What are you going to call me? A Mary Sam?
by PippinStrange
Summary: A typical 10th walker is dumped in ME. There is no falling for Legolas, because he's a gawky teenager guy with ADD. Nate becomes part of the intricate tale of the fate of Middle Earth. Important notice posted! NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR! All reviewers read now!
1. Blundering Idiot

**Disclaimer: the only LOTR I own is the DVD's and BOOKS...

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Chapter One, Blundering Idiot

Ah, the introduction. It's like a really dumb—but awesome--"get to know you" game we play at Youth Group.

The chapter title says it all. I'm a klutz…very, very clumsy…but a lovable klutz, I like to think of myself as. The cute kind, I hope. I'm the type of person that gets run to the hospital because I tripped on a cement stair going into an appliance shop and received a well-earned concussion. (Do not ask me why I said well-earned, because I don't know).

Some writer I am! I can't even write a blasted introduction. Okay, how's this:

My name is Nate. Short for…you guess it! Nathan! Bravo. You get a sticker. I am almost seventeen. (that sounds better than 'sixteen', don't you think?)

And…I'm special because God makes us special and he loves us very much! Oh, ahem, I mean this story is being written, in all honesty, because something ABNORMALLY COOL happened to me this summer. Yes, this summer. Because everything cool happens in a hot summer. Haha. (sorry if you don't like my sense of humor. I'm sure there are plenty of other fan fictions to read if you don't.)

I am very short. Five foot three, to be exact. And I'm an upperclassmen. (I shudder at the thought! Phew!). I have dark red hair. It's so dark, it's almost brown, but I don't admit this to anyone. Even my parents, who both have brown hair, who insist I do as well, but I like my red hair. It used to be purple, my sister didn't mix the dye right, but that is a different story.

I have ADD, so my story gets off subject a lot. Sorry again. Anyways, this story is pretty special because it is MINE to tell, it's unique, and because I went to Middle Earth! _I went to Middle Earth!_ I've got jar of dirt, I've got a jar of dirt…

And the cool thing is, it's not me being an OC falling in love with Legolas (or Legless, as I call him) because I am, in fact, male, and I do not fall in love with other guys, however girlie they may be (glares at Legolas). Actually, my manners fall apart here—for real, Legolas is totally AWESOME with the bow and he's a great character. I just like to use my playful, teasing, cruel banter just to make girls mad. Hehe.

Hm…enough about me. I've made you pretty confused already. I like singing (I am a tenor), I like food (a lot!) and I'm very single. And it's going to stay that way. The ladies of Middle Earth were hot, but they are TAKEN.

So, as the chapter title said, I am a blundering idiot, in more ways than one. I'm clumsy, yes, but I saw the wrong things at the wrong time, and my sarcasm has lost me friends before (a habit that dies hard).

But this story is going to be pretty suh-weet, if I actually finish writing it, because as you all know, I'm pretty in-depth this Narnia story about Peter. But depends on the reviews I get, I MIGHT tell you about my trip to Middle Earth, and like the stories say, I became the dreaded Tenth Walker. So what are you going to call me? A Mary Sam? I don't think so. I don't fall in love with anyone.

So there!

Read and Review this pretty darn awesome introduction, (even if I DO get off subject a little,) and we'll see what I post next…


	2. How I Got there, duh!

**Laer-random numbers-: Thanks for the review. Keep reading. I hope it doesn't fall apart on ya. If it does, read my Narnia fic. It's perty good, I think. Prolly cuz it has careful planning and this one doesn't. **

**ChattyChick: Hmm, interesting penname. Glad you like my sense of humor, because...well...because it gives me a fuzzy feeling inside!!! Like warm root beer!!! sobs...oh, sorry, where were we...oh yah, I hope you keep reading! Thanks for the review!

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PLEASE CHECK OUT MY PROFILE!!! THERES SOME GOOD STUFF ON IT!!

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Chapter 2, How I actually got there…duh…

Well, now, it all started when I went to the movie theatre with a couple of buddies of mine, and we were sitting in the plushy seats throwing popcorn at eachother. We saw some comercials that weren't very interesting, then we saw one for King Kong by Peter Jackson. Now, that looked cool!

Buuuuuuuut… when the credit rolled up that said, "From the Director of Lord of the Rings!" the music stopped, popcorn disappeared in midair, and the faces of my friends (which showed up in the dark theatre from the strange, bluish light cast on them by the screen) they disappeared too. Tiny lights down the aisle puffed and went out.

Everything, in fact, was comepletely gone, except the words "From the Director of Lord of the Rings." In fact, everything faded BUT the words

_Lord of the Rings_

And that was all that showed in the pitch blackness.

"Hey…everybody?" I called, but no answer. "Ya'll? Look alive, everyone, it's like one of those blackout thingy's…" had my best friend James been here, he would have told me to shut up, since there were little kids around that might get scared. (he's so tender hearted like that.) So, I did. Jest bein' kind to his memory! (not like he's dead or anything).

Finally, the screen faded away, and it was just black by itself. A light turned on overhead, THANK GOD, but it wasn't an overhead light.

Eek! It was the moon! How'd I get outside?

I, like I said, have ADD, so it was a little harder for me to comprehend what the honk was going on. First, I'm in movie theatre, then, I'm in moonlit…forest??? No way!

I was in a forest. And not just any forest. A misty forest, pretty elvish looking, I can add now. Was I scared? Oh no! I was totally elated with this opportunity. Opportunity of what, I had no idea, so…what does a lunkhead guy like me do?

Why, go 'splorin, course!

It didn't last long. I was in a T-Shirt (an olive green one that said, **1f U cn r&d th1$, U r n&rd! **) jeans, and my lucky blue Chuck Taylor Converse All-Stars High Tops. Luckily, I remembered my volcom zipper sweatshirt tied around my waist (I know, how unfashionable is that? You ladies shudder.)

So, like a good little boy, I put it on, and wished I had long hair like most muscians. They'd cover my ears and keep them warm!

DANGIT IT WAS COLD!

I knew, like most smart kids, (nose grows another two inches) that I was undoubtedly in Middle Earth. Boy, was I lucky! One of my best friends, Lindy, would be SO JEALOUS. (She's got a crush on Billy Boyd.) And I knew, if I ever returned, that if I told her, she'd believe me. And she's the only one who would, too.

I lost track of time, wandering aimlessly in circle around the woods. I decided to save my ipod batteries, but I checked my cellphone periodically to see how much time went by. Five minutes. Twenty minutes. I didn't have any service.

You'd think it would be the norm, obviously, for me to nearly die with hypothermia, and to be rescued dramatically from a snowy grave by the hot Arwen, who'd drag me to Rivendell, and woohla! Lord Elrond would cure my wounds (from what battle, exactly??) and I'd be a house favorite.

Not so. I'd been wandering around the night forest (not the least bit scary) and stumbled upon a little cottage. How quaint.

I feigned like I was dying of cold and hunger, just to be a jerk, and the little elf family inside disliked my modern apparal, but said, "Come in, we haven't much, but some warm soup will do just the trick."

Quite normally, without my gasping and shivering, I nearly shouted gallantly, "Why, thankee, Madam!" and walked right in.

My apparent "recovery" was noticed but not mentioned. They gave me soup and offered shelter for the night.

Putting on what I jokingly call "King Manners" I kissed her hand, told her that she was indeed so kind as to offer a stranger shelter, but begged her leave to only ask for direction to the city of Rivendell, and that I should be no further bother.

She nearly laughed at me, handed me a loaf of bread, and pointed me northward from the cottage door. Her cute little elf babies (who were much older than babies but never said a word) waved forlornly at me when I left.

Now, for Rivendell and the North! Yippee!

Read and review, please, or I shan't tell you the rest of my adventure. HAHA!!!


	3. Captured by Arwen, literally!

**To those…reviewing people who write reviews:

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**Sylph: We aren't watching LOTR in theatre, we actually watched a movie that is never named, but there is a commercial for "King Kong" and it says "From the director of Lord of the Rings" in the preview. That's when everything BUT the words "Lord of the Rings" fade away.

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**And to all the others, who wrote LOVELY reviews aw, sniff I appreciate the feed back. You have earned………………………………………

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**Chapter 3, Captured by Arwen, literally!**

I know, I know! The chapter title says all: I'm captured by Arwen. And I don't mean, my heart is captured by her worshipfulness, rather, I'm walking along the road, minding my own business….

"Introduce who you are, stranger, as you value your life."

The blade was pressed against my throat (that would be the one on her SWORD) and she is mistaking me for an orc. (I didn't break out that badly, geez lady!)

"I thought the line was, 'What's this? A ranger caught off his guard?'"

"Don't speak in riddles," she commanded. "Who are you, and what businesses have you wandering around her in the course of the night?"

I suddenly noticed a cute flower blooming by my feet. Hi little guy!

"SPEAK!" she said in those kinds of voices you don't trifle with.

"Or forever hold your peace," I finished.

"Arwen, come out of the open," said a deeper voice. "Frodo is comfortable now. Take him to your father."

"I've found a spy," Arwen said to Aragorn, who was undoubtedly hiding in the bushes with a couple of scared hobbits. I could hear Frodo gasping in pain. (I'm sorry, I have to say it: What a pansy!).

"Go on," Aragorn said. "I'll take care of him."

Unfortunately, Arwen hopped into the bushes, came out leading her white horse, and making sure she had an arm about Frodo, whispered, "Noro lim, Asfaloth, noro lim!" and then she took off galloping into moonlight.

I whistled. "That's quite a gal."

"And who are you?" Aragorn calmly surveyed my clothing and held his hands loosely at his sides.

"Well, I ain't droppin' no eaves, honest sir!" I exclaimed.

Sam nearly passed out, considering he had sneaked away from the little campfire where the other two hobbits were, and was hiding behind Aragorn. Plus, I used his favorite line.

"Who are you?" Aragorn repeated.

"Distant traveler," I said a little coldly, crossing my eyes at Sam.

"Back to the fire, Sam," said Aragorn a little sternly. He scampered back to his little furry friends.

"I'm Nate," I said, holding out my hand. Aragorn took it and shook it, but it was unenthusiastic. "I'm lost. I stumbled upon ya'll quite on accident. And I'm not a spy, though her highnesses thought I was."

"Well," Aragorn said uncertainly. "I can take you as far as Rivendell."

"Perfect," I said. "That's where I want to go. I want to speak with Gandalf."

Out of everyone I could think of from Lord of the Rings, he would be the one that would probably believe I was from another world.

"You know Gandalf?"

"I know OF him."

"Well, I suppose we can take you there."

"Thank-you, mister…"

"Just call me Strider."

"Fine, then you call me Shorty."

Strider was exasperated, and shot a glare at me, and knew I was poking fun at his Ranger name. Not so, honestly, I was just hoping to say "Aragorn" because that's what I was used to.

"Wassup, chillins?" I said to the hobbits when I joined them by the fire. Sam muttered something about, "It ain't right, HE ain't right, I see it in his eyes!"

"What sorta language is he speakin' in, Merry?" asked the other, which must be…you guess.

"I dunno, Pip."

"Would you like me to speak in English?" I asked.

"I don't know English, I've never heard of it," Pippin said dorkily.

"Common Speech," I corrected.

"That's the one," Merry offered quickly. "Frodo knows a bit of elvish, but…" he trailed off and bit his lip. Sam looked down. Pippin actually _sniffled. _

"Come on, guys," I said quickly. Strider looked up at me from where he was packing up Sam's beloved frying pan. "Frodo is going to be just fine."

"How do you know? You just got here!" Merry said. Oh, he just has to be sensible, right?

"Well, I assume he was the sick fellow on horseback…"

"That's the one."

"And if he's going to Rivendell, Lord Elrond will be fixing him up, right?"

"Yes…"

"Then no worries! He's the best healer around…right?"

"Well, yes!" said Merry admittingly. "Stop crying, Peregrin," he added.

"That's right!" I said, wishing I could teach them some sort of school fight song to keep them occupied. "You just cheer up now. Cuz we're goin to Rivendell, goin to Rivendell…" I sang a little off key just for fun.

"Are you ill?" asked Strider, fighting something similar to a smile at the corners of the lips.

"No, I'm not," I said. "I don't sing like that all the time. Just trying to cheer up a few hobbits I don't even know."

Pippin added, "What a relief! I was afraid we'd have to listen to that all the way to Rivendell."

"Hey," I pointed a finger at him. "You wanna wash more dishes?"

"No," he replied humbly.

"I sing what I like, and I like what I sing. If you're good, I'll teach you a song you hobbits would love."

"What's it called?"

"Chim Chim Cheree."

"Bless you!"

"I didn't sneeze, Pippin. That's the name of the song!"

"Oh."

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I'll stop this WHOLE STORY about my summer if you don't send me more reviews. EVIL LAUGH. Review or suffer the consequences! (don't ask me what they are!)

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PS: Everyone keeps sending me ideas like "Gary Stu or Larry Stu" and things like that. Thanks for the ideas, but I'm not changing it, neither was I wondering, I was just using that silly "Mary Sue" thing for the title so that it would look unique, and hopefully catch a few reviewers. 


	4. Starfish Shines on Hour of our Meeting

**Thanks for all the lovely reviews! I hope you like this little chapter!

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Chapter Four, **A starfish shines on the hour of our meeting**

Well, I was rather shocked to see that dawn approached within the next two hours as we walked through the woods eastward. According to my cell phone, it was still about eight o'clock at my home. I went ahead and reset it in Middle Earth time, and left my ipod clock at normal time so that I could see if _this _time warp froze up on earth.

I really did want to teach Merry and Pippin how to sing "Chim Chim Cheree" but Aragorn told me to "hush, for we were not out of danger yet!" Sam snorted at me disapprovingly. Sam does that to everyone.

By the time Pippin began to complain, again, about second breakfast, (I wished I had an apple to throw at his head!) we came to a river.

"Good, they have crossed," Aragorn said to himself, kneeling and examining the shoreline for tracks or something.

I pretended I was doing something important and knelt and watched some rocks on the ground.

"What are you doing?" asked Pippin—whom I dub the Most Curious and Inquisitive.

"Oh, look, I found a green one!" I picked up a rock the size of a penny and put it in my pocket. It's never too late to grab mementos.

"Let's cross," Aragorn straightened. "Put Pippin on Bill. I'll take Sam. Can you take Merry?"

Why, he was asking me to help out! Of course, Mr. Ranger! I reached over, grabbed Merry, and threw him over my back fireman style.

"Aye, aye, Cap'n," I said. Merry squeaked with surprise.

We waded across the river with not so much ease, and I succeeded in getting myself wet up to the waist. It was FREEZING!

We struggled up the dip in the shoreline ahead, and come over the brink, and were greeted by the sight of Rivendell nestled between the cliffs in the little valley.

"Ain't you a sight for sore eyes!" I cried in a Yorkshire accent, putting Merry on the ground—having forgotten about him anyways. Rivendell was incredibly beautiful. If I could describe it, I would in great detail…but…all I can think of is golden, misty, and heavenly looking. Thomas Kinkade would love to paint it.

Okay, so the journey down was BORING, so I'll skip that part. Ha! I have the power! Yippee!

Probably the best part, I'll tell, was when we were finally all hustled inside and shown to separate rooms down a maze of corridors.

"You don't understand," I pretended to cry. "I'm directionally challenged! I'll never find my way out!"

An elf looked at Aragorn quizzically.

"Keep an eye on him," Aragorn said sternly.

"Waaaaaaaaaaater, waaaaaaaaaater!" I muttered. "Where's Wilson???"

"If you need assistance," said the Elf, opening a random door and motioning inside. "You can just pull this cord and someone will come to aide you."

"Gee, thanks, pal!" I said, bowing. Oh, what was that line that Frodo used? Something about a star shining on our meeting?

"A starfish shineth upon the hour of our meeting," is, unfortunately, what popped out instead.

The Elf's face twisted into something that could be holding in laughter and shut the door.

Starfish. How dumb is that.

I looked around the room. It was light yellow, with mahogany woodwork and carvings all over. There was an oval mirror in one corner, a washstand in the other, and a "corner cupboard" where I found some hot elvish clothing for someone my size. (The pants, I found, were much too short. I find it dumb in some stories when the elves magically get clothes that fit them PERFECTLY. I was happy the pants were too short. I could never have parted with a pair of jeans, anyways.

But I decided against my better judgment to go ahead and put on the clothes. Why not? I'd blend in more, anyways.

I put on the olive green shirt, and followed it with this cool brown leather vest thingy. It was almost like a tunic. I put on the braided belt over that and wished I had a sword to boot. I left my jeans on and tried on the boots. They were too big, but I could grow into them, couldn't I? My feet grew nearly two sizes last year, so I left them on.

I looked in the mirror. I looked ridiculous!

"Welcome to TLC's What Not to Wear," I muttered to myself. I planted on my famous "Harrison Ford Smile" (that being the only thing girls ever liked about my looks) and decided, well, as I long as I kept smiling like it was glued on me then I'd pass by well enough.

The curtains to the window moved from a breeze. I was happy to discover it was not a window, but a pair of skinny doors. When I opened both, I could step out onto a cute balcony.

From where I stood, I could have a lovely view of the front gate. Legolas galloped through, his Fabio hair blowing in the wind behind him. He dismounted smoothly and looked around. Geez, God was bragging when he made that man…why do some have all the luck?

"Romeo, Romeo," I hollered to him. "Wherefore art thou, Romeo?" I ducked behind the wall before he could see me. I then giggled to myself like a little hobbit before I peaked over again. Legolas was walking away, glancing over his shoulder every once in a while as if nervous. I decided that moment I was going to tease that poor elf unmercifully.

Boromir road up too. I waved to him.

"Hail, Boromir!" I called.

He waved politely.

"What news of Gondor?" I called.

"Osgilioth has been retaken!" he called, a smile brightening his face.

"How nice!" I called back.

Boromir went inside.

I waited for ten minutes or so, enjoying the view, when Gimli and Gloin came blumbering up the path and growled to themselves.

Gloin looked old, and very tired. Gimli looked like he was ready to disprove anything he saw or heard.

"Look, it's Grumpy and Sleepy!" I said to myself. I decided, for once, to be polite and not say it quite loud enough for them to hear. They could hear my own laughter though.

I finally chose to make myself scarce and see about breakfast. I was craving hashbrowns, pancakes, and bacon, but I somehow doubted that's what I'd be getting.

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Well, everyone, I managed to make this chapter a little longer so that ya'll can get a bit more detail. I won't be doing that all the time, though. If I want to tell everyone my WHOLE story without taking years and years to write it all up, I have to leave out little details.

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**Anyways, review my chapter por favor! And yes, everyone, I know, it's Gary/Larry Stu. I've had millions of people tell me that. The title is just the title. No question intended.**


	5. Frodo, Pobrecito!

**Thanks for the reviews! Very sweet! Hope you all like this chapter…

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**Chapter Five, Frodo, Pobrecito!**

Well, the rumbly in my tumbly led me down the corridor (thankfully, I did not get lost!) and I smelled food. I stepped into a steamy kitchen where a few elves were gracefully running about making delicious looking things…..

Pippin and Merry were seated at a table, munching on bread, meat, fruit, etc. I sat next to them saying, "Howdy, pardners!"

"Hello," they replied cheerfully.

"How's the cuz?" I asked, stealing a grape from Merry's plate.

"Cousin Frodo, you mean?" Pippin asked. "Well now, we've seen 'im, and he seems like he's doing dandy. Sam's lookin' after him, but he hasn't woken up yet."

"Stop stealing my grapes," Merry said.

"I like grapes!" I giggled in an elderly womans voice. (For those of you like Merry and Pippin and DON'T know, that's from Charlie and Chocolate Factory!)

"Would you like something?" said a pretty elf girl, handing me a plate. I launched into my Antonio Banderas romantico accent.

"I would very much like the pleasure of your company," I said nicely.

She set the plate in front of me so that it made a clangy noise. "I'm afraid I have much work to do, sir." She scampered off.

"Rejected again," I moaned.

"How can you think of girls if Frodo hasn't woken yet," Merry said a little snappishly.

"Oh, Pobrecito!" I snapped back. I proceeded to eat my food.

The elf girl returned without a word and handed me a goblet. I sniffed it, frowned, and leaned over to Pippin. "What do I have the pleasure of having in my…grail?"

"Jest eh bit of ale," he whispered back.

"But I don't drink!" I motioned the girl back over. "Ma'am, sorry to be a bother, but I don't drink ale."

"A bit of wine then?" she asked politely.

In all honesty, I was CRAVING A ROCKSTAR ENERGY DRINK.

"Got Milk?" I asked, making myself laugh with my own joke.

She raised her eyebows.

"You know," I said, "Cows?" I put fingers to my head like horns. "Moo?"

"Oh," she said, changing my goblet for another filled with milk.

"Thank-you," I said.

She left.

"No ale?" Pip said in astonishment. "I believe you are older than I!"

"And you are…"

"Just out of my tweens."

"Barely," muttered Merry.

"I am older," I said. "Mentally, anyways."

Merry laughed.

After finishing, we went and got to see Frodo, who was awake and ready to receive callers. Sam watched my every move like a hungry hawk watching a mouse, making sure I did nothing to his darling little Frodo.

I admit, it wasn't Elijah Wood obviously portraying a sick hobbit. Seeing a real hobbit, pale and sleepy, was pretty sad. I felt sorry for him.

"How're feeling, little man?" I asked.

He looked at me strangely. "Have we met?"

"No. But I've been kind of tagging along Merry and Pippin here. And Ar—ahem, Strider."

"How did you come to tag along?" said Gandalf's deep voice, emerging from the balcony.

"GEEZ LOUISE!" I exclaimed. I had had my back towards him and he scared the living daylights out of me. "You're not very good on the old ticker."

He chuckled. "I like to have my questions answered."

I straightened. "I have several of my OWN."

"But it may depend whether or not I answer them."

"You don't and I'll ask them elsewhere."

"But you shall answer mine, Stranger."

"If I so choose."

Frodo was wide-eyed at my bantering with Emperor Palpa—I mean, Gandalf.

"Can we go talk somewhere?" I gestured to the door. "In private?"

"Of course," Gandalf said, following me out.

I loved how Pippin and Merry waved goodbye as if the next time they'd see me would be at my funeral.

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Sorry so short! I was puttin' together my new homepage. 


	6. Of Cranky Old Men and Technology

**Hey everyone! I'm glad everyone liked this last chapter, I hope this one will be as good—don't get your hopes too high. Lol.**

**Anyways, have fun, life's tough, eat Wendy's.**

**God bless!**

_Fool of a Took

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**Chapter Six, Of Cranky Old Men and Technology**

"Alright Gramps," I said, after me and Gandalf had been seated in a table thing on a balcony thing overlooking a waterfall thing. "I've got this little, hm, dilemma…"

"So have I," Gandalf said, his eyebrows wagging up and down. "And I think you're it."

"Well now," I muttered. "Ain't that nice." I couldn't come up with a better comeback. But secretly I declared verbal war.

"Aragorn did not like how you appeared out of nowhere, and in such strange attire," Gandalf said slowly for dramatic effect. "He mentioned you had many a strange object, or weapon, perhaps, in your pockets."

"I'll show you those later," I said. "But you're a wizard, right?"

"Indeed."

"So you believe in, let's say, the unbelievable?"

"Perhaps."

"If you are a conjurour of tricks and magic, would you beleive…"

"My time is short."

"Okay, fine. Would you believe I was from a different world?"

"Yes," he said without hesitation.

"Really??"

"No."

"Oh," I shrugged. "That stinks. I guess I'll have to prove it to you."

"I don't think," said Gandalf grumpily, "Anything you can show me shall change my mind. I know of many comings and goings, and there is many an object in this world that may seem unworldly, but not one could really mean a separate universe."

I pulled out my ipod.

"That is not of Elven make," Gandalf said mysteriously, taking it and examining closely.

"I think it says Made In China somewhere," I muttered.

"What is it?" asked Gandalf finally.

"It is called an ipod," I said.

"The name is of dwarven heritage," murmured Gandalf.

"Well, I can assure you," I argued. "That was not their intention." I leaned over and switched it on. The screen lit up.

"Ah, it produces light, that's nothing," assured Gandalf.

"Yes, because your staff can do the same," I sighed. "I know all that. But can it make music?"

"Music?"

I took the headphones. "Put one of these in your ear."

Gandalf glared at me distrustfully and complied.

"Now hold on," I went through my list of songs and finally found my "soundtracks" section. Gandalf watched the screen with increasing interest. I made sure the volume was down before pressing "play" on the song "May it Be". Then I slowly turned it up.

Gandalf was startled, jumped, and grasped the earphone. He listened intently.

When the song was over, I put on something a little more…contemporary.

"Heavens above!" shouted Gandalf, pulling the earphone out. "What kind of devil's music was that?"

"It's called _The Beatles." _I said, laughing. "It's an entertaining group from my world—actually from the 1960s. It's an old song. The time in my world is the 2000s."

"I have never seen anything like it in Middle Earth," Gandalf said. "I suppose there is something to your story."

"Here is something else," I pulled out my cellphone. "This is a communicator from my world. I guess you could call it a modern palantir."

"Put it away!" commanded Gandalf.

"You can't see anything," I assured. "Sauron can't exactly give me a phonecall. Only people with a similar device as this can talk to me."

This was definetly over his head. He sat, stunned, looking at me curiously.

"You see," I hastened to explain, "It doesn't have service just now, which means I'm not close enough to the power source to gain access to talking to someone else millions of miles away with the same thing—which, is called, a cellphone."

"Fascinating," Gandalf took it gently and opened it. The screen turned on and said I had no messages. But something else caught my eye—a row of five green bars.

"Holy cow, I have service!" I grabbed it and jumped to my feet. "I can call someone from my world!"

"Try it," Gandalf said sternly.

I shakily dialed Lindy's number. It rang.

"Hello?" said a sleepy voice.

"Lindy, it's Nate." I quickly put it on speakerphone.

"What's wrong, Nate? Why are you calling so late?"

I looked at my ipod clock, hoping the time had frozen. "But it's only eight o'clock."

"I have graveyard shift all week. Sorry. It feels like four in the morning. Anyways, my clock stopped! Not again!"

"Okay, Lindy, I'll…let you go for now. Can I ask you something?"

"Make it fast, buddy."

"If I disappear for years and years on end, tell everyone not to worry? I'm not dead?"

"Yeah…sure…whatever you say. That's a funny thing to ask, though."

"I know," I glanced at Gandalf. His eyebrows were bristling. "Are you sure your clock stopped?"

"Yes."

"Okay. Go back to sleep, Lindy. Sorry. Love you."

"Love you too. Bye." She hung up.

"That was indeed the most peculiar thing I have ever witnessed in all my born days," Gandalf said seriously. "It's so strange I'll just have to…" he paused.

I leaned forward and waited for so long that I figured the old man fell asleep.

"I guess I'll have to believe you."

"Yes!" I pumped a fist.

"I'm not going to try and question these things, like how they work and why they do what they do," he said sorrowfully. "That would take a lifetime! But I do have a question."

"Yes?"

"Why did you tell that young woman you loved her?"

"Because I do," I said, surprised. "She's my be—dearest friend in the whole world." I decided not to say "best" friend. He wouldn't understand.

"Aha," Gandalf sighed. "Well, I see that you are from Another World, however impossible that is. And I'm sure your no enemy, seeing that you can bestow sacred words of betrothal when the relationship is strictly friendly."

I made no answer.

"And furthermore," Gandalf muttered. "Aragorn was worried, and rightly so, for coming from another world is sticky business. Elrond has foreseen it however, and you've answered all questions in his premonition rightly enough."

"So Elrond even predicted I was coming," I said, completely put out. "And you made go to all that trouble and sweat to try and prove I'm from a different world?"

"Yes."

"Grrrr!" I replied. "So, now all the dirty work is over. Can I attend the Council?"

"How did you know about the council?"

"Elrond isn't the only one who can foresee things," I snapped. "And even though Middle Earth doesn't know about my Earth, we know about you. We've got history books about ya'll. But they think its fiction."

"This is increasingly disturbing," Gandalf said. "I'm shocked and surprised that Elrond is going to permit you to attend the Council."

"He is?" I laughed evilly. "Good old Lord Elrond! He's nicer to me than you are."

"And don't expect it to change."

"I won't." ...This Gandalf is grumpier than the old one, I thought, laughing.

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**READ AND REVIEW OR I WON'T TELL YOU ABOUT THE COUNCIL OF ELROND!!!! (Now, THAT'S a threat!)**


	7. Council of Elves, Men, and short dudes

**Thanks to all you ahem fans, for your patience, I have been really lazy as of late because sitting around in the council was SO BORING, so I've put it off. **

**Later,**

**The Naaaaaaaate

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**PS: My adventure follows the book a little more closely than the movie, at least, the Council did, because in all honesty—a REAL elvish council would not be as short as it was in the movie.

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**Chapter 7, Council of Elves, Men, and really short dudes**

Lucky me, I got to sit in a chair, next to Legolas, and view the little happenings around the open air patio. I was listening in on all the secret plans and enjoyed it immensely. Except the fact I was bored out of my skull, I listened dully without as much as an interruption as Gloin covered his story of Balin going to Moria and the Ringwraith coming to his gate twice. I felt sorry for the little old short dude…he didn't know his cousin was dead.

Boromir gave his account of the dream Faramir had of the "flame woken, blade broken," yadda yadda. Gandalf muttered words of the black tongue, and the looks on everyone's faces should have been hilarious, but I couldn't laugh. Gandalf and Aragorn retold their story in full of Gollum's capture, and Blondie astonished everyone with his news of his escape.

"This is grevious," said Gandalf.

No, it isn't. Grevious is in Star Wars, not Lord of the Rings, you dork.

"Alas, the elves have failed in their task," Legolas said miserably.

"Oh, go manicure your nails," I whispered jockingly.

Legolas looked increasingly disturbed at my presence. Or maybe it was my face. It could easily be either.

Frodo looked like a shy little kid asking his elementary teacher if he could go potty when he stood and whispered, "I will take the Ring," during the ensuing silence. "Thought I do not know the way."

Sam insisted on going, and Elrond scolded him laughingly about being summoned to secret councils—NOT.

"Merry and Pippin should go," I blurted.

Everyone stared me down.

"They could be easily hurt or killed," Gandalf said. "Why do you suggest this folly?"

"Define folly," I retorted.

"They will not go." Elrond stated.

"But they should," I said seriously.

"Why should they?"

"Because the coming of Merry and Pippin will be like the falling of small stones that begin an avalanche," I quoted my most favorite line in the whole movie.

Gandalf leaned over and whispered something in Elrond's ear. I caught two words: foresight, and nonsense. Not very comforting.

"Very well," said Elrond, surprising Gandalf terribly. "They will go. They are your responsibility, Nathaniel," he used my name incorrectly, but at least it sounded Middle Earthish. He pronounced it "Nuth AHN nee yell".

"Which you must bear them—as your burden."

"SURELY YOU AREN'T SAYING HE IS GOING," Gandalf said, looking distressed and his face an odd shade of peachy red.

"His name is NOT Shirley," I replied, quoting a really funny Phantom of the Opera fic by Serena Kenobi that my sister read to me.

Gandalf spluttered something unintelligible.

"I sense you must go," Elrond sighed. "I disagree, but I cannot pass on what I feel is right, despite the dangers. You've proven to be odd, possibly mentally unstable, but I can foresee many things, and in the end it will be right."

"I AM mental," I said seriously. "But not dangerously. I have a condition called ADD."

"Add?" Gandalf said stupidly, like he was talking about a math problem.

"No, A-D-D," I said. "It's nothing dangerous. It just makes it really hard for me to concentrate on things—like books—while sitting for long amounts of time. And random things pop into my head, and I generally say them out loud."

The council was rather silent. Okay…so now I was embaressed. If that could sign a paper that said I couldn't go—well, consider it signed.

"Still…" Elrond muttered. "What is done, is done. You are to be part of the Fellowship of the Ring."

"Great," I said, taking advantage of Pippin's absence—like in the book. "Where are we going?"

A death glare from all present, a long silence, and something like a snort of Legolas issued.

"Just kidding," I added hastily.

After my disclaimer, people soon began to talk amongst themselves, and a dull hum was all about.

The half-past noon bell rang, and we were signaled to supper. I didn't feel very hungry, honestly. I mean—what had I got myself into? A long journey? When Boromir died, would I get captured by the Uruk Hai? Would I travel with the Three Hunters, or continue on with the Ringbearer? Maybe I'd die, too, and arrive back in the movie theatre with a ghastly wound to the chest. How weird would that be.

"What are your thoughts?" said Boromir, giving me a sidelong glance at the supper table moments later.

"Nothing," I said, munching a piece of bread. I really wanted to throw grapes at people, but that's been taken. See penname _Captain Oblivious_, and her story _The Traveler, Lord of the Rings._

"You are worried, I sense it," Boromir said kindly. "You are shocked, maybe, that Elrond told you to go and take care of Merry and Pippin?"

"Maaaaaaybe," I drawled. "Maybe I'm excited. Maybe I'm a little miffed that I had to explain ADD to a bunch of wise elves."

A few other elves were suddenly silenced.

"Did I say that out loud?" I asked sarcastically.

"Yes, you did," Boromir laughed and gave me a friendly slap on the shoulder. "You're a friendly person, Nathaniel, and we'll look out for eachother on this journey. We share a comradie—a sense of humour, I think, that separates us from other men. A likeness like brothers."

"Thank-you, Boromir," I said sincerely, decided to throw the grapes anyway.

Gandalf looked up at the ceiling curiously for a raincloud full of grapes.

"Though maybe we aren't even with maturity," Boromir said slowly.

"Consider me a much…younger…brother," I said, grinning evily.

"Ay, I've got one already. I know how to do that."

"Good, you'll need all the experience you can get,"

and with that, Boromir went to take a sip of wine and found a full grape floating atop it.

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**I hope you liked this! Hope it wasn't too boring for you as it was for me. Enjoy, my favorite reviewers! ****

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**Review or I shall not calculate, write, hint, record, or pen the next chapter—when the ring goes south. And you all know you want to hear about it. People love to hear about vacations—especially when one gets to go to middle earth. ;-) **


	8. Visited by the Awkward Bird

**Dear…People:**

**Thanks for the patience. Here's the next chapter. HOPE YOU ENJOY IT!!!**

**Pippin Baggins

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**

**Nate: **Ooh, yay, another chapter of my awesome summer.

**Pippin Baggins: **Yes, I toiled over it all day.

**Nate: **Well, thanks, Pip.

**Pippin Baggins: **No problem!Eleven dollars.

**Nate: **Why me…??

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**Chapter 8, Visited by the Awkward Bird**

We stayed in Rivendell for all of autumn. It was slightly boring for me, because I didn't have my friends with me, or movies, or books, or anything. I did get to know Boromir and Merry and Pippin alright, and we became buddies. I taught Mer and Pip how to "Gimme Five!" and I was yet to reveal the disappointment of a "Too slow Joe."

I did finally relent and start wearing ranger-like clothing when it starting growing too cold for just jeans. And, since we were planning a little trip, I had to learn to "layer up" but my jeans safely made it into my pack.

Preparing for the journey went slowly, and as we grew closer to leaving, everyone starting getting depressed, but I was raring to go! I'd been sitting around doing nothing from something like two months. I missed my parents and friends a lot, and if I were to hurry up and get moving, things would be better. I just knew it.

Finally, it was time to depart. It was one of those frosty mornings with mist in the woods, and sun penetrating the thin clouds but never reaching the ground. Poor Aragorn and Arwen stared at each other longingly as we stood in a funny little bunch, while Elrond gave a long speech for our journey. I kept hopping on one foot to the other, wishing we were gone. A trip, some battle, and some camping. Plus, I'd gotten personal sword lessons from Boromir. He said my moves were clumsy, but beginning to take shape, and if we were ever attacked, I WOULD survive—which I found very good news.

Immediately I began humming "I will survive" under my breath. People glared at me from all around and I decided to shut my mouth.

Finally, Legolas did his corny hand motion in farewell. I snickered and followed his movements, exaggerating them terribly. We turned and began a solemn march towards the gate.

"Mordor, Gandalf," whispered Frodo. "Is it right or left?"

"Right," I said, nearly giggling with anticipation.

"Left!" hissed Gandalf, his staff looking more like a weapon than a walking stick.

And finally, we were off!

"We must hold course for forty days," Gandalf said as if he was leading a tour and he was the tour guide. Hopefully the Gap of Rohan will be open to us, and then our paths turn east to Mordor."

"Thank-ye, Cap'n," I muttered, shouldering my pack and glancing at other people. They all looked the same—grim, resolute, and thinking deeply. Like people concentrating on yoga or something.

I was wearing traveling clothes, and I must admit, I looked hot in them. Dark pants, tunic, leather armor, cape, and an older sword that no one wanted hanging from an elvish belt. If only everyone back at home could see me! I decided that, upon returning, I'd dress up as Aragorn for Halloween. How totally sweet that would be.

The time actually sped by much quicker than I thought, and we stopped for a little bit of lunch. We were on a high, rock outcropping, overlooking the valleys we had just gone over. Rivendell had long disappeared behind the foothills of the Misty Mountains.

Boromir pulled out his sword. "Come, Pippin, let us have a little spar practice!"

"Alright," cried Pippin excitedly, pulling his sword out and waving it around.

"Don't mind if I join you," added Merry, drawing his sword.

"Two, one, five," Boromir instructed.

Aragorn watched with interest, puffing his pipe. "Move your feet."

I remembered this part!

I instinctively nudged a bag underneath the bushes with my foot. I nonchalantly grabbed Merry and Pippin's carelessly tossed bags and put them under the shadow of a rock. No one noticed my doings. Gimli spluttered at Gandalf about Moria somewhere to the right.

I pulled out my sword. "EN GUARD!" I shouted, pretended to bear down on Merry and Pippin.

"Ah!" they cried, Merry eagerly joining me in a mock duel.

"You look good, Pippin," called Merry from his sword fighting with me.

"Thanks," said Pippin, growing distracted. Boromir accidently went in too close and nicked his hand.

Pippin made a noise, dropped his sword, and grabbed his hand.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" cried Boromir, running hastily to his side.

Pippin tackled Boromir, Merry forgot about me and went in with him. They began a spontaneous wrestling match.

"Round one, ding," I said dully, sitting down, where boredom soon began to eat away at me. I sheathed my sword and liked the feeling of its weight from my belt. How sad it is that we cannot carry them around at home! That totally stinks!

Aragorn got dragged into the fight.

"Aragorn the King is down," I narrated. "Boromir the Rock is barely hanging on. Pipsqueak is making a surprising victory in tonights match. I've never seen anything like it, folks! Oh, the Hairy Merry is down, oh, he's up again! It's the fight of the season!"

Gimli harrumphed at my stupidity. I harrumphed back at his.

"What is that?" Sam broke a strange silence between him and Pansy. (Frodo.)

"Nothing, tis but a whisp of cloud," Gimli said nonchalantly.

"It's moving fast," Boromir leapt to his feat.

"And against the wind," I added, grabbing my bag.

"CREBAIN, from DUNLAND," cried Fabio.

"Hide!" shouted Aragorn.

I threw Sam's pack under the bushes and stomped out the fire. Frodo scurried behind me and I neatly tripped over him, sending myself flying into the bushes whether I liked it or not.

Within seconds, we were more than half invisible, but I knew the stupid crows would see us anyways. They circled about the hill, wings flapping and their caws echoing. Finally, they soared upwards and back southwards and were gone.

"The Gap of Rohan is being watched," Gandalf said solemnly.

"We must go to the Mount of Much Snowia!" I exclaimed, quoting—well, Veggie Tales "Lord of the Beans," actually. Hilarious movie.

"Caradhras," corrected Gandalf.

I rolled my eyes. "I know what it's called."

We gathered our things again and made our way towards the frozen plains, which turned to snow powdered slopes, which turned into snowy hills.

"This reminds me of the Northwest storms of 1996 and 1997," I said absentmindedly, when we stopped at the edge of a cliff and watched a landslide happening miles away on the same cliff edge.

"The what?" Sam asked.

"You wouldn't understand," I said. "The Shire doesn't have anything like it. We had hail, snow, ice storms, hurricane wind speeds, landslides, major flooding, mudslides, torrents of rain, and it was all during one winter!"

"Ghastly," Sam agreed quickly.

"You come from an ugly, despairing world, do you not?" asked Aragorn curiously.

"Some of it is," I said. "Other parts of it are like the Shire. Some are like Mordor. We have an entire continent that is like the peak of Caradhras. It's different all over."

"Sounds incredible," Boromir said from up ahead. I felt more comfortable talking at ease with him, so I trudged a little faster and was soon walking side by side with him.

Suddenly Frodo toppled over and rolled down the hill.

"Frodo," called Aragorn.

Poor little pansy! He just doesn't get a break, does he?

Boromir turned, went back two steps, and picked up the Ring. "It is a strange fate we should suffer so much fear and doubt…over so small a thing," Boromir said, his voice wavering like he was in a trance. "Such a little thing!" he reached out to touch it.

"Boromir!" Aragorn and I said in a commanding voice at the same moment.

Boromir popped out of his trance and went to Frodo, handing the ring to him. "I care not," he said teasingly, ruffling Frodo's hair.

There was a dead silence as we continued.

"Cawkward!" I muttered to myself. I always say "cawkward," when there is an awkward moment. I jokingly call it "Being visited by the Awkward Bird" during those silences.

"What's that?" asked Merry curiously.

"It's…" I stopped. "Look, it's the awkward bird!!!!!!" I pointed to the sky.

"Where?" the hobbits cried.

"Gotcha," I said, laughing hysterically. I began humming Queen's "We will Rock You."

"Can you stop that racket?" asked Gandalf.

"No," I replied haughtily. "Sing with me, Legolas! YOU GOT MUD ON YOUR FACE, A BIG DISGRACE!!!!"

"I am not familiar with this form of song," Legolas admitted.

"Well, I guess that's okay, after all, you are only a Prince of Mirkwood," I teased him. "I will sing by myself. WE WILL WE WILL ROCK YOU!"

"Hush," sighed Gandalf.

I crept up behind Gandalf. "PICK YOU UP AND DROP YOU!"

"If I were not a wizard of good breeding I should turn you into a toad for this behaviour," he snapped at me.

"I'm so scared!" I pretended to gasp and cover my heart.

From that time on, I sang different Queen songs. Everyone else enjoyed it, I think, except for Gandalf. And to be sure that this annoyance ensued, I taught Merry and Pippin how to sing all the annoying songs I knew—like the "Wheels on the Bus go Round" and "Down by the Banks" and others.

The day ended with Legolas taking it upon himself to teach me an elvish song.

"Something to help you wind down for the day," he said quite seriously.

That night I had a dream of an open music book, but inside were all songs of pain and death. It was not at all pleasant.

Wow, I really am Middle Earthish, I even have dreams of meaning and song and future stuff! It got to me, I guess.

And the next day, I decided to teach Merry and Pippin the song "Great Green Globs of Greasy Grimy Gopher Guts".

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**Read and Review, or I will NOT TELL YOU ABOUT MY LITTLE ADVENTURE IN THE SNOW!!! And You KNOW you want to hear about it!**


	9. Blizzard, but NOT from Dairy Queen

**Dear Reviewers,**

**Wow, I was totally surprised with all the feedback! Thanks everyone! And welcome back to Serena Kenobi, she's been gone awhile. **

**Answers to questions:**

**-No, this is not a self insert (giggle giggle). Nate and I are more different than you'd expect, probably, except for exactly TWO THINGS: clumsiness and singing tenor. **

**-No, I'm afraid I won't stop leaving a threat at the end of each chapter lol. It makes me sad when people don't bother to review—but perhaps I will tone them down a little.**

**-Something about the storm of '98 sounds familiar, but I was too young then to know much about anything that wasn't near the Northwest. Now that I'm older and know a few people from that area, I've probably heard it mentioned once or twice. Sounds fascinating.**

**-lol, Spanish I can speak in an elementary way—but spanglish? I don't know lol the dialect sounds a little confuzzling! **

**-Remember, Jesus loves you!**

**LOVE TO ALL MY REVIEWERS, who are a great support,**

**Pip

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**

DISCLAIMER: If I owned LOTR, would I be writing fan fiction??? Well, er, yes, but that's beside the point.

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**Chapter 9, Blizzard, but NOT from Dairy Queen**

There was a lot of snow, and a lot more snow. There was snow there, snow here, and snow everywhere. Did I MENTION there was snow?

I told Gandalf we should go through Moria, but he grumbled and rumbled (the old man must've had indigestion) and told me that Aragorn and he would decide, and he'd rather take his chances on the peak than follow my advice. He said it much more polite than that, of course, but that's what it is—translated into the teenager language we all know and love.

A blizzard came, threatening and howling, and it became so dark it was like black snow—not the cute fluffy stuff you see in a Christmas McDonalds commercial. And the blizzard was not so nice either (not counting the snow) it was cold, icy, windy, absolutely nothing like Dairy Queen, which had been growing in my mind lately. I was craving an oreo blizzard—or maybe an M&M blizzard. The thought made my stomach growl, and the hobbits looked at me like a mangy bear. And considering I couldn't shave, wash my face, or anything, I looked like one.

When we finally reached the mountain bit where Sam says sourly, "If that's shelter, than one wall and no roof make a house," and we curled under its ledge and kindled the fire.

"Finally, we're going to head back," I thought sleepily. "I think it was right about here that Gandalf decides to turn back. Well good for him. He can always get a refund, can't he? Oh, well, guess not. If he had listened to me in the first place…maybe we could even skip his death. The poor old man doesn't need to die, really, I mean—come on—that's one of the worst parts of the movie. It makes me sad, and kinda sleepy. Isn't that funny now? Feeling sleepy, because a movie scene is sad. That's almost as ridiculous as getting hypothermia, or Lizzy Rogers actually going out with me. I bet she wouldn't get hypothermia! It's not like she's stuck on a mountain anyways!"

Aragorn jostled me. "Don't go to sleep!" he commanded.

"Who's sleeping?" I mumbled.

"You are."

"Am not," I suddenly snorted myself wide awake, shaking the snow off of me and shifting so that I had my back straighter. If this rock were my couch, I'd sell it.

Gandalf passed about the little flasky thing, and we all drank a sip. I coughed and spluttered—it was some sort of liquor.

Legolas made his happy little newsflash about "Fell voices on the air".

"You're a fell voice on the air," I snapped back.

"Your MOM is a fell voice on the air!" squeaked Pippin.

"Good job, Pippin!" I shoved his shoulder. "You'd make a great American."

"Stuff and nonsense," Gandalf said.

Eventually, a discussion happened, (one of those boring debates that only adults enjoy) and it was decided to make our way through the mines of Moria.

And as soon as we made our way back down the mountainside, I wondered how mad they'd really be if I started a snowball fight. That's what they do in ALL the other fan fictions I'd read. And since I'm practically in one, I decided, maybe I ought to do something a little different.

I walked slowly till I was the last of the group. Quickly, I knelt and made a snowball. Then I rolled it down with me as I walked, till it grew bigger and bigger. Soon, it was snowman size, bigger than a few basketballs together.

"INCOMING!" I shouted, rolling it down the hill.

It rolled into Legolas's legs first, knocking him forward. It went off him and bowled over Merry and Pippin. Sam and Frodo dived out of the way, so it broke against Gandalf's boots and splattered all over his cloak.

"SCORE!!!!!" I shouted, making the rock on signs with my hands.

"You are an immature, half-witted," spluttered Gandalf.

Boromir was laughing. "Let the lad alone!" he waved off Gandalf's raging. "We've been all more than a bit testy, someone has the right to do something unexpected and cheery!"

"Like this?" Pippin threw a snowball. Boromir ducked and it hit Gandalf square in the nose.

"Hold it," Aragorn said quickly. "We are not out of danger yet! Let us hold to our course, save the merry making till we reach our next camp."

"Dangit Bobby…!" I thought.

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**Sorry so short, I'll make it up in the next chapter. READ AND REVIEW, or thalt shalt…not…um…get any more chapters. MUAHAHAHA.**


	10. Of Pig Latin and Wargs

**Dear Reviewers, **

**Thanks for the feedback, have a fabulous thanksgiving, read and review!!!**

**Pippinator

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**Chapter Ten, Of Pig Latin and Wargs**

That night, we made camp on the brink of this little, surrounded by a crown of upright rocks. In some sort of freaky way, it reminded me of Weathertop. But I didn't remember this part in the movie, so I figured it must have been something skipped over. So, like I do any other time I'm curious about something and will most likely not have my questions answered, I starting singing to myself.

"Go through the crowd. I'm lost and I'm found. And I'm HUNGRY LIKE A WOLF!"

"A wolf?" huffed Sam. "Sounds like 'em around here! How the wind howls!"

Um, sudden flashbacks of a Warg attack on a hill not very unlike this one.

"That ain't the wind," I said.

"Wargs!" cried Gandalf. "We need to keep the fire up all night. Two watches, not just one. Stay in the light and do NOT venture from this circle!"

"But I wanted to go say hi to the Wargs!" I whined sarcastically.

No one paid any attention to me.

"You entertain me, friend," said Boromir, lowering himself next to me.

"I'll be here all week, be sure to tip the waitresses," I laughed.

"It is a funny language you speak—so like the Common Tongue, but so many unfamiliar words."

"I could teach you a language now," I offered. "It's really easy."

"Learn a language? Tonight?" Boromir laughed at my stupidity. "I doubt that possible."

"No, really, it's easy!" I said. "Give me a word."

"Any word?"

"Yeah."

"Let's see…how about…night?"

"Now," I explained professionally. "All you do is take the first letter."

"N."

"Yes, now move it to the end of the word."

Boromir scratched it into the dirt with a stick.

"And then," I continued, "Add 'ay'."

"Ightnay?" Boromir asked quizzically.

"Perfect!" I said. "That's how you speak Pig Latin. Move the first letter to the end and add 'ay'. Very simple."

"Sounds highly odd," Boromir grinned. "Give me something to say."

"How about…Gondor rocks."

"Ondorgay ocksray?"

"That's it," I said, snickering evilly. "Watch this."

Gandalf sat nearby, watching us with growing interest but too far away to hear what we said.

"Gandalf," I called. "Ouyay inkstay!"

Gandalf rolled his eyes and shifted so his back was towards us.

"You stink?" Boromir translated, covering a smile with a mock frown. "That's rather disrespectful. He is a highly appreciated wizard, you know."

"He doesn't like me," I shrugged. "What does he care if I tease him? From the very beginning, he has made it clear that if he had any problem, it would be me."

"And you seem to do a fine job of it."

"Hmm," I said, not liking Boromir's look. "You want me to slow down and be mature?"

"I wouldn't ask it of you to happen overnight," Boromir said kindly. "Only that sometimes you listen. Gandalf may be…shall we say…grumpy, sometimes, but he has wisdom and insight if you only learn from it."

"I listen, all right," I said sourly. "It's my personality he hates. I like to be a goof. I like to make people laugh, so I do dumb things at my own expense to brighten someone else's day. I can't help that I'm clumsy, it's just have no handi-coordination. But it's how God made me, so I use it for my own advantage. I like to make myself feel good by telling myself it makes me lovable. And I like singing, and I have a song for pretty much every occasion. That's just how I am. And Gandalf finds me annoying."

There was a short silence. Darn, I said a whole monologue! What is wrong with me? Middle Earth is really getting to me…

"You've never really opened up like that before," Boromir said.

"Um, sorry." My mind scrambled for something to break the silence. "CAWKWARD!" I erupted.

Boromir laughed and clapped me on the shoulder. (Hmm…I'm seeing a running theme here of 'clapping shoulders').

"You're a good man, Nate," Boromir got up and went to Aragorn.

A good man, hm? Sweet.

Well, at least Boromir likes me. He's a good guy. How come he has to die? He's the nicest of the bunch and made sure I fit in. I find that a good thing.

I tried to shake off such deep thoughts. I didn't like, never have, thinking or talking about problems or relationships. It's too depressing, and I can't handle it. I don't do well with drama, let's put it that way.

"Hey Sam?" I asked Sam, who was munching his potatoes, in my Napoleon Dynamite voice. "Can I have your taters? Are you going to eat those?"

"Yes, I am," Sam said with no room for argument.

Legolas handed me a little tin plate with my food on it. "Here you go, mellon," he said kindly.

I wanted to make a snide comment about calling me a fruity name but restrained myself. "You just called me friend!" I said, surprised.

"You know the Elvish tongue?"

"Well, no, but a few words here and there."

"Well, eat up," Legolas turned away. "We've got a long night ahead of us."

Aw, how nice. He got me some taters. Blondie ain't so bad. He earned a nail file for Christmas.

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We were bothered by the Wargs here and there, but Gandalf scared them away each and every time. And eventually, we went to sleep on the cold, hard ground.

AAAAAND of course, we were awakened by the horrible howling and crying out of Wargs attacking from all sides. I barely slept remembering that something like that was coming up.

I didn't feel scared. I hadn't been taking things so seriously, feeling like I was just stuck in the movie and someone could yell "Cut!" any second. But I wondered vaguely if it was going to be any worse than a video game battle of sorts.

I drew my sword and knocked it clumsily, Wargs diving out of the blade's reach and moving for other people—those easier to take down and destroy.

I ran forward where Merry and Pip were trying to feed the fire and destroy Wargs at the same time. One was leaping at them from behind and the hobbits would have been a tasty meal, but I jumped back and ran the sword through the Warg's neck and chest. It crumpled dead. I killed my first enemy. HOLY COW!

"Wooohhooo!" I gave my own battle cry (right from the 21st century) and destroyed three more. Than I leapt to Boromir's side and stabbed a Warg creeping to him from the left.

The adrenaline was just beginning to pump, making me ready for just about anything. I hacked through two more wolves with two swings and then the fire exploded, sending sparks into the trees and on the hair of the wolves.

Gandalf made the magic fire, or whatever it was, spread like a wildfire and catch on the wargs. We could hear them yelping and fleeing the circle, vanishing into the night.

"And…they're gone." I said dully, wishing I could have gotten a few more and use up some of the energy I'd suddenly had. Now I'd never get to sleep! It wasn't very scary, I'll say that. I think I was meant for battle. The blood was pretty gross, though. Could we do without the blood, special effects department? Por favor?

"Go back to sleep," Gandalf said wearily. "They're gone."

"Good riddance!" cried Sam, comforting poor Bill, who was sweating and shaking all over.

"And SEE YA," I added cheerfully. The hobbits looked at me strangely.

"Buenos Noches?" I tried. They still stared.

"Good night," I finally said.

They all nodded, grinning stupidly, and curled up in their blankets.

"Oodgay ightnay," I said to Boromir.

Boromir was already snoring.

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**READ AND REVIEW OR I WILL SEND A BAND OF WARGS TO YOUR DOORSTEP!!!! (ooh, that's the scariest one yet). **


	11. Moriaphobia and Tentacles

**Dear Reviewers:**

**Welcome to the board, for all you newcomers. Thanks for taking the time to read my story, that's SO cool! Thanks, it's highly appreciated. **

**And for those of you who have been patiently waiting, here's the next chapter about Nate and his adventures! (once again, Nate and Pippin Baggins are different people—just in case some of the new reviewers did not know). Lol. **

**Anyways, Jesus loves you, (remember that!)**

**Pippin Baggins

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**

**Chapter Eleven, Moriaphobia and Tentacles**

I knew what the next step was going to be, and I was not looking forward to it. I mean—a long journey through a dark, dark tunnel??? A person with ADD (namely me) would go absolutely CRAZY! I hoped the Fellowship prepared themselves for some pretty random songs—I'd had some running through my head lately from Mary Poppins, Reliant K, and Toyota commercials. It was obvious, I had Moriaphobia.

The plains settled into rocky foothills, and a sheer cliff towered over our heads, Khazad-dum wall…or something. So I didn't really remember my geography. We went a long time before we reached what Gandalf was looking for, a dry river bed, and a bit of stairs going upwards, till we were walking on thin gravel between the sheer rock and a lake/stream/thing.

"Don't disturb the water," I said loudly.

Everyone looked at me like I had a tree growing out of the top of my head.

We walked along quietly, everyone either deep in their own thoughts or everyone was mad and ignoring everyone else—which probably wasn't the case, so everyone must have been thinking.

"…even if the dwarves have long forgotten the secrets," Gimli was muttering.

"Why doesn't that surprise me?" Legolas said, irritated.

"Come on, Legs," I said. "Lay off the dwarf. They can't help themselves. It must be the abnormal amount of facial hair causing the trouble, I think."

Legolas twisted his face into that funny shape when someone is trying not to laugh. Gimli snorted. "And yours, laddie, is the lack of it."

I felt my chin. What a way to destroy my pride! "I had some," I exclaimed.

Merry and Pippin snickered at each other.

"You've been making good use of those knives, haven't you?" I snapped at them.

"Very little," Merry sniffed, tugging his jacket. "You don't think we'd shave you in the night, do you?"

"I do actually," I said, pointing a finger at them. "And someday when you're sleeping, you'll wake up to find you've got no heads AT ALL!"

Merry just grinned, and Pippin's smile dropped from the face of the earth and his eyes grew wide.

Gandalf rubbed his hand along the wall. "Moonlight," he whispered. "Or mirrored by starlight."

The moon appeared, (thanks special effects department!) and the door to the mine lit up silver against the rock.

"It reads 'The Doors of Durin'," said Gandalf. "'Lord of Moria. Speak, friend, and enter'."

"What the HONK does that mean?" I gasped in falsetto.

"It's fairly simple, if you are a friend, you say the password, and the doors will open."

He thinks he knows eeeeeeverything, silly wizards.

"What are you going to do, then?" asked Pip.

Gandalf responded angrily, "Knock your head against these doors, Peregrin Took! And if that does not shatter them, and I am allowed a little peace from foolish questions."

---

We sat around for fifteen minutes or so, while Gandalf babbled on and on in elvish, drawven, and any other magic words he could think of.

Poor, poor Sam, had to say goodbye to his beloved pony, and cried to himself bitterly. I let him listen to ONE song on my ipod to cheer him up.

"Open Sesame," I tried. "Open Saskatchewan? Open sanctification? Open DOORS?"

Pippin threw a rock in the water.

"PIPPIN!" I shouted, running to him and grabbing his arm. "Do you NOT remember what I said?"

"Don't disturb the water?" Pippin said meakly.

"That's the one," I said seriously. "Now look what you did. The water looks unhappy."

The ripples grew darker and stronger as they lapped at the shore. I knew what was coming, the Pipsqueak didn't. Poor, stupid, fat hobbitses. Pippin took a look at the water and took and step back.

"Wait, it's a riddle," said Frodo, getting to his feet. "What's the elvish word for friend?"

"MELLON!" I yelped, grabbing Merry and Pippin. The doors cranked open.

"Come on!" I shouted, "Everyone inside!"

"What is the hurry?" asked Gandalf.

"Trust me!" I said, grabbing Frodo and pushing him in. Sam was slower, and the Men brought up the rear.

"Slow down, Laddie!" said Gimli. "There is no host of orc at our back."

"I'm not talking about orcs," I said, frowning. "Frodo, get the heck in here now."

Frodo stood three feet into the threshold, taking his sweet time. He took one step forward, was yanked off his feet, and jerked out of the Mine.

"Gandalf!" he cried out. Poor little fellow! He's just so helpless!

I drew my sword and followed Boromir and Aragorn out. Legolas was already shooting arrows into the waving tentacles, slimy and squeaking, wavering over our heads.

I hacked at one of the tentacles, hoping that it was the one that held Frodo. Frodo was dropped from above into the water. Boromir scooped him up, and Aragorn protected them by swiping away any tentacles that came their way. Legolas shot two lucky arrows towards it's ginormous head, emerging from the churning black waters and roaring ferociously.

We barely made it inside before the creatures tentacles reached for us again, and were so large and strong the doors to the Mine collapsed.

"Now we must face a long, dark journey through the mine," Gandalf said ominously.

"A mine?" laughed Gimli. "A MINE! Roaring fires, finest beer, my cousin Balin will bid a most royal welcome, and they call it a MINE!"

"This is no mine," Boromir said, looking about. "It's a tomb."

I already knew this, of course. I tried not to look at the thousands of dwarf corpses that were strewn all over. It was sickening.

"NOOO!" sobbed Gimli.

"Goblins," said Legolas.

"And far worse things than those!" said Gandalf. "Be on your guard. It is a four day journey to Moria. Let us hope we go unnoticed!"

"Going. Into. Stealth. Mode." I said in a robotic voice.

"And PLEASE, Nathaniel," Gandalf growled, "None of your antics, and none of your singing! Song of any sort carries through these tunnels like lightening through a cloud. I must ask you remain completely silent."

I shut my mouth. He had to say that, didn't he? I knew I was going to go INSANE!

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READ AND REVIEW OR...Or Gandalf will get killed by a Balrog. Oh wait, that already happens!

Well, a disaster beyond your wildest imagination will occur!


	12. Darkness, darkness, and more darkness

**Dear Reviewers:**

**Here is the next chapter. I don't have much to say because I have an AUTHOR NOTE at the bottom of the chapter. It's been ACHING to burst out for awhile, so ya'll BETTER READ IT, otherwise I won't post another chapter! MUAHAHA!**

**Pip

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**

**Chapter 12, Darkness, darkness, and more darkness**

The silence was loud and seemed to throb in the air. It was rather annoying. We walked, and walked, and walked through miles of stone after stone after stone—and then more stone. Tunnels, darkness. Tunnels, darkness. It was VERY repetitive!

I seriously was, truly, going insane. I couldn't sing, I couldn't speak much. I wanted to SCREAM to the high heavens and get rid of the creepy feeling hugging me from all sides. Black fingers of—what is it—panic, maybe, gaped from every crumbling doorway. Squeaks of mice grated on sensitive ears.

"Did I ever mention I think I am blessed with claustrophobia?" I whispered to Boromir, sweat trickling down my face. "I feel like if I don't get out I will EXPLODE."

Boromir looked at me. "Nate, I'm terribly sorry you must endure this—torture. But there is nothing to be done. We've gone for a day already, we'll be camping soon."

"The sooner the better," I said, feeling like I should be swatting away darkness or singing "Thriller."

"I need to sing," I whined.

"I won't tell," Boromir said absently, turning away from me.

"Thriiiiiiiiiiiller," I whispered, my poor voice trembling. "Thriiiiiiiiiiiller!"

Gandalf halted ahead. "Hush," he hissed.

Crap, I thought.

"We will stop in that alcove," Gandalf pointed. "That seems a likely spot we can be hidden from the bigger passage."

I continued humming softly to myself. My legs nearly shook with exhaustion. I'd never walked so much in my LIFE!!!!! It would have been easier if I was involved in sports in my old life, but I never was. I never made it to the team. It was the same note to the coach every year: Sorry, but not enough handi-coordination.

I plopped onto the stone, pulled my blanket from my pack, and fell dead asleep where I laid.

It was dark still when Aragorn roused us. It stayed dark for the rest of the morning, and afternoon, and evening. We made our way up some slippery steps at five or something, stopping at an entry to three different tunnel entrances.

"I have no memory of this place!" Gandalf whispered, pure forgetfulness on his face. Poor old geezer. I wondered if I should tell them the right way. It may save time. Although…Frodo DID really need that talk with Gandalf, I had a vague memory of it helping him later on. I guess we should wait. Frodo needs to hear about "All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us" deal.

I laid down again, feeling abnormally sleepy and disgusting (I never thought going without a shower for so long could be so gross, and didn't even smell the BO of everyone else anymore!).

I must have fallen asleep, when Gandalf's voice suddenly cried out, "OH! It's that way!"

"He's remembered!" cried Merry, putting away his pipe.

I stumbled upward and followed them out and down steps.

"No," said Gandalf, putting a hand on Merry's shoulder. "But the air does not smell so foul down here. When in doubt, Meriadoc, always follow your nose!"

We went down the steps and were suddenly in that BIIIIIG hall thing, the city of Darrowdelf.

"That's an eye-opener and no mistake!" said Sam.

I laughed heartily. That's one of my favorite lines, yet again.

"AH!" cried Gimli, running forward.

"Gimli!" shouted Gandalf.

No, not again, I thought wearily. I hate knowing what happens and having, really, no control of it. If I try to change something, it ends up happening anyways, just sooner. What was my purpose of even coming to Middle Earth, if not to change something? Wasn't I supposed to change a course of events or become a OC and fall in love with some elvish girl?

Maybe the change was not to be for Middle Earth. Maybe the change would be for _me_.

And with that thought, I shuddered and followed Gimli.

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**Sorry so short, I have to write a lengthy author's note that YOU ALL MUST READ! It's crucial to my sanity! Well, actually, it isn't, but there we go.

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**

**My dear Reviewers, **

**I've been called "sir" and someone has said it's a relief to find a guy on here. It's been said in a review "You" as if speaking to "Nate". **

**There's nothing wrong with that, really, because in a way it's a compliment—people read my story and automatically think the author is male because (I hope) the story sounds very much like a guy. Well, that's the point, because it IS about a guy. I hope that means I'm just a very good author. **

**I do not give out my gender online, because I suffer from online safety paranoia. **

**I think a lot of you assume because of my penname, Pippin Baggins. Let me explain this. "Pippin", because Pippin _is_ a lot like me but he's my favorite character-------and "Baggins", because _I had a crush on Frodo when I was little_. **

**My original idea was _Mrs. Baggins_ or _Pippin's sister_, but those were taken. And actually, my friend Aaron nicknamed me Pippin first. I think I will let you draw your own conclusions.**

**;-) ****I didn't tell. I just left subtle hints. **

**Now you are all probably thinking I'm whack because I write about guys. Well, this is my opinion: It's hard to write about girls because it is emotional and whatnot, and I AM a --cough-- _tomboy_. **

**When the girls want to do the nails and watch chick flicks, I'd rather climb trees or watch LOTR. In my opinion, boys seem to have all the fun. Carrying swords, climbing trees, exploring, battles, getting dirty—that is why I write like this. And hey, I'm not the only one, either. Louisa May Alcott said the same thing. (I'm writing a paper about her, so I'd know—she wrote Little Women). **

**I just really respect and admire guys, especially the blumbering idiot kinds because I'm like that, my dad was like that when he was my age, and that's why I write stories with guys as the main character.**

**And so, against my better judgment I've disclosed personal info about myself. Enjoy it while it happens, cuz, well, it probably won't happen again anytime soon, lol. **

**Hope none of you have had heart attacks! **

**The Pippinator **


	13. Trolls, Balrogs, and Death

**Dear Reviewers: **

**Hey everyone! Thanks for the reviews, and welcome back ChatterChick. And in answer to your question, I do sing tenor. I can sing Soprano/Alto, but tenor is a little more natural for me because I have a deep singing voice. I know, I'm weird, huh?? Lol. And Welcome to the review board Chibi-Ed, Crecy, and Angel Baggins. ****Gipper, I think we were separated at birth. What size shoe do you wear? ****And thanks to everyone else who has been as faithful and kind as always! Great to see you around scissorhero! (looking back on LOTR spoof days with fondness) I will update that someday! **

**I'VE FINALLY BEEN ALLOWED TO UPDATE!!! YES! I prayed, so, it happened. ;-)**

**Well anyways, here's the next update! Thanks to everyone who has waited patiently!**

**Pip

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**

Disclaimer: If I owned LOTR, Peter Jackson would be directing the Hobbit (coming out in 2009 with PJ NOT as the director) and the Other Mysterious Prequel LOTR Movie that they are making would be really, really, good.

To conclude: I don't own LOTR. and neither do you. Unless New Line is reviewing. Hello...! Put in a good word for me at Disney/Walden Media, please? I'm MEANT to play Jill Pole...Sorry, I'm rambling...

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**Chapter 13, Trolls, Balrogs, and Death**

Gimli rushed ahead of us into a small room. A coffin of stone was in the middle of the room, illuminated by a single beam of light. Gimli knelt in front of it and flat out sobbed.

"Here lies Balin, son of Fundin. He is dead, then," Gandalf said sorrowfully. "It is as I feared."

Boromir put his hand on Gimli's shoulder. Gandalf handed his hat and staff to Pippin and reached down, taking an overlarge book from a corpse's hands.

"We cannot linger!" Legolas said quickly to Aragorn.

"Let's just take the book with us," I said.

"They have taken the bridge," he read out loud, ignoring me. "And the second hall. "We've barred the gates, and cannot hold them for long. The ground shakes. Drums, drums, drums in the deep. We cannot get out." He paused and looked at us in horror, the story of the freakish massacre unfolding before our eyes. "We cannot get out. THEY ARE COMING."

Just then, every single one of us was startled by a resounding CRASH echoing through the chamber and every cranny of the mines. Pippin had knocked something, a skull, I think, into the well.

With it came a bucket, chain, and corpse. It fell backwards into the well, crashing, over and over again, the horrible grating sound against stone after stone.

Then all was silent. Pippin looked so ashamed.

The Fellowship breathed again. Legolas suddenly turned and cocked his head towards the door. He's an elf—I'm sure he hears the bad news before the rest of us.

"FOOL OF A TOOK!" cried Gandalf, ripping his stuff out of Pippin's hands. "Throw yourself in next time and rid us of your stupidity!"

I put a hand on his shoulder. "It was an accident, Gandalf."

Gandalf harrumphed.

A drum went _boom. _

Gandalf turned slowly. Pippin looked down the well. Everyone froze again.

_Boom boom. Boom boom. Boom boom boom boom boom. _

"Let's get out!" I said quickly, drawing my sword.

"Frodo," said Sam, seeing his blue sword.

"Orcs!" cried Legolas.

Boromir ran to the door and looked outside.

"Boromir!" I shouted. He pulled his head back to look at me, just as an arrow pierced the wood beside his ear. He almost smiled and shut the door.

"Don't do that!" I cried. "We have to get out now."

"This is our best defense," said Gandalf, throwing his hat aside and drawing his sword. The hobbit's followed his move.

"Hobbit's, stay close to Gandalf," Aragorn called.

A bellow rang outside.

"They have a cave troll!" Boromir said in mock excitement.

Gimli jumped to the top of Balin's tomb. "Let them come! There is still a dwarf in Moria who draws breath!"

The door broke. Legolas shot an arrow through the hole. A yelp of a pierced orc cried out. Then the door shattered and like an army of bees they swarmed in—stingers ready.

I launched forward and ran my sword through an orc's gut. He squirmed and fell. I leapt aside as a spear came my way and sliced an orc head off neatly. Suddenly there was no pattern, and no fancy swordmanship, only whirling and slicing and surviving. It was all confusion and headache and killing.

Just then, the same bellowing roar we'd heard earlier rang out amid the sounds of clashing, lashing, and bodies crumbling to the floor.

The Cave troll broke through the wall, smashing Balin's tomb and nearly crushing Gimli. Sam was soon cornered by it. Legolas and Aragorn ran to him, gripping the Troll's chains and jerking him back. I ran up and pushed Sam out of the way. While they pulled his neck, and I pierced his cement-like flesh, up the ribs, with my sword. It gasped and swung left, taking out two of his own orcs. Then a few more.

Just then, it swung it's chain at Legolas. Legolas ducked twice, then ran up the chain to it's head, shooting it from above with a foot perched on each shoulder.

I ran around a pillar and killed three more orcs.

"I think I'm getting the hang of this," I heard Sam.

"Sam, are you--" my call was broken with a extremely painful crash to face, a ringing in my ears, and a sudden faintness from hard iron or metal coming in complete pancake-like contact with my skull.

"Oh, Mr. Nathanial, sir, I'm so sorry!"

I blinked once. Then twice. How did I end up on my back? I staggered to my feet and felt nothing but soreness on my forehead, and blood dripping from my nose and lips.

"WHAT'D YOU DO?" I cried. "BOMB MY FACE?"

"Frying pan, sir," Sam apologized, taking out another orc with a "bang".

I stumbled away from his danger zone. Just then, Frodo shouted something and was lifted off the ground by the Troll. I jumped onto it from behind and used it's tail to climb upwards. I stabbed it right where nerves should be running alongside it's spine. It hollered and dropped Frodo, but didn't keel over and have a seizure like I had hoped.

Just then, Aragorn was thrown against the wall and collapsed in a pile of rubble. "Aragorn!" cried Frodo.

Boromir was engaged by three or more orcs. I ran alongside him, spun…like…a Jedi, actually… (woot woot!) and beheaded two of them in one slice. "YES!" I pumped a fist.

Boromir grabbed my shoulder and forced me to the ground just as the Troll waved a spear where our heads had been. Finding us no good, it turned and threw the spear directly into Frodo.

Frodo gave a horrid gasp and slumped the floor in a dead faint.

Everyone else thought he was dead. Merry and Pippin gasped into sobs and leapt onto the troll, stabbing it like needles all over. Sam cried out and ran to his best friends' side. Gandalf and I began to rapidly cut down another orc forest to try and get to that blasted Troll.

Just then, Legolas' best shot ever soared through the air, pierced the Cave Troll's gullet, and up into its brain. It made the sound of a dying walrus and crashed to the floor, Pippin thrown against the wall.

For a moment there was silence.

I ran to Pippin and helped him to his feet. He forgot all about me and ran over to Frodo, holding Merry's arm for emotional support. Or mental support. Who knows.

Aragorn scooped Frodo into his arms, tears running down his weathered face.

"Khazad-dum," Gandalf cried, motioning everyone towards the door.

"I'm alright," Frodo said, gasping.

Aragorn nearly dropped him in surprise and kept running. Merry and Pippin and Sam followed along behind, their faces suddenly wreathed in smiles.

Gandalf suddenly turned and saw Frodo, alive. He stopped and waited for all of us to go through the door before him, smiling at Frodo and Aragorn. I was last in line.

"Gandalf," I said quickly. I knew his time was short, I wanted to fix things. "No matter what happens, I just want to say, I've aaaalways been rooting for you." Wow, did I sound like Jack Sparrow trying to get on Norrington's good side!

"Well, thank-you," Gandalf pushed me through the door. "Now hurry up!"

We ran as fast as we could down the hall, passing by flames erupting from the floor. Wait, I thought we were surrounded by orcs first!

The flames grew and shined red light through the halls. Guess not.

"What is this new devilry?" Boromir looked at the light as he ran.

Gandalf halted and looked at the red flames. He concentrated for a moment.

Everyone came to a halt one by one. Let's get this show on the road, folks! SHEESH!

"A Balrog, a demon of the ancient world," Gandalf said sullenly. "This is beyond any of you. RUN!" we turned again and were on our way.

We went under a low door, into a pass by an entrance of many pillars.

The flames under them grew to abnormal size and blended into the shape of a ram with a mans body, a black head bulged out, opened it's fire-covered mouth, a roared. But it wasn't a sound that came out, but the intense heat and sulfer or whatever that is spewing forth.

We ran away from it, down steps, then ahead we finally spotted the bridge. With relief and smoke billowing from behind, we ran to it and crossed single file, it being much too skinny to hold two.

Gandalf stayed behind.

"Gandalf!" shouted a voice.

Gandalf looked at the Balrog. It's massive soot body crept forward, there was a puff of smoke, and a clawed foot came out of the mass and stomped onto the bridge.

"You cannot pass," Gandalf shouted.

"Gandalf, come on," cried Legolas desperately.

"I am servant of the secret fire," Gandalf shouted to the Balrog in defiance. "Wielder of the flame of Anor." He drew his sword. "The dark fire will not avail you, Flame of Udun!"

The balrog drew a sword of fire and struck Gandalf. Gandalf blocked the blow. The flame sword shattered, leaving the Balrog grumpy and roaring.

Aragorn stepped forward. It was in their faces. They all knew as much as I.

"YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" Gandalf voice went above the Balrog's whip cracking in the air. His staff was struck, and the bridge crumbled under it's weight. The Balrog fell.

Gandalf turned towards us, exhausted. For a moment, everyone had that "happy ending" feeling that everything will be okay after all.

The whip cracked, it's end wrapped about Gandalf's ankle and jerked him off his feet.

"NO!" cried Boromir.

"GANDALF!" shouted Frodo.

Everyone shouted something.

Gandalf's eyes looked merely surprised that he did not succeed. "Fly you fools," he said, and let go, and began the long, long fall down the chasm.

"No!" cried Frodo, struggling to go forward.

"Aragorn," cried Boromir, grabbing the hobbit and hoisting his up the stairs.

It seemed surreal, like in the movie, sights and sounds were halted and we only had a flight of steps to go. We ran up them, barely feeling them under our feet, and were completely blinded by white light erupting in front of our eyes.

We stumbled out, weary and bloody, into the broad light of day.

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**Much longer than normal! As you can see, I thrive on action/battles/adventure parts and they end up much longer. Read and Review, my awesome reviewers! **

**Psalm 23. Look it up. I'm learning it in Spanish, it's pretty cool.**

**El Señor es mi pastor, nada me falta. In verdes pastos me hace descansar. Junto a tranquilas aguas me conduce. Me infunde nuevas fuerzas. Me guía por amor a su nombre…**

**my memory is going… lol…**

**That's all I can remember, dangit, and there was like two more verses of the very first four. Lol. **

**Anyways. Hope you all had a GREAT thanksgiving. (sorry, that's a little late, because it took FOREVER to accept any documents for some random reason)**

**Jesus loves you!**

**---Pippin **


	14. Therapeutic Elves

**Hey Reviewers!**

**Thanks for the compliment, Spaztic Arwen! And welcome aboard, ice princess-not-so-curly etc! **

**Here's the next chapter!**

**Pip

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**

**Chapter 14, Therapeutic elves**

The heat of day was already rising from the rocky ground, and the sunlight made our eyes ache. Everyone one of us—at least us younger folk—plopped onto the ground, wishing we could never move again.

Gandalf's death was, in it's own way, gruesome and more sad that I ever imagined. He had crumpled to the stone, clinging to the rock edge. His arms shuddered, holding himself up, his knuckles were white. And he did not fall like an angel from heaven, he _fell, _really fell, in that twisting turning way like a tragedy story of the travelers falling in the bottomless hole. And the flash of his eyes, of indescribable panic and fear, registered in his eyes just before he cried, "Fly, you fools!" not in the funny way with a puff of gray hair—but the way he said it, desperately, his voice cracking like a nightmarish monster. The look on his face would stick with me forever, I was sure of it.

Blood dripped down from my nose, my split lip, my head swam, black dots hovered in front of my eyes. That was a good quality frying pan, yessir.

The ground tilted towards me. That's weird. Normally people are the ones that fall, but the ground was coming to meet me! That's so nice, very polite…

"Incoming!" I shouted, or at least—tried to shout, before my body made a soft _thump. _

"Legolas, get them up," Aragorn said, his voice thick.

Legolas pulled me to my feet and held my shoulders. "Can you stand, Nathanial?"

"Sure!" I exclaimed, nodding in his direction. "Thanks for the lift."

"I'm over _here _Nathanial." Legolas's voice came from my right.

"Course you are," I said hastily.

"How many fingers am I holding up?" Legolas waved his blurry hand.

"Seven," I said, moving away. "I'm fine. Let's get the hobbits."

"Give them a moment, for pity's sake!" Boromir choked.

"By nightfall these hills will be swarming with orcs," Aragorn said, in a bittersweet sort of way. "On your feet, Sam," he added kindly to the red-faced hobbit.

Pippin lay on the ground, Merry over him, trying to say through his tears, "Come on, Pip, time to go…"

"Come on, buddy," I said, picking him up. I put him on my back, piggy style.

"What happened to your face?" Merry sniffed and wiped his nose, thrusting his hands in his pockets and beginning the march down the hill. Pippin continued to cry softly in my jacket.

"Out of the frying pan, and into the fire, or so they say," I told him. "I was out of the fire and hit with a frying pan. Does this make any sense to you?"

"Possibly," Merry said sullenly, catching up with Frodo, whom Aragorn convinced to come towards us and not wander off alone with no guide.

Frodo was dead silent, his face blotchy in tears. Sam watched him with concern, but soon a red gash across his head bothered him enough to forget Frodo for a time.

My face stung, and I had a migraine, but soon the sun fell and less light calmed it slightly. Gimli tried to take Frodo's mind off Gandalf's death, and showed him Dimrill…Dumrail…Dimleh…something Dale that was very famous in Dwarf Lore.

Aragorn finally halted and took care of Sam and Frodo's wounds at nightfall. He lent me a cloth with some of the Kingfoil weedness (Oh, excuse me, to be politically correct—or just correct in particular—athelas or something).

My face felt much nicer after wiping the blood off, and I was really quite happy when Aragorn informed me that my nose was not broken. That would have been awful.

"So, what did happen to you?" Boromir asked curiously, since there was nothing else to talk about, and no one was ready to speak of Gandalf yet.

"Sam broke my face!" I pointed at the fat hobbit.

Sam looked up from his food, not hearing what we had said, and looked confused.

"Just kidding, buddy," I laughed. "I asked his frying pan out for a date and was rejected."

"Whatever it is you mean," Boromir said, "I will try and make sense of it in my mind."

That ended conversation for the night.

----

The next morning, Aragorn told us we would make for Lothlorien.

"Lochlorthnun?" I said jokingly. "Lothchlorine? Loch…Loth…Lochness? THE LOCHNESS MONSTER?"

"Lothlorien," Legolas said dreamily. "Long have I desired to look upon it's leaves, and to see what is left of my kin in the eastern side of the mountains."

We didn't do much talking, actually, I sang almost the whole way there. I tried to sing "May It Be" but my voice cracked at the high notes. Rather, I tried other sad songs, like "Gollum's Song" (but they didn't know it, haha) and others.

I can skip ahead, actually, (yay for the POWER OF THE AUTHOR! FEAR ME!!!!) and skip the boring traveling parts. When we arrived in Lothlorien, Haldir took us to a few days travel to the center of the wood, where we were to be greeted by Celeborn and Galadriel. (Lot's of time passed, but, well, I skipped it, so sue me, ha!)

By this time, my poor face was fairly normal, other than a green bruise that stretched from the left side of my forehead, over my eye, and down to my chin. A scar stuck out in a thin, white line from my right nostril to the corner of my lip. A rather handsome scar, I might add.

I don't remember, honestly, (I know, I'm sorry, shoot me) much of what Lady Galadriel said to us when she and her husband appeared. She comforted Gimli, and made Sam and Boromir extremely uncomfortable. She spoke to us in our minds, rather. Freaky.

But she was drop dead gorgeous, totally. Long white dress, pale skin, golden hair to the floor, it was pretty amazing. She and her hubby came seriously, like, floating down the stairs to see us. It filled the darker night with a shining light of lavender and white that seemed to illuminate right from them. Her eyes nearly held the reflection of white Christmas lights. (thanks to our special effects department…they ought to get a raise!)

What she said in my head was a different story. It's awkward… (too serious for the cawkward bird) to write it down, but down it must go. She said quietly that, in all I did, I had…(can you HEAR me blushing) I had a hero inside of me aching to burst out. (that's all news to me, really.) And, that no matter how fast I ran, I couldn't escape myself or the shell I'm inside.

I seriously argued with her—a queen of elves—and said that I was proud of being outgoing and showing my feelings. My goofiness, my clumsiness, I didn't hide it at all.

There is maturity, a hero, and a great man inside of you, she said to me. "You have to let him come out."

That's the part of myself I don't know. I feel uncomfortable with being serious. It's my way of life.

"It's not only your way of life," she said, "It's your way of building walls around you so that none can see when you are hurt, lonely, scared, or worried. It will eventually destroy relationships."

I don't know why my first thought was of Lindy. She was the only one who really knew me—problems I had with my parents, my worst freshman year ever, things like that.

Before I knew it, we were sent away. My head hurt again with the thoughts swirling in my full brain.

I wish I could talk to Galadriel again, if she could help me, that is……but with what, I wonder. Now I'm all messed up. Sniff. Pity me.

And review the story, if you please. ;-)


	15. Pricks of Sadness and Pillows

**Dear Reviewers:**

**Well…thank-you, Avalon's Mists. I like being loved. Glad you're enjoying my story! And thank-you for your ever-faithful reviews Laer4572 (they rock!). And thanks for reviewing again, Jousting Elf with Sabre. (hm, what kind of brush??) And scissorhero, thanks again for such kind compliments. Me gusta tu compliments. Lol. **

**Pippin

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**And finally, here is the long awaited…well, not so long, lol, chapter. Yippee!

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**Disclaimer: If I owned LOTR, you'd all know my real name.

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**Chapter 15, Pricks of Sadness and Pillows**

I dragged my feet, feeling exhaustion finally overcoming me, and plopped into a bed that randomly seemed to hop out of a tree trunk. Ha ha. We were actually led into a pavilion, sheets stretched over huge roots delving into the ground, with hammock-soft beds stretched like a tarp between lesser roots.

What Galadriel said to me was rather disturbing. I never really thought there was anything wrong with me, but even as we walked, I suffered from the annoyance of flashbacks. How often had I joked when things were incredibly serious! There were so many times I needed to just listen, and I cracked off another Stephanie Tanner. I remembered a time Lindy had a bad day and wanted to say something, and I wanted her to feel better—so I stuck French fries up my nose and made her laugh, being a typical guy. There wasn't any harm in making her laugh, but still, she had just wanted to talk, right?

Galadriel was right, in a way. I didn't like serious things and built a wall. And the fact she had to bring this up was annoying. I mean, Middle Earth was an escape from the real world, right?

I turned on my side in the comfortable bed. Boromir was in another close to mine, and he too, seemed depressed.

"Galadriel brings up a lot of stuff we wish she hadn't, huh?" I said.

"Yes, to put this lightly," Boromir said, his voice gruff.

"I know how you feel," I said, putting my arms behind my head and staring at the stars, which shone through the transparent lacey sheets.

"She spoke of my family," Boromir said quietly. He propped his head up on one elbow. "What of your family? I've long been curious, you never speak of them."

"My family?" I said, stumbling over the words. "Well, I guess I miss my sister a little. She is in college—that's an important four years of schooling—but she is always there so I didn't see her much. My parents are just, parents. They say hi. They hug me, ground me, whatever."

Boromir shook his head. "I have my own troubles with my father."

"So I've heard."

Boromir nodded slightly. "Do you miss your parents?"

"I don't know," I couldn't figure out why my throat was feeling thick. I couldn't be getting teary. I don't cry. "I haven't seen them, in like, months, so…"

"I know what you mean," Boromir turned his back to me, then flipped again.

"Uncomfortable?" I asked.

"Restless, more likely," Boromir assumed my position and looked at the stars for a moment himself.

"I'm really tired, I'm going to turn in," I said in a saddening silence. His questions were true. I missed my sister. As much as I argued with my parents before, I missed them too. I missed Lindy, James…

"Turn in?"

"Go to sleep."

"Ah."

I turned over and laid for a moment, my head slowly sinking into the goose feather pillow. It smelled like lavender. And suddenly, a bit of the pillow was wet.

I wiped my face and turned again. For HEAVENS SAKE, I have ADD for crying out loud—the one time, ONE TIME, I want my attention diverted and to think of something else, nothing captures my attention. For someone who can spaz out like me, why couldn't I get my mind off…memories, perhaps, and just go to sleep.

"I'm really emotional," I groaned loudly. "This is annoying!"

Sam's voice began reciting his own lament to Gandalf nearby. The Elvish singing was pretty, and I hadn't noticed it before. It lulled, breeze-like, over the tent.

"That is not unlike anyone else here," said a voice kindly. I peeked open a blurry eye and saw Frodo was sitting close. He looked at the floor. "When the traveling slows down, and we get to rest, we think of things we oft put at the back of our waking minds."

"Too true, too true," I said in an owlish voice.

"We are all grieving for Gandalf," Frodo said, "And the Lady Galadriel said many things of…emotional…nature. We're all at the same level, Nathanial, but it's okay."

I nodded. "Thanks buddy."

"Don't mind the tears," Frodo said.

"It's not like none of us have cried before," Pippin piped up.

"I ain't crying," I wiped my face again. "I'm allergic to pillows."

Pippin giggled. "Tell me something funny, Nathanial, I'm in need for a laugh."

"Really?" I propped my head on one elbow. I thought back to Galadriel's words. But this was different. He was asking for a laugh, in a comforting way.

"Well," I pulled my pillow out from under me. "This one time, I dreamt I was eating a marshmallow."

"What's that?" asked Pippin.

"It's a big, white, fluffy dessert that you can eat, pod-sized," I explained. He nodded.

"Anyways, I dreamt I was eating one."

Pippin nodded, leaning forward.

"And when I awoke, my pillow was gone!" I grinned.

Pippin jerked back, his eyes wide, laughing softly. "Really?" he finally said in-between laughs.

"You decide," I leaned back and shut my eyes, throwing my pillow at him. "Have another. Like I said, I'm allergic."

Hobbit were used to more pillows, I supposed, considering Merry propped all his belongings under one pillow to prop it up, and Frodo's had his against a trunk. Sam was stuffing a blanket under his.

Laying flat, relaxing my soar muscles and feeling my bruised face, I soon fell asleep and slept contentedly. I dreamed I was eating a marshmallow. At O Dark Thirty, I awoke and found my pillow missing. Thinking I was dreaming, I felt my stomach, but it seemed normal size. Remembering I'd given it to Pippin, I laughed to myself and slept again, like a rock, (song cue: old Toyota commercial, OOOOOh like a ROCK!!!!)

…and did not wake again till morning.

And when I wake up tomorrow, I'd love to find some more reviews. YOU KNOW THE DRILL!


	16. La Mirror De Galadriel

**thanks so myuch for aLL THE reviews. sorry my spelling is so crummy, i am trpying typing in the dark. read ans review! and her is the long aWAited chapter!q **

**God loves you all!**

**Pippanator

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disclakimer: i do not own lotr, if i did...u know the sgof story**

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**Chapter 16, La Mirror de Galadriel**

We stayed in Lothlorien for a long time—time I quickly lost track of. But then again, I wasn't so hot at keeping track of the time anyways, so it was no surprise. Time seemed to slow down, or stop altogether, or cease to exist whatsoever.

But by the time I saw Galadriel motion for Frodo to join her one night, I was surprised how quickly time seemed to have flown—I remembered that not soon after he saw the mirror, we went out onto the Great River…the Anduin, I think.

I guess it was kind of mean for me to spoil Frodo's fun, but I snuck along behind him and Sam and followed them to the grassy dell where the bowl/mirror thing was perched in the rock.

Galadriel gave me a look, like, "Is your name Frodo?" then seemed to change her mind, and smiled, and said, "So you have decided to join us?"

"Yup," I said, quite serious. The long stay in Lothlorien made me want a glimpse of something—anything—about home or about the journey ahead. What's wrong with that, I dunno. Probably nothing.

You all know what happens when poor Sam looked into the mirror, or maybe you don't, if you've only seen the movie. He saw his beloved Shire in ashes, and the Party Tree cut down, and his Bagshot Row is gravel. He wanted to cry, murder Ted Sandyman, or something. In the end, the fat fellow chose to follow his boss. (aka Mr. Frodo).

Galadriel told me I should go next. Well, if she wants to change the order, that's fine. She's kind of the head honcho elf, anyways.

I looked in the mirror. First it was all black, like it had been swallowed. (Don't ask me where that came from, I feel like giving a Tolkienish description).

Then, it began to light up. I saw several rooms, like the kitchen at my house, my bedroom, the movie theatre where I spent my last minutes with my friends.

Suddenly there was a splash, a red soaked into the picture and covered it all over—like blood. It was totally gross. The blood seeped away slowly, and a face appeared, looking directly at me. It was my mom.

"Good heavens," it looked like she was saying. (There is no sound).

Another face. My friend James. His mouth dropped open, and he stared at me open-mouthed. Lindy appeared. She looked incredibly worried, her mouth moved as if she were saying, "You'll be okay!"

"Can they see me or something??" I asked in a whisper. Galadriel shook her head once. No.

They all disappeared, and I saw school. I was all alone, and I pulled a small object from my backpack. A small leaf broach, entwined with silver, came from the pocket.

Then it went dark, till the reflection of my face, the moon, and the upside-down trees appeared. It was empty of anything but magic water and a reflective base.

I stepped back, feeling relatively—shaken, or interested, or both, I don't know—and grinned. "Well," I said finally. "That was an adventure." Oh, shoot me, I just quoted from the Princess Bride. Actually, take that back, it's a good movie.

"Look's like I'm going back," I said somberly.

"Perhaps," Galadriel motioned for Frodo to come close. "Now it is your turn, Elf-friend."

"I think I'm gonna turn in," I took a step backwards. If I can avoid seeing an Elf going completely insane over a bit of jewelry, a hobbit contending with a flaming eye leaping out of a bowl of magic water, I will.

I made my way back to where the rest of the Fellowship rested. Legolas was nowhere to be seen, he often wandered off to go exploring or visit his elvish buddies.

"Where were you off to, laddie?" asked Gimli curiously.

"Just looking in a mirror," I said nonchalantly.

"Where did ye find a mirror 'round here?"

"You'd be surprised, Master Dwarf," I chuckled. "It wasn't so frightening as I thought. I shaved, and my scar doesn't look so bad," I rubbed my chin. "Not so bad at all."

Gimli shook his pipe at me. "You worry about your looks a little much, lad. In the end, your looks aren't going to matter."

"I don't want to frighten everyone when I go home," I said, laughing.

"You're going home?" Aragorn's quiet question made me realize how sad that had sounded.

"I don't know," I said. "I may. Gandalf understood it—the randomness, I mean. I was planted here very randomly."

Aragorn gave a faint smile at the remembrance. He muttered something about "a ranger caught of his guard" and chuckled.

"I could be whisked away randomly," I continued, leaning back on a stump and putting my feet up on the log. "But I won't say I want to go."

-----

I knew we were leaving. The morning held a hue of mist, the sunlight came very early in the day, looking like a mid-morning twilight. "Goodbyes" were in the air, in a manner of speaking. (That certainly was Gamgee of me.)

I got up much earlier than normal, (roughly four-thirty in the morning) and found the sun was already coming up. It does that in Mexico, too. Elves were bustling about, much quicker than usual, (normally they seem to float along) and collecting small packets, bags, etc, and putting them in boats.

I took an early-morning walk in the fresh, winter-like air and watched the elves working at the river banks, stocking us up with supplies and such. Eventually I saw a few of my friends coming to and fro, like Sam, Merry, Pip, and Legolas.

"G'Day to the lot of ya!" I shouted in an irish accent. Several elves looked at me like I was an invading dragon. "Anyone up fer a pint?"

"Oh, me!" cried Pippin, nearly tripping in his enthusiasm.

A threw a handful of water towards him, not a pint, of course, but about a quart roughly. He spluttered, stumbled down the bank onto a tiny gravel beach I found (only about three feet white and six feet long) and scooped a teeny-tiny handful of water and tried to get me back. Hobbit hands. Faugh! They don't do much damage.

I challenged him to a race back to camp (I won) and offered to help carry things down to the boats.

----

It was surprising when we were already set, inside the boats, awaiting to take off. Pippin and Merry confessed they'd eaten _lembas _bread, and, well, we all know what Pippin did afterwards. I nearly called for a gas mask.

We rowed not very far, but out of the mist tree-laden bank, and out into a sunny spot when Galadriel motioned us to shore to join her in one last feast. It was nice to sit around and eat and drink, and talk soberly of things before the serious part really started. With a ping, and a horrible ache inside, I remembered Boromir's death drew near. I didn't want him to die. He was the nicest guy, my personal favorite. He was the one that "adopted" me as a little brother. He always hung around to talk, and if I did something "naughty" he never told Gandalf. He was so cool, the older brother I never had. I don't even think he realized how important he was to me. Older brothers, friends, are so influential and supportive. A guy just can't get along without a good brother.

----

I shook myself out of my thoughts. Galadriel was handing out the gifts. It was exciting—I could predict everything else from the book, but not what I was getting from Lady Galadriel. I felt like a giddy kid on Christmas. A hobbit about to get food. Or a Jedi with his very first lightsaber!_ That was random. How did I ever think of that. ADD, perhaps? Well, it explains everything, else, so…like my insanity. Haha. _

Read and Review or I won't tell you all what she made for me. MUHAHAHA! And You can't go look in the books to peak ahead! SO THERE!!!!!


	17. Loss

**Dear Reviewers:**

**nino twilightstar1400:** Thanks for reviewing! The story gets much better as it progresses, I promise!

**Alenor Peredhel** Hey, thanks for another awesome review. Here is the answer to your questions, muahaha…

**Jedi X-man Serena Kenobi** Well, it's good see your stories updated! Now I can sleep at night! Lol jk. I'm so glad your enjoying this story. I'm planning to update that SW story of mine eventually, too……..

**ScissorHero:** Aw thanks so much. I'm so pleased you like this, er, gusta this so much, lol. (I find the Spanish language so fascinating!! I hope to take some Spanish college classes and become fluent!) Enjoy this chapter!

**Laer4572**: Hmmm, I know it sounds cruel, and I AM very tempted to change the history, but I'm afraid…as you put it…I'm going to have to bite the bullet.

**Angel Baggins** Oh, thank-you very much, I appreciate it. I just read chapter seven on your story, lol. I love doing this whole reviewing bit, this website is so fun…

**ponysteph15**OH NO! THE EYEBROW OF DOOM! Have mercy, mercy… Well anyways I hope you enjoy this liddel chappie!

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**Disclaimer: If I owned LOTR, I'd be Tolkien, who is in fact, dead. Which I'm not, because I am currently alive. stops, confused Seems I've dug myself a hole and fell in…………………….

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**Chapter 17, Loss**

The river wafted by slowly, its calm blue and green waves lapping the sides of the boat. The golden trees of Lothlorien had long faded away, and we were days into a bleak, gray, river journey. I was in the boat with Legolas and Gimli, who were discussing in low, thoughtful tones of Galadriel's gifts to them.  
I smiled thoughtfully, opened my pack, and pulled her gift out. It was wrapped in fine, blue cloth that nearly sparkled. Inside was a necklace, made of fine, masculine chain, and hanging from it was a single stone. It shone green, in the shape of a diamond. Frodo hinted that it may even turn blue, very much like Sting, when Orcs were near. I wasn't too sure, but it was highly likely—I mean, this elvish stuff, you can never be to sure of.

I'll never forget her face when she handed to cloth to me. "May it remind you of what you learned," she said, smiling, her eyes lighting up. "And what you will become, and what lies ahead. You cannot guess it's powers, but they will aide you when you least expect it."

"Thank-you, Ma'am," I said, stumbling over my words. I'd planned to say "M'Lady" like everyone else, but I completely forgot! Foot in mouth, foot in mouth…

"We'll pull on the western bank tonight," Aragorn called out. It was dark out, nearly nighttime, and we'd past the magnificent statues that afternoon. I felt a very sick feeling in my stomach. The time was coming near. The Fellowship would break. Where would I go after that?

Long ago, I planned I'd help Aragorn and Gimli and Legolas track the hobbits. They were my buddies, and I'd go help them when they were captured. I would prevent that, but if it was prevented, the Ents would never take down Isengard, Rohan would be crushed at Helms Deep (which would result in all our deaths anyways) so I thought, sadly, I'd have to let it pass and not interfere with future events.

Suddenly the boat lurched.

"The Falls of Rauros!" cried Legolas.

"The rapids," I called, grabbing an extra paddle.

"Get to the western shore!!!" shouted Aragorn.

I could feel the rocks scraping the bottom of the boat, trying to rock us into the rapids. But the boats of Galadriel stayed true, and carried us to shore safely.

"The River is swifter than I thought," moaned Aragorn. "We have already come to our destination. I'd hoped for at least another night of river passage."

I knew how he felt. Sitting in a boat was much easier than trekking over the shore. When it came to going to the bathroom, well, I won't go into that. We camped at night on shore, but we planned on sailing through this particular night.

And already, we were at the point of no return. We dragged the boats up and plopped our supplies at the tree's edge, a makeshift camp. I was on first guard and did not sleep till nearly one, then awoke Legolas for his watch, then fell into an uncomfortable sleep. I kept telling myself I was dreaming. I would like to wake up before Boromir died. Maybe by avoiding it, it would never happen.

But I guess, when it comes down to it, God has a reason for everything—even a trip to a fantasy world of the imagination worthy of a fan fiction site. (Though I'd like to take out the fiction part).

I slept a dreamless night, and when I woke up, the sun was shining dimly through the clouds.

---

"I've slept late," I sat up quickly, throwing my blanket from me.

"We all did," Merry sat near me, munching a bit of potato. "No worries. We've just been having a…a…"

"Debate," said Pippin all knowingly.

"You don't even know what that is," Merry teased good-naturedly.

"I do too," Pippin shot back.

"Oh, enough fighting," I snapped. They looked at me, surprise registering.

"Sorry," I said quickly. "I mean, sounds like there's been plently of arguing already, that's what I meant—yeah, that's it. Um, anyone got a spare pair of socks? Or a fake mustache?"

Pippin laughed. "What are you talking about? Is that from that sickness thing—the ABC or something?"

"ADD," muttered Gimli.

"Who cares," I threw my hands up, stood and stretched out my achy muscles. "Anyone want to hear a joke?"

"Sure," Merry said. Sam sighed exasperatingly.

"What do you call a blonde elf in a wheelchair?"

Considering no one knew what a wheelchair was, they all shook their heads.

"Legless!" I replied, giving a forced laugh. No one needed to see my mood. I did not what them to know what was to come. If they can have two last minutes of happiness, I can give it to them.

Merry and Pippin laughed anyways, even if they didn't get it, but they knew it referenced Legolas.

Legolas hurrumphed and leaned back against a tree. "I've got a 'joke' as you call it."

Merry and Pip were all attention.

"What do you call a _cello-nich majle opruj?" _

Merry and Pip only stared.

"Nathanial," Legolas burst out in elf-ish chuckles to himself.

"That wasn't even elvish!" I accused, trying to laugh. "You just made that up!"

Legolas smiled. "Alright, well, I suppose I do not know this art of telling…jokes."

"Where's Frodo?" Merry said suddenly.

----

The words were barely out of his mouth when chaos ensued. I took off running. It was Boromir's last moments on earth, and I haven't been able to even say goodbye. I had to find him. I had to find him and tell him goodbye…

As far as I knew, the fellowship broke apart, scattered in different directions.

I stumbled into another clearing, seeing some old stone ruins. Something suddenly ran into me. It was Frodo, I knew, but I couldn't see him. He dodged me and ran the other way. Tiny leaves fluttering from his footfalls was the only way I could tell.

Boromir was kneeling on the ground, nearly eleven feet away, shouting streams of curses and oaths. His eyes gleamed, his hair was wild, and he looked dangerous.

I myself hadn't expected him to look like he did—pale and fiery like a beast.

Then I did something I did not expect.

I ran forward, grabbed his shoulder, and threw him a punch hard in the stomach.

It looked like Boromir suddenly "awoke". When the stun was over, he gaped at me.

"Nathaniel?" he asked shortly, breathing hard. "What have I done? Where is Frodo? FRODO!" he suddenly shouted, leaping to his feet.

"I must say I'm sorry!" he exclaimed. "Where has he gone?"

"You'll never see him again!" I shouted, stepping back. "Don't you get it? It's over. Frodo's leaving the fellowship. You know it."

Boromir stared at me. "What did I do? Why---"

"Don't ask me," I threw my hands in the air, begging the Above I wouldn't lose it. "You were tempted, dangit. I'm sorry I hit you. But you just needed to snap out of it."

Boromir's next words were cut off by the sound of battle just over the hill. Pippin and Merry's high voices carried over the breeze.

We both drew our swords and ran towards the sounds.

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READ AND REVIEW OR I WON'T WRITE ANYMORE!!! Ohhh, gotcha, muhahahaha. 


	18. The Beginning of the End

**Thankyou everyone for your AWESOME REVIEWS! I was so excited to post this chapter for you guys. Your the best reivewers I have. You rock, what can I say???

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****Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR, but I own the dvd's. haha.

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****Warning: Contain's battle sequences, may be slightly graphic for anybody under the age of eleven.** **Tear jerker.**

**Ye have been warned.**

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**Chapter 18, the Beginning of the End**

Boromir and I flew over the crest of the tree-laden hill, coming upon a sickening sight. Young Merry and Pippin, armed with small daggers, were trying to fend off the most hideous beasts we'd seen yet. Like the orcs, they were crude and troll-like, but broader and more horrifying. They were bearing down on the poor hobbits with massive weapons.

Boromir and I gave a cry and hurled ourselves down, our swords gleaming in patches of sunlight as we sliced right and left, cutting down a wall of Uruk-Hai around us. We leapt over the dead bodies of the latter and plunged our blades into another onset. They growled and groaned and appeared from every side, the stream of them getting thicker by the second.

Boromir pulled his horn from his belt, and gave a ringing blast from it's depths. He sounded it again and again. The Uruk-Hai stopped, stumbled back, and looked fearfully to the trees—as if expecting our own army to emerge. No one came. Aragorn and Legolas and Gimli were, somewhere, fighting for their own lives. Sam and Frodo were on their way to Mordor by now.

The Uruk-Hai, black and smiling evilly, knew no help was coming for us. They plunged into battle again.

My arms were growing tired. Boromir was still fighting brave and strong. Like ants in an ant hill, the enemy grew larger and spread out farther and farther.

Suddenly Boromir fell to his knees, an arrow piercing his upper chest. With a horrible realization, I saw another already embedded in his stomach. He'd already been shot down once, and he still continued to fight—so much so I hadn't even noticed!

Merry and Pippin were clustered near us, using their daggers as much as they could, and throwing large rocks at the heads of helmet-less Uruk-Hai.

Suddenly a third arrow whistled past my own ear and sunk into Boromir's middle with a sickening sound. He fell to his knees. Several orcs ran to take advantage of his fall, but they never reached him. I cut them down before their stench could reach Boromir's nostrils.

Sweat, tears, or whatever poured down my face, so much I could barely see. A blur was coming towards me. The black beast, the captain or something, raised his sword high above his head.

I raised my own blade to counter the assault. My hands were drenched with clammy sweat of fear and adrenaline, making the sword be knocked clean from my hand. I tried to dodge the Uruk's broad-bladed, rusty weapon.

Suddenly he lurched forward. I felt like he had only punched me in the stomach, like something was wedged against me. I looked down.

He was pulling his sword _out of my stomach_—the blade was covered in my own blood.

Black dots swam in front of my eyes.

The Uruk cackled and raised his sword again, but was suddenly thrust aside by a blonde-haired elf. Legolas jumped nearly into him, drawing his knife across his throat before it had time let out one more grating laugh.

I crumpled to the ground, wrapping my arms around my middle.

"Get up," I told myself. "Get up, get up…"

I didn't even see Pippin and Merry captured.

But I could hear their terrified screams.

Blood was seeping from my gut and soon covered my entire middle and arms. My mind went into a muddle and I couldn't concentrate.

"Darn ADD," I thought, my eyes squinting because the sunlight felt sharp against me. I tried to focus. Aragorn was only a flash of brown, from left to right.

I almost wanted to laugh. So this was what her mirror meant, that elf queen? I was going to die in Middle Earth and simply not exist in the old one? I'd told Lindy, "If I disappear, I'm not dead." Well, wrong about that, right?

The trees before me slanted, and tilted, till they bent in awkward positions, till I could see their sunlit tops right above me. Oh, of course, it's because I'm on the ground. I fell? I didn't remember falling.

I suddenly felt like I was waking up. The blurry images around suddenly came into sharp focus. Aragorn was in the heat of battle. Gimli and Legolas were fighting some distance away. Boromir had fallen back and lay gasping on the ground.

"Get up, get up," I repeated to myself. The pain started pricking uncomfortably at me, then suddenly accelerated and felt like fire. Somehow it pumped me to raise myself—on my elbows, and crawl towards Boromir.

"That was quite a fight you put up," I said, surprised at how hard it was to speak. My voice sounded like a three-month cold and cough. Waves of rolling pain rocketed inside.

"I'm proud of you, Nathanial," Boromir choked out quietly. "No matter how this turns out. You fought like a man. You behaved like a man."

"You too," I gasped, my lungs felt like they were being squeezed. What a stupid reply. "So this is what it's like—dying, I mean."

Boromir's hand twitched in pain. "I can't really see you."

"I'm on your left," I said, finally giving up on keeping myself propped up. I rolled over and lay staring at the tree-tops again.

"What makes you think you're dying?" Boromir suddenly said, surprisingly loudly.

I groaned out loud with a sudden increase in pain. "I've got a sword wound in the gut." I wished I could have said goodbye to Mom, Dad, my sister, Lindy…

Suddenly vision was darkened again. Aragorn stooped over me, pressing a cloth to my wound. "Hold it there, Nathanial. You'll be okay. Hold on for a moment longer."

His words faded away.

He went to Boromir, and Boromir began speaking quickly in rushed tones, trying to fit in his last words to him. Aragorn tried to calm him.

Legolas was near me. "Can you hear me, Nathanial?"

Well, yes, I could. I opened my mouth to speak. No sound emerged.

"I'm dying," I thought horribly. My thought suddenly brightened. Well, either lay here and suffer, or go see Jesus. I think I'd be getting the better end of the deal.

"Nathanial!" Legolas said softly. "He's gone, Aragorn."

No, I'm not, I wondered at him for thinking this. He was a smart guy. I wasn't dead yet.

The sky went dark. Things blackened to an open void. I felt like I was falling through a black pit. Wait, this wasn't right, I was going to heaven, not the other way around!

The ground built up under me, in the shape of a seat. It grew comfier, till I felt almost—almost—at ease.

The blackness was all around still.

I was sitting upright, staring ahead, in some sort of chair. I looked down at myself, wishing I could see what I looked like. I moved slightly, and still felt horrible pain in my gut.

So, I'm not dead, just unconscious.

Why did it feel like I was wearing jeans and a T-shirt?

Suddenly, lights erupted everywhere.

I was in the movie theatre. Credits were rolling.

All my friends were standing at my left, waiting for me to get up and move so they could get out into the aisle.

"That was a good movie, huh, man?" someone asked. I looked at them, in complete shock.

"It's over?" I asked. "Already?"

"What'd you do?" laughed another. "You fell asleep, didn't you, Nate!"

"Did I…" my voice trailed off. I was in my old clothes, sure enough. I felt something in my pocket—it felt like a chunk of lembas bread. Galadriel's necklace still hung from my neck.

Blood was soaking through my shirt.

"Dude, are you okay?" someone touched my shoulder.

I felt woozy. It looked like the electricity was going on and off.

"Oh, God, what happened?"

"Someone call 9-1-1."

"That's disgusting, Nate, what the heck did you do?"

The last thing I remember was the realization hitting me. I'd been gone for roughly "two hours" which were what, six months or something in Middle Earth time?

And I'd come back to Earth, battle wounds and all!

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**READ AND REVIEW OR I…I…hm… I'll just go back to Middle Earth! Uh…yeah….that's a real good one.**

**Pip: Read and review or I shall bestow the honor upon you of never reading this story again!**

**Nate: Good one!**

**You know how it goes, that purplish button right there**

**Right there**

**Yeah, right below this…**


	19. A Visit to the Emergency Room

**--Hey everybody!**

**--Thanks for the totally awesome reviews! We're waaaaay past a hundred now, let's make it to a hundred and thirty! I was so excited to post this chapter, and I'm really excited to tell you what happens next. **

**--And no, this is NOT the end of the story. I have so much more I want to tell:-) **

**--And I'm sorry to sound blunt and mean: But PurpleCherrysodapop, I must ask you to refrain from any offensive language on the review board, please. I appreciate your enthusiasm more than you know. But, I want this to be a clean review board so that younger kids can read my stories in a friendly-enviroment. It does not offend me as much as I'm worried some other people won't want to hang around here. Thank-you for reviewing and considering my request! **

**--Anyways, on a lighter note, how's everybody's Christmas season going? Enjoying the holidays?**

**--Jesus is the Reason for the Season!**

**--Pip

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**Chapter 19, Visit to the Emergency Room**

Shapes wavered around, like distorted people, supporting my weight and leaning me up against the wall.

"We called 911, and they're sending an ambulance."

"Why not just get me Shadowfax and I'd go faster," I mumbled, leaning my head back and not wanting to open my eyes. I'd seen enough of my own blood.

"Wow, Nate," someone said. "You could die for blood loss and you're still making jokes. You amaze me."

I had been perfectly serious! But no, I wasn't in Middle-Earth anymore, was I?

"Keep talking to me, buddy."

"About what," I said, opening one eye. I lay against a wall in the cinema lobby. Anxious people stared, bug-eyed, as they walked by. A few workers stood nearby with walkie-talkies.

"What happened in there?" James asked.

"I don't know," I said.

"Did someone stab you?"

"No, the popcorn just burned a gaping hole in my middle!" I groaned. "Yes, I think I was stabbed, or…something."

"Was it someone who is still in the theatre? The police are coming too, I think, locking down the place or something. If we have an attempted murder on our hands--"

"Oh, it was murder all right," I muttered. "Whoever it is—he's gone. He left long ago."

Better make "him" disappear, and fast. Would they believe an orc stabbed me? No, probably not.

I opened both eyes and wiped sweat from them. A parent with two small children walked by, the children looking terrified.

"Don't try this at home, kids," I said loudly, trying to force a laugh. My stomach heaved and I nearly lost my last meal of lembas bread and chunk of potato.

"Just stop talking," someone said.

James patted my arm sympathetically. "Don't worry, bud, the ambulance is here."

----

There was a lot of white. Not just _a…lot…of…white_, but white white white everywhere. White people, white lights, white bed, white walls.

_I'm dreaming of a white Christmas…_

I wanted to go back to Middle Earth and finish the journey I'd begun.

_Just like the ones I used to know._

Last thing I had seen were the trees. So much for tracking the hobbits or fighting at Minas Tirith.

_Where the tree tops glisten, and children listen…_

Oh, and the return of Gandalf! How cool to see that, and the looks on their faces!

_To hear sleigh bells in the snow…_

I was bored. That would explain random songs with the word "white" in them were stuck in my head.

I turned my head and noticed a bushy-bearded doctor bustling about.

"Can I have my cell phone?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Por favor?"

"No, it isn't allowed. Besides, your parents are on their way. They can make any calls for you."

"Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?" I decided to ask randomly. I just did ten minutes ago, and it wasn't as cool as I thought. It was crowded.

"No, I work for the emergency room section, kid. Can you tell me your name?"

"Nathanial," I said, using the elvish accent by pure accident. Its how Legolas and Aragorn always pronounced it, anyways. I was used to it.

"When's your birthday?"

"Um, it says so right there on your clipboard thingy, because I already told you that a million times—and it's not a head injury."

The doctor suddenly looked at me. "No head injury?"

"Well, no," I said, confused. "But I'll get one if this goes on any more."

"I think I'm in the wrong room," the doctor hurried away.

"Well that's just great!" I felt foolish in that stupid hospital bed, anyways, and a quack doctor was questioning me, and I wasn't even his patient. What was the world coming to? I want to go back to Middle Earth……….

----

"Hey superman," said a teasing voice quietly. A round, pale face peeked around the door.

"LINDY!" I exclaimed, sitting up, wincing with the ache. "Come here!" I opened my arms wide.

She ran over and threw her arms around my neck. "How are you doing, bud?" she asked.

"Much better now that you are here," I said, smiling ear to ear. I hadn't seen her in what, five, six, seven months?

"So what happened?" Lindy stepped back.

"I don't know!" I grinned.

She frowned. "You don't know?"

"Nope," I smiled. "Fell asleep during the movie, and woke up bleeding all over. Great, huh?"

"Not really," she smiled rather ruefully. She twisted her dark hair into a curl thoughtfully. "When can you get out of this place?"

"Well," I shrugged, "I think they said I can go home with my parents. They cleaned and dressed the wound, and gave me some painkillers, and so on and so forth…"

Lindy nodded carefully. She frowned and sat down, avoiding my gaze and examining the room.

"What?" I asked. I knew that look. She was my best friend—she can't hide anything from me.

"Nothing," she said quickly.

"What…is…it?" I drawled.

"Just this," Lindy's eyes darted towards me. "I don't believe your story. I can tell when you're lying."

"Who, me?"

"You were lying through your teeth with that little innocent 'I don't know'."

I looked towards the door. No one was there.

"Plus," Lindy added quickly. "You called me at roughly…eight o'clock. And you said some peculiar things."

I couldn't quite remember what I'd said, but it was something about "not dying" if I happened to disappear. Yeah. That was it.

"Uh huh," I said.

"I called in sick to come here," she said, checking her watch. "It's about fifteen after ten now. What happened during those few hours? I know you're hiding something. And I want to know."

"You won't believe me."

"Yes, I will."

"No, you won't."

"Nate, stop, I will too. If you'll hurry up and explain yourself."

I glanced around again and leaned as far forward as I could without hurting myself. "Do you believe in other worlds?"

"Wow, you sound like you're out of a sci-fi movie," she said, her eyes glimmering with curiosity, or anger, or both. "Perhaps. Depends on what you tell me."

"You are going to be soooooooo jealous," I grinned evilly. "You Lord of the Rings fan, you."

She gave a half-smile. "I know, I know, I'm a LOTR nerd, but--" she suddenly stopped and leapt to her feet. "You didn't!"

"I did!"

"You swear?"

"As sure as you're standing there!"

"This isn't funny, Nate," Lindy said, beginning to pace back and forth. "Say you're teasing now, and I'll forgive you. Keep going and I…" she paused. "I might have to believe you."

"That's my girl," I smiled. "I've been gone for…I don't know…maybe five months or so."

"Tenth walker?"

"Yup!"

"Mary-Sue?"

"That's Mary-Sam, thank-you, and no, I didn't break any hearts. The ladies were taken, you know, or spoken for."

"I think the proper term is Gary or Larry Stu."

"You and everyone else," I snapped.

Lindy sat heavily. "This is really cool."

"I've got proof," I pointed to the wall. "My stuff is over there, by that chair. There's a necklace from Lady Galadriel, and some lembas in the pocket, and…"

"You are getting way too excited," Lindy pushed my shoulder. "Lay down before you fall down. You're on meds, remember? Maybe you are making this whole thing up."

"Am not," I started to argue again.

She got up again and went and went through my stuff, pulling out the appropriate items I spoke of. She smiled and giggled like a kid on Christmas.

My goodness, she was looking gorgeous tonight. I hadn't seen her in such a long time. I wonder if I missed her…in more ways than a friend…

I shook the thoughts off quickly.

----

Suddenly, my parents burst into the room. My father looked flustered; my mother looked like she had climbed right from bed.

"Never before have I received such a disturbing phone call!" my dad made no move to hug or kiss me. I missed the big lug. He just had to ignore my momentarily outstretched arms, didn't he?

Mom didn't and rushed to me, giving me a quick squeeze and kiss on top of the head. "How are you feeling, son?"

"Much better," I said. "I'm on medication."

"Uh oh," said my dad.

"Robert," snapped my mother. She smiled to cover irritation. "Well, they said you could go, and we've got stuff to make you feel better. Now let's go home."

"Not till we've had an explanation about what happened," my dad said sternly.

"I don't know," I said, sighing. _Welcome home_, I thought ruefully. "I feel asleep and woke up bleeding. Someone took a knife to me and left, or so everyone thinks."

It was silent for a moment.

"Most peculiar," said my dad.

"Indeed," said my mother. "Well, you're definitely combined to bed rest till they're ready to pull the stitches out. You'll have time to do a little research and find out if there was someone from school trying to hurt you or a loose convict or something."

"Or just till you come up with a better excuse," Dad interjected.

"Splendid," I said dryly.

Lindy stood in the corner, finishing writing something on a tiny paper pad next to the out-of-reach phone. She came over, smiled and gave me a hug. She pressed the paper note into my hand, her breath tickling my ear as she whispered, giggling, "Nice scar."

I grinned back. "See you tomorrow?"

"Sure."

My parents left me alone so I could dress and get my stuff together.

I opened the note and peered at it quickly.

----

_Dear bestest, craziest, weirdest friend,_

_Sometimes I wonder if I should believe you, but considering you have substantial evidence, I think I will. You crazy awesome boy. ;-) So how come you were the lucky one? What did you do there? Did you miss me? How come you called me at eight, did your cell phone work in Middle-Earth or something? You have to tell me absolutely everything. If you don't, I shall…silly string your plasma tv. Oh wait, you don't have one! Well, it seems your parents are getting a little agitated, so I think I'll bow out and come visit you tomorrow. _

_Love you tons,_

_Lindy_

_PS: That scar is way hott. Lizzy Rogers would go out with you now! (but she's pretty superficial anyways. I like you cuz you're a lunkhead). Sleep well!_

_AND YOU HAVE TO TELL ME WHO STABBED YOU!!!!!!!_

_----_

"Who cares about Lizzy Rogers?" I mused to myself, peering out the window as Lindy's car disappeared around the corner.

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**Don't worry, there is more to come, and he won't be trapped in modern day as long as you think. No worries, things will get better. This story ain't over yet!**

**PS: I think Pippin Baggins (yes, that would be me,) made a cameo appearance in this chapter. See if you can find mua.**

**Read and review,**

**On that button,**

**Right below**

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	20. Summer School? NO!

**Wow, thanks everyone for the totally awesome reviews. You guys rock. And I don't think I'll answer any questions this time, I think I'll just let ya'll figure it out on your own! Hehe!

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**Chapter 20, **

**Summer School? NO!**

"_Just keep swimming, just keep swimming," _I sang happily to myself. _"Just keep swimming swimming swimming…what do we do, we swim, swim, swim, HAHAHAHA HA HOOOOOO I LOVE TO SWIM…"_

"Nathan," said my mother tiredly. "Please."

I sighed. "Mom, I am bored out of my mind."

"I can see that," she replied tersely, flipping through the paper.

I stretched out my legs and rested them on the coffee table. "Can I put on a movie, please?"

"No, you've already watched all six star wars movies today. That's enough television."

I laid my head back on the couch. Lindy hadn't been able to come over, James was busy all week, and I was still confined to house arrest—er, just rest.

"Why don't you read a book," suggested my mom.

"Mom," I complained. "I can't concentrate on a book with tiny letters all over. It's literally impossible. It takes too long to read a sentence."

"Perhaps," said my mom, pulling out an envelope she was hiding behind the newspaper. "That would explain how you got these."

"Progress reports?" I asked sullenly.

She curtly began reading out loud. "Here is one of your math teachers' comments. _Would suggest going back to Algebra One to learn the basics_."

I cringed.

"Here's another," she said, glaring at me over the paper. "Goofs off too much during class. Can't concentrate enough. Would suggest going back to second year English for a little more help."

"Some English teacher!" I snapped. "_Can't _concentrate, _would_ suggest? What kind of writing is that? Those are two fragmented sentences for a darn--"

"Hush," said my mother, setting it in her lap and folding her hands.

"Can we skip the lecture?" I pleaded.

"Oh, sure," said my mom, surprisingly easily. "You'll hear plenty—but not from me." She stood and handed me the paper. I saw a lot of Ds and Fs. "I'm sending you to summer school."

-----

_Two and a half, or so, weeks later…or maybe a week and a half, or two half weeks, um…_

_----_

"And then she was all, cute and stuff, like she was gonna let me off the hook, and then WHAMO! She delivers a bundle of fantastic news, like, a place where you gotta wear uniforms or something, and making lots of new friends, and I'm like, _you're trying my patience woman! _And she doesn't give a darn about how hard it is for me. Its not like it's my fault, either. The teachers all treat me like I have no brain whatsoever. They'll take me aside and explain the assignments in baby words, thinking I can't understand anything—who says ADD makes my brain evaporate?—and in doing so, they totally forget to give me certain information, and are always sending smarter students to help me out who are actually stupider than I am, and--"

"Dude, chill!" James flicked a rock into the muddy stream running alongside the road. "You're making my head hurt."

"Sorry." I kicked a pebble. "Thanks for chilling with me. I'm probably not going to know anyone there."

"Sure you will," James said, grinning. "Brian will be there, and Kenneth."

I sighed. "Yippee."

Well, without further to do, a little explaining. Brian is a jerk. He's flirted with Lindy every time he's near her, and cussed me out once, but still pretends to really like Lindy and give her big hugs whenever she deserves them. Kenneth is a lot like me, except he's a typical bully for poor middle schoolers. Steals things out of lockers, eats others lunches, threw a desk at a kid once, etc. Not the nicest people in the world, if you take my meanin'. (Oops, getting Gamgee again). Anyways, they're classics. I'm surprised Hollywood hasn't found them yet. Which, of course, their ideals would be—"Oh, they've just got spirit."

Wow, I am REALLY rambling.

----

"Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat," I hummed to myself.

James reached over and shoved me. "Stop now before you get there."

I shook myself. Right.

"You don't want to get in trouble on the first day," he explained.

"Well, thank-you, Einstein, I never thought of that," I replied.

He reached over and patted my shoulder, and turned left to head for his house. "Enjoy," he called over his shoulder.

I waved and began humming "May it Be" to myself, fingering my necklace from the Lady Galadriel.

I could handle orcs, Moria, and Caradhras… surely I could handle summer school, couldn't I?

----

I was taking four classes. Algebra one, English 2, chemistry, and philosophy. The worst kind of classes in the world. Why wasn't choir offered? Oh, right, because I got an A in that class.

I got to the school, which looked really weird and clean in the summer, and found it dimly lighted and boring inside. There was an least twenty-two other people there retaking classes as well. They all looked at me funny, like I was an invading space alien. I looked behind me, wondering if there was anything funnier than I was around. Nope. It's just me.

I tripped and fell into Algebra one, where a bunch of scared looking freshmen and a few sophomores were huddled in their desks. I accidentally dropped my books on the way to chemisty, and they went over the balcony into the old cafeteria. In philosophy we—hmm, I don't understand what we did in philosophy. In English 2, a bunch of sad juniors like myself worked with two sophomores who completely trying to be oblivious to our existence.

At a short break, Lindy gave me a call on the cell and told me she and James were driving over during our lunch break to eat with me.

I went outside quickly, and sat in the paved area for kids to eat out in the yard thing, munching some Pringles, waiting for them to get there.

"Hey," said a shy voice. A girl stood there, a small, gawky freshman, clinging her lunch bag. "Want some company?"

"Sure," I said rather awkwardly, moving over a little.

"I like school, don't you?" she tried to make some conversation.

"No," I said bluntly. "I'm afraid not."

"Oh," she said, disappointed. "I like school a lot. I'm just very bad at it."

"That sucks," I said, peering into my lunch bag. Sick. Never letting my mom make my lunch again.

A familiar chugging motor choked into the parking lot. Lindy's car jerked to a stop, and James and her jumped out. They waved.

"Oh, company," said the gawky freshman sadly. "Nice meeting you."

"Um, sure," I said, "But I didn't get the name?"

"Minnie Rogers," she said.

"Lizzy's little sister?" I sighed.

"Oh, yes, do you know her?"

"In a way," I said. This would eventually get to Lizzy Rogers, and then it would get to Brian, and then Brian would realize I was here. Thankfully, I'd gotten through the first half without seeing him. So much for stealth mode, I blew my cover.

She nodded and turned abruptly away, walking over to some boys and sitting with them. Lindy and James were rummaging in her trunk. Forgot their lunches, most likely. Lindy looked cute. New shirt, probably, high-heels to try and make herself look taller…

I nearly slapped myself. This is my best friend. What am I thinking?

I opened my backpack and pulled out a tiny box. Inside was a pretty, entwined leaf that was green and shiny. The broach, from Galadriel.

I'd thought I only got my necklace and stale lembas. Going through the jeans pockets, much later, I discovered one more treasure—the clasp for my cape, a leaf of Lothlorien. When I missed Middle-Earth, I pulled it out and remembered the sword fighting, the battles, the ever-lasting walking, and poor, poor Boromir. I didn't think of him much. But when I did, I always felt side. But since I'm in the REAL earth now, I thought it'd be best to try and not miss it.

----

Suddenly I gasped. This was in Galadriel's mirror, too! I was sitting at school, and pulled that leafy thing out of my backpack, and looked at it. How random!

I stood and looked to Lindy and James. They were walking towards me, swinging their arms in the warm June air and carrying paper lunch bags triumphantly.

"Hey Nate!" called Lindy. "How's life?"

I clutched the leaf, feeling a familiar feeling in the pit of my stomach—like the world was suddenly tilting over.

"It's going," I said, closing my eyes for a second. Could anybody else feel this?

The ground was shaking.

There must be an earthquake.

I opened my eyes and saw nothing. It was totally black. Ah, so this is how it's gonna be. Random blackouts. Stupid orc.

I knelt down and felt the turf beneath my feet. It wasn't cement, it was grass—and long grass, too.

I covered my face and shut my eyes. "Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease help it be Middle Earth," I begged the Above. "That'd be just lovely."

I mentally counted to three.

One.

Two.

Three.

And opened my eyes and was greeted by dazzling sunlight. I was standing in a yellow field, surrounded by blue hills and grasslands.

"Well, Toto," I muttered, turning around in circles and staring at the view. "I don't think we're in Kansas anymore!"

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**I'm so sorry that the writing is bunchy and lots of dialogue, and not enough singing and randomness. Nate (and I) are just not quite ourselves unless we're writing Middle-Earthish. It just doesn't seem right when he's in our world, huh? Anyways, I do hope you'll forgive the sloppy writing and long wait, but I promise I'll get better because it's Christmas break and I can work on this more. **


	21. Ranger, Elf, and Dwarf with Amnesia

**Reviewers: (I need to come up with a name for all of you. Whoever comes up with the best idea—well, that's what you'll be called. Something goofy like TheVillagePeople! (jk jk). **

**Anyways, thanks always for such nice reviews, they're like my favorite thing to read! You've all been so nice to me (sniff). And all of you should see my C2 community, (it's new, I'm manager, and I don't know how to use it) and it's dedicated TenthWalker stories. If you have any ideas for good stories, and they follow the story rules listed with the community, then let my staff know. They know how to use it, obviously, because there is already a story in there—and how Cap'n O did it, I have no idea. **

**So, with further to do, thanks again, and enjoy the chapter!

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**Chapter 21, Ranger, Elf, and Dwarf with Amnesia**

The sunlight was plenty brighter than the dark void I sort of—fell into. I blinked rapidly and got my bearings. The yellow fields faded into green, boulder dotted hills, looking strangely familiar. I could very nearly see the peak of Caradhras—or maybe I was totally off and seeing something else. A hill rose up, away from me, and clustered at a mountain's foothill. On it's peak was dotted glimmering rooftops, a wall that wrapped it up, and a small palace of brown and gold at it's top.

"There Theoden lies in Medusalad, the Golden Hall," I quoted sappily. "Medusalad? Medu…sled? Ceasar salad?"

Suddenly, I heard the unmistakable sound of beating hooves in the distance. "Yes!" I pumped a fist and turned towards the sound. A very familiar ranger sat astride a horse of Rohan, a hunk of dwarf next to an elf—whose hair was blowing in the wind—(shudder) and a wizard upon his silver horse. (not white, silver).

"Howdy ya'll!" I called loudly, running towards them. They pulled their horses to a stop, staring, then suddenly leaned to each other in whispers.

Then they drew their swords and began to gallop madly to me.

"Uh oh," I thought, just before tripping and falling flat on my face.

Hooves pounded nearby, gathering around, till I was properly surround by three horsemen.

I brushed myself off and stood. "Well, hey, everyone, did you miss me?"

Aragorn looked more weary, and older, and his eyes registered surprise. But he only stared at me and said nothing, his knuckles gripped around the hilt.

"And who are you, to be wandering in Rohan?" Legolas said, his eyes looking dark, evil, and freaky. "A spy?" he notched an arrow to the bow.

"I'm not a spy!" I slapped the side of my face. "Wake up, Nathan, you're dreaming, stop now stop now…"

"If you are not a spy," said Gandalf solemnly. "Then who are you, and what do you want with us?"

"And moreover, whose side is he ON?" added Gimli gruffly.

"It's me, Nate!" I began to feel just a little worried. "Don't you remember me? I went with you on your quest, from Rivendell, with Frodo, and Sam, and ya'll, and Merry and Pippin!"

They were silent.

My voice faltered a little. "…and Boromir." Silence. "Oh, don't be morons. And please don't tell me you have amnesia. Remember? We all hung out, and you know, had this big journey mcthingy, Caradhras, Moria—which, by the way, YOU DIED," I pointed at Gandalf. "And now your back. And you've all just come from Fangorn, correcto? And Merry and Pippin are with Treebeard?" I felt like screaming—in falsetto, actually. That'd make Gandalf's beard curl.

They sheathed their swords.

"This really sucks!" I said sorrowfully. "We all went through a lot, together, you know. We were all good friends. Now I have to start all over, dangit. And my guess is, you don't believe me. It took stinking forever to convince Gandalf I was from another world anyway, it must be harder to believe you all knew me once upon a time."

Aragorn dismounted and walked determinedly over to me, looking stern. He seemed much taller. Freaky.

And he wrapped his arms around me and gave me a HUGE HUG.

He pulled back. "How did you do it?"

"Do what, huh, hm?" I stumbled over anything not related to proper English.

"Of course we remember you," grumbled Gandalf. "How could we forget?"

"You mean you DO?" I was shocked.

They all began to laugh. "We were just fooling, laddie," Gimli said.

"Jerks!" I snapped, feeling like I could melt. Now we're going to have a nice, heartwarming reunion. A tear jerker—yes! Oh, wait, never mind. Darn ADD.

"It is not quite easy to forget YOU, of all people, Nathanial," laughed Legolas, climbing down and shaking my hand. He frowned and peered at my face closely.

"Personal bubble, blondie," I backed up.

"Sorry," said Legolas. "I'm just wondering. Are you sure you are not a ghost?"

I felt my head. "Last time I checked. Why?"

"Well," Legolas shook his head in bewilderment. "You died."

"What do you mean, I died?" I laughed. "I was unconscious, sure, but…"

"You died of blood loss," said Aragorn quite seriously. "You had no pulse, you were not breathing, and you lost all sense of _liveliness. _In Middle Earth, we generally call that being _dead._ We sent your body over the falls in a boat, like Boromir."

"No way." I grinned. "Suh-weet. I'm pretty much even with ol' Gandalf, huh?"

Gandalf sighed and looked the other way.

"How did you do it?" Legolas asked in an interested voice.

"I didn't do anything!" I raised my hands. "In my opinion, I lost consciousness, and woke up back in my own home. Injuries and everything. And let me tell you how embarrassing and cawkward that was---"

"Some other time, if you please," Gandalf said, stirring. "We must get to Theoden. The time is short, and the storm is brewing. Nathanial can explain his rather remarkable recovery another time. Can you bear him, Aragorn?"

"I can," Aragorn leapt astride his horse and I leapt up behind him, sitting rather uncomfortably on the horse's butt.

This was going to be great. We're going to ride off, in the sunset, a couple of old reunited friends—it was better coming back than I thought it would be.

We're gonna gallop off the distance, wind blowing through my veins full of…hm…middle earthish goodness, and excitement was too low a word to describe the feeling of being back and ready for another adventure.

"Noro lim," said Aragorn,

And I

fell off

the horse.

"Are we going to get off on the wrong foot, here, Nathan?" asked Gandalf.

"Talk to the hand," I replied, hoisting myself back onto the poor beast.

"Are you not excited to meet Kind Theoden?" Aragorn attempted to make conversation.

"No, I just want to meet back up with my hobbit buddies," I replied easily. Merry and Pippin wouldn't be around for awhile, but I was looking forward to it. I was looking forward to everything.

It felt good being back!

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**Nate is back and ready for action! R & R!!!!!**


	22. the King in his Golden Hall

**Dear Reviewers: (hmm, someone come up with a good nickname)**

**Thanks for such lovely reviews! They were so nice! So nice, in fact, my mother wanted me to email some of them to her so she could see them too. My goodness! You are all just a barrel of…………..nice reviews! Lol. **

**I hope this chapter satisfies your growing hunger for…updates, lol. Have a very merry Christmas break! **

**Pippin

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Disclaimer: I own Nate, Lindy, James, the One-Eyed-One-Horned-Flying-Purple-People-Eater. Oh wait--don't own him either. LOTR belongs to King Tolkien of Fantasy Fiction land.**

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**Chapter 22, the King in his Golden Hall**

"Be careful what you say," Gandalf checked Shadowfax and brought him slowly to the gate. "And do not look for welcome here."

My back hurts very much. Wah. "What IS IT," I drawled, "That makes us SO unlovable?"

"Because some have a straight and narrow mind," Gimli harrumphed, poking fun at the elf.

"We walk a straight, narrow, lonely path, my friend," Legolas countered.

"It is good having you back," Aragorn abruptly changed the subject, but speaking as if he wasn't paying any attention. A torn banner of Rohan swung on the wind and crumpled the ground near our horse.

"It is good to be back," I eyed the flag. Poor Rohan.

"You cannot imagine how shocked we were—how shocked we still are. You are full of secrets, my friend."

"I had no control over what happened," I said easily, as we passed under the gate. Townspeople, all in black and mournful for Theodred, stared warily at us.

Soon we reached the front steps, dismounted, and walked up to the Golden Hall. Then we were ordered to disarm.

"Ha, I don't have any weapons," I chuckled. They had disappeared, right with my old clothes, when I was transported back to the theatre.

"You must disarm," Hama looked towards me.

"Dude, I don't have anything--" Legolas was motioning some sort of elvish sign language, trying to capture my attention behind Hama's head. Hama turned and Legolas pretended to be running his hands through his hair—something extremely unelvish, and Hama moved away from him as if he were diseased.

I glanced down, feeling a familiar weight at my belt. It was my trusty old sword.

"Well, if you insist," I pulled it out of it's sheath and set it against the wall.

Aragorn became extremely—_angry—_about leaving his famous Broken Sword Blade Dude, and commanded no one touch it.

"Drama king," I whispered. Gimli smacked the backside of my head.

And Gandalf managed to sneak in with his staff. Hmmmm. I'm seeing major favoritism.

----

We passed indoors, golden, yes, but cheery? No. A rather dim gold, if you take my meaning, but there was not enough light to show it off. And sitting in a throne was Théoden, old and weary, (but not as gray and deformed, that's just unrealistic), and looking like he was sleeping with his eyes open.

"The courtesy of your hall is somewhat lessened of late, Théoden King," Gandalf walked towards him, seeing nothing else—not even the group of men walking alongside the walls, tracking our steps, with hostile faces.

"Why should I welcome you, Gandalf Stormcrow?" Théoden asked, glancing to Grima, in case he messed up his lines.

"A just question, my liege," said Grima, his tongue spitting as he spoke. Late is the hour in which this conjurer chooses to appear. Lathspell spell I name him. Ill news is an ill guest."

"You are a sad, strange little man," I mumbled.

"Keep your forked tongue behind your teeth," Gandalf hollered, walking menacingly towards him. "I have not passed through fire and death to bandy crooked words with a witless worm!"

"Why did you NOT TAKE THE STAFF?" Grima wailed, stumbling back.

The group of men attacked. Legolas took a couple out, Gimli whacked some and ran over to the crouching Worm. Aragorn punched many and they landed in a heap. I took care of a few myself, socking a few faces and guts and knocking them to the floor.

I glanced over at Gandalf. He was working his magic and Théoden was slumping down into his chair. Eowyn suddenly rushed into the scene, only to be held back by Aragorn.

Théoden was looking almost dead, but the weariness was passing, lines were erased from his forehead. Eowyn struggled from Aragorn's arm and ran to him, kneeling by his face, crying.

"I know your face!" said Théoden with recognition.

"Breathe the free air again," Gandalf said, looking pleased.

----

It wasn't long before Theoden sat his new guests down for a lovely meal. (I was starving! Lunch hour was probably long over!) Grima was hustled away somewhere—banishment would not come quite yet. Theoden was crushed over the news of Theodred, and barely ate, but questioned the Three Hunters and the Wizard greatly, knowing he needed to make sure the kingdom would be safe for now. I sat on the other side of Eowyn, but she stared at Aragorn the whole time. Sigh. That's how it always is.

----

It felt like AGES since sleeping in a real bed—a middle earth bed, that is. I was not invited to the funeral, and was shown comfortable quarters, instead. I was sitting in a chair near the window, watching two small figures—an old wizard and a king, father, bent with grief—standing at the gravesite.

Suddenly the door flew open, and Eowyn came stumbling in, sobbing so harshly her voice was completely gone.

"Evening, M'Lady," I said, surprised, and standing.

She reeled back in surprise against the wall. "What are you doing in here?" she said, sounding angry.

I glanced around. "Uh, I was shown this room, so I could stay in it." Why was it such a big deal? Oops…then it dawned on me. "Theodred's room?" I asked sadly.

"For his last moments, yes," Eowyn turned to leave.

"Wait, I'm sorry," I said. "I don't think the guard knew what he was doing anyways. He was young and probably new at this. I'm more comfortable sleeping on the ground anyways, I'll just go find where the rest of my team are being housed."

Eowyn hurriedly wiped her face.

"You can hang out in here as long as you want," I said, grabbing my returned sword and put the belt around my waist. I scooted around her and left through the open door.

"Wait," she said quickly. "Who are you? You do not look like a man of Minas Tirith, or a Ranger of the North, so how is it you came to be traveling with the Lord Aragorn?"

Aragorn, Aragorn, Aragorn. Does the hunk ever get a break? That's what us lesser people are for!

"I just sort of—dropped in," I said quirkily, wondering if she'd be incredibly disturbed at my Jack Sparrow impression. "We're old friends."

"Where do YOU hail from?" she pressed, looking curious.

"That's for me to know, pretty lady, and for you not to find out," I can't believe that just flew out of my mouth. "Excuse my manners," I said hastily, bowing twice. "Er, I haven't been in a Lady's company for—" According to my time, forty five minutes, according to theirs, perhaps years.

"A long time," I added. "And my manner is lessened. Goodbye!"

And I left.

If Lindy had been here, she would have made me apologize more profusely and then would have smacked my head for forgetting to speak to a princess more nicely. Or was she a princess? I'd have to ponder that later.

I went off in search for my Three Hunter Friends.

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**Hope it wasn't too boring! READ AND REVIEW! Remember, Jesus loves you! (He's the reason for the season!) ooh, ain't that corny. I ought to get a prize. **


	23. On To Helm's Deep

**Dear Reviewers: Aw, you all are so nice! And welcome to all of you new reviewers! Lovely to have you aboard the review board! **

**And please continue to have a lovely Christmas Break!**

**Here is your next update!**

**Pippin Baggins

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**

**PS: Scissorhero, we may have to do something about those scissors. I think Jam has been hiding them on purpose. (and considering Jam may be my honorary "date" but not "date date" for Homecoming, he'd better come up with a good excuse lol)…(no joke, His date can't go, and mine can't go either, so we're going to hang out. Funny, huh, now that I'm thinking about it…I'm going with a character from my story…weird………..)

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**Chapter 23, On to Helm's Deep**

I must admit, I got a little turned around inside Medu…hmm…Meduseld (I looked it up this time) and did not find them until they were already seated inside the main hall, watching two starved children. They were wrapped in blankets and waited for some chow. A servant delivered bowls of stew to both them, and Gimli, the ever-hungry dwarf. Eowyn was angrily (but politely) explaining to Théoden their plight.

"Where's Mama?" cried the small girl.

"Shhhh," replied Eowyn, touching her shoulder kindly.

I tried to walk in rather inconspicuously (what a mouthful) so I wouldn't interrupt. I tripped over a bench and stumbled into the room, banging the door open and landing in a heap behind Gimli and the children.

"Beg pardon," I muttered, standing and brushing myself off.

The conversation resumed without so much as a nod, and I seated myself next to Gimli.

"And how goes it?" I whispered.

"They're still stuck about going to war," grumbled Gimli. "Aye, how my axe is restless for orc necks."

"Your mom," I snickered.

"Eh, what's that?"

"Nothing," I brushed some of the little boy's hair out of his face. "Poor buddy," I said. "Your mom is going to be fine."

"How do you know?" asked the boy between mouthfuls.

"Well, she's a smart woman, your mom, right?"

"I certainly think so."

"Then no worries." I could have slapped myself. Hakuna Matata, or however you spell the Lion King song, was now completely stuck in my cabeza. Or was it cabello.

Gimli burped. I laughed a little too loudly. Théoden looked distracted and glanced at me irritably.

"What is the King's descision?" asked Gandalf calmly.

"We shall retreat to Helm's Deep…" Theoden said softly, then spoke with more strength. "Yes. Helm's Deep. A place of strength, where we can be safe. That is my choice. Hama?"

Hama bowed from the shadows.

"Make the announcement," Théoden said, standing. "You know what to say. Light burdens. Woman and children—we must empty Edoras."

Hama looked displeased. "Yes, your Majesty," he grunted, leaving the hall.

"Get ready to go," Gandalf poked my shoulder. "And be not a burden to Aragorn, nor the king. Take care of yourself for the time being. Perhaps we will meet again."

"You're going for Eomer?" I asked.

"Maybe," Gandalf said, leaving.

Everyone gathered their things, and left the room, but myself, Aragorn, and Eowyn.

"Farewell, for now, Milord," said Eowyn, giving a small bow and exiting. For a split second, she turned and looked at Aragorn once more before disappearing.

Aragorn gave a sigh.

"I think she likes you," I said.

"She has my sympathy," Aragorn said firmly.

"I know." It was silent for a second.

"Is there someone you are, hm…interested in, Nathanial?" asked Aragorn, rather shyly.

"NO," I said quickly. Why did Lindy's pretty face suddenly pop into my head, dangit. "Well, there is my one friend," I stumbled over the words. "I guess what I mean is, I like her, I mean—I love her as a person, but I think I _like _her."

Aragorn was confused.

"You see," it came out in a rush. "We've been friends for ages, and I'm afraid if I fall for my bes—_dearest_ friend, I'll lose that friend. She may not want to be more, and might feel awkward, and…hmmmmmm…" I paused. "Help me out here."

"I do understand," Aragorn said calmly. "But it is much simpler. Either there is some feelings, or none. She deserves--" he patted my shoulder. "To know the truth. It's _the concealment _of your feelings that could make you lose her. Have faith, _Mellon_! You are not the only one with problems in this area." He grinned rather ranger-ish and left me alone.

Well now, I wondered. What ought I to do now?

----

Within hours, we were traveling to Helm's Deep. I had naught but a small packet of clothes lent to me by a rider, and my trusty sword that "appeared" out of thin air. I rode a brown, stumpy horse that was adorable, in horse-lover language.

I was feeling slightly nervous about countering the Wargs. We'd dealt with them before, but we were not protecting over a thousand women and children then, only the ten of us in the Fellowship. How long ago that seemed! And poor Boromir. That was the night I taught him Pig Latin. Maybe Théoden would like to learn it. Oh, scratch that, he's got too much on HIS mind…..

----

We were traveling along the brink of a river bank, nearly seven feet high, on a slender road between a hill and the edge. Men road on the open side, so that if enemies were on the opposite shore that was much lower down, they'd be some protection for the ladies and babies.

Suddenly, my horse stumbled.

My stomach lurched as the horse crashed over the edge. The world turned upside down and I was thrown clear from the saddle. I fell from the sickening height (from the horse…I'm not that much of a wuss) and fell headlong into the bank. I rolled in the dirt, waiting for a nasty sound of a rock against my skull or something nasty.

Hooves swung over me and I threw myself the other way, trying to avoid the falling horse. With a horrendous splash, we both fell into the torrent of the freezing cold river.

It was dark, and the current swirled black water over the top, enclosing over my head.

"I ain't going to drown," I thought rapidly. "That wouldn't be very nice…"

I touched bottom. It wasn't that deep.

In fact, I was standing—not falling. The current musn't be very strong, then, after all.

I barely felt cold, or any water, for that matter, I must be totally numb or something.

The water probably wouldn't hurt my eyes, I thought, and opened them to try and swim to the surface.

When I DID open my eyes, what a sight greeted me.

It was the school courtyard.

Lindy and James were walking happily towards me, swinging their lunches.

I was soaking wet and dripping river water all over, my sword hung from my belt, and my clothes were part mine, part Middle-Earthish.

I wiped my eyes. Good grief. I couldn't come back now! I was RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE of it all, I couldn't go back!

I would much rather go to Helm's deep than algebra!

----

"Hey you!" called Lindy, finally loping up. She glanced at me and laughed. "Why are you soaking wet?"

"Would you believe me if I said I came out of a branch of the Anduin?" I asked.

"Yes," she replied, clapping a hand over her mouth in shock.

"Huh?" said James, catching up to Lindy. "Why are you all wet?" he asked. "Take a dip in the fountain?"

"Sure," I replied hastily. I never told James, he wouldn't have believed me.

We stood there for a rather cawkward moment of silence.

"Lunch anyone?" I asked.

----

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**Well, if you all knew what was going to happen next, you'd know this was a cliffhanger. I know, it totally stinks that he's back in the real world, but don't worry—all will be mended in the end and hopefully I'll be forgiven for having such a hanging ending. Or whatever it is. **

**Happy day before day before day before day before Christmas!**


	24. The Meaning of my Gift

**Mo99: I will not give you any initials of my school or anything, (as you well know, I have the online safety paranoia) but I will relay a school song or something, and you can tell me if it's the same school. Does this sound familiar?**

"**We've got it in our hips say, Mhhmm, Shake it out! Mhm Mhm Shake it Out!" **

**Or maybe the famous "Mr. D" line: "NEXT BELL YOU ARE LATE!" If you by any chance recognize these, I'll just talk to you at school. There are only eight people in my Spanish class so it will be easy to find out who ya are. But by all means, I'm sorry, but I do not give out my locations online.

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And thanks to all my other faithful reviewers! I hope you all are having the most WONDERFUL christmas break--I know I am!

Pip

PS: wait for it...wait for it...JESUS LOVES YOU! hehe

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Disclaimer: If I owned LOTR, slash/incest stories wouldn't be allowed...sorry thats random but those gross me out!

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**Chapter 24, the Meaning of my Gift**

I couldn't eat. I was too frazzled. I had JUST gotten back to Middle Earth—I knew my task wasn't done.

I hardly noticed that James and Lindy weren't speaking either. They were watching me unwrap my sandwich, open my mouth to bite it, change my mind, and then rewrap it, then repeat the process.

Finally, James erupted. "What gives, dude?"

"Nothing," I said, tugging the necklace around my neck that I now so often did when I was agitated, worried, nervous, or mad. The cold green stone suddenly felt very warm.

"Your necklace just turned blue," Lindy whispered.

James coughed on his starbucks. "WHAT?"

"Nice going, Lindy," I muttered.

"Sorry," Lindy took an oversized bite of a candy bar.

Another silence ensued.

"I feel very out of the loop, here," James said sorrowfully. "Something is going on that you aren't telling me. In fact, you're probably pranking me now, or something. Why are you all wet? Why aren't you eating or talking, both are very abnormal for you. Where'd you get that mood ring necklace? You guys are either going crazy, or I am. Oh, and another thing—don't try to hide it now, Nate, it's too late—why do you have a FREAKIN SWORD?"

I wanted to tell him the truth, but only a true LOTR nerd (like Lindy) might believe me. And why…why in the world was I sent back WAY too early? And why was my necklace feeling…hot…against my neck and changing colors?

----

_It was wrapped in fine, blue cloth that nearly sparkled. Inside was a necklace, made of fine, masculine chain, and hanging from it was a single stone. It shone green, in the shape of a diamond. Frodo hinted that it may even turn blue, very much like Sting, when Orcs were near. I wasn't too sure, but it was highly likely—I mean, this elvish stuff, you can never be to sure of. I'll never forget her face when she handed to cloth to me. "May it remind you of what you learned," she said, smiling, her eyes lighting up. "And what you will become, and what lies ahead. You cannot guess it's powers, but they will aide you when you least expect it."_

-----

"What kind of powers?" I whispered to myself, ignoring James' questions for now. He sighed and threw his paper lunch bag to the nearest trash can.

"You are a freak, Nate," he said. "What'd you do? Watch too many Harry Potter movies?"

I could have sworn I head Galadriel's voice over the sound system, echoing through the school yard.

"_Your task is not done. You must go back."_

She's not the only one who thinks that! Why be brought back in the first place? Maybe I forgot something.

"_Get ready to go! Make haste!"_

Well, I think I've got everything. My sword, my necklace, maybe I ought to take my lunch. I stuffed it in my bookbag and put it over my shoulder.

"What, did you give up on eating?" asked James, clearly hurt I wasn't telling him my secret. Perhaps…

"James, buddy," I put my hand on his shoulder. "You know I trust you. I hope you trust me. Do me a favor?" Maybe they were supposed to come too. Well, no harm in trying, but if not, I'd still look like an idiot.

"What?"

I reached over and took Lindy's hand. "Hold your breath."

"Huh?" said James voice, suddenly gargled.

Black water crashed from above and threw us to the ground. I lost hold of Lindy's hand and James shoulder. I knew I was in the river again.

"Well, I'm back," I thought excitedly, swimming to the surface. Legolas held out a hand and helped me, dripping wet, onto the small outlet of shore.

"Well, thankee, Blondie," I said, wiping the water from my eyes. I suppose no time passed at all--this time. Who knows what the system is.

"Can you ever stay on your feet?" asked Legolas, acting pained.

"No, not really," I said after a moment's thought. Two other men were scrambling down the bank. "Make sure they get the other two," I said.

"Others?" Legolas glanced over my shoulder. Lindy was emerging, dragging James along, both of them looking extremely displeased. The two men were giving them a hand out. "What new game is this of yours, Nathanial?" he asked.

"Nothing," I said. "They fell down too."

"Yes……of course…." Legolas caught the drift, shut up, and all of us crawled back up the embankment.

"Nate," came James' voice as he crawled up behind me. "Out of all your scheme's, this is the CRAZIEST--"

"Is my horse okay?" I asked, ignoring James. Let him figure it out.

"Shaken," said Legolas. "He managed to get out himself, but luckily he is not injured. The embankment gave out beneath you. It wasn't your fault, actually."

"I knew it!" I laughed.

We were up the hill now, and joined the refugees in the long line. Lindy was surprisingly silent. Legolas moved up the line, joining Aragorn and Gimli.

"Well," I said, turning around and facing Lindy and James, walking backwards. "What do you think? NOW do you understand why I was wet?"

"It's still a little foggy," James tapped his head sarcastically. "It's freezing out here."

I walked a little ways up, found Legolas leading my horse, and pulled the blanket from the pack. I took the reigns, walked back, and handed it to James. "Here."

"Well, thanks," James said, sounding miffed.

"Helm's Deep?" asked Lindy finally.

"Getting there," I said.

"Hmm." She glanced down the hill to the river. "You could have at LEAST told ME to hold my breath, too!"

"Sorry, I forgot," I grinned. Legolas came by and handed her a blanket. She nodded in thanks and wrapped it around her.

"And another thing," Lindy was obviously irritated too. "That's the Isen, not the Anduin."

"Well, in that case, I beg your leave for my geographical stupidness," I replied. "I thought you'd be happy to be in Middle Earth."

"I am HAPPY," said Lindy in a mad voice. Her anger faded to a funny grin. "I just wish I had a magical necklace too."

"Maybe we can get you one," I said seriously. "Galadriel owns a Macy's over in Hollin somewhere."

"Shutup," Lindy sniffed.

"Okay," I complied. "Would you like to ride my horse, Milady?"

"Better than hanging down here with you two," Lindy launched herself on top of the horse and ignored my outstretched arms to assist her.

"Can you spell DISASTER?" hissed James.

"No," I laughed, taking the reigns from Lindy and leading her on, James moving and walked on the opposite side of the horse.

"Aren't you excited?" I said in a corny commercial voice to poor, wet James.

"I would have been perfectly fine with a 'Wish You Were Here' postcard," retorted James.

Lindy and I just laughed at him.

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**All of you decided that Lindy ought to be in Middle Earth. I was already planning on bringing her in, sooner or later, so I decided sooner rather than later. Hope you all enjoyed the chapter! Bye now! **


	25. This SHOULD have been a fluff chapter

**Dear Reviewers: (okay, we reeeeeeally need to come up with a better name than that. Any ideas?)**

**Thank-you for all the most loooovely reviews. They were very nice. I'm glad you are all happy with Lindy going, and no worries, she will not be a sue—I think most of you have guessed who she'll end up with. MUAHAHA! **

**And tonight, my dear friends, is that Holy Night, right before Jesus was born to live as a man and die for our sins. Let's not forget all that good stuff! It's important! **

**Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a goodnight!**

**feeling poetic and Christmassy,**

**Pippinator!

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Disclaimer: I own nothing...nada, zilch, none, zip...etc...

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**Chapter 25, This SHOULD have been a fluff chapter.

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"How did you do for your first march?" I asked, flinging myself onto the grass next to Lindy and James's huddled forms.

James was still wrapped in my blanket and warming his hands at the hastily kindled fire. "Do you have to ask?" he whined.

"And you, perty lady?" I asked Lindy. She was still huddled in Legolas's blanket, and making groany noises.

"I don't feel well," she said. "Not at all. And riding your horse all day certainly helped."

"Was that sarcastic?" I asked James at a moments pause.

James shrugged.

"Nate," said Lindy carefully, "If you can find something for my sweet tooth, all will be forgiven, and I will go to bed."

I pulled some lembas from my pack. "Will this do?"

"Elven bread?" asked Lindy almost eagerly.

"The very thing," I handed it to her. She took a bite, smiled, and immediately threw herself down alongside a log, curling up inside the large blanket. "Thank-you," she muttered from somewhere inside.

Aw, that was so cute. I wanted to give her a quick kiss goodnight but refrained.

"I am going to sing you to sleep," I declared. James covered his ears.

"_Home is behind,_

_The world ahead_

_And there are many paths named Ted—"_

A muffled giggle. Just what I was hoping to hear.

"_Through shadow…to the edge of night,_

_Until the stars are all alight,_

_Mist and shadow,_

_Cloud and shape, _

_All shall fail_

_All shall fade."_

"Nathanial?" Legolas called from the darkness. "Gimli, Aragorn, and I voted: and you have first watch tonight. Sleep well."

Thump. Thump. Elvish snoring. Learn something new every day.

"Ah, me," I sighed, tossing a random stick into the fire, patting James on top of his curly, irritated head, and walking off. I found a nice little perch on top of a boulder and kept an eye out for Wargs.

----

Aragorn touched my shoulder some hours later. "Your turn," he said kindly. "Is not quite over, but you are weary, and I will find no sleep tonight. Why don't you go to bed?"

I yawned. "Thanks, Estel dahling." I handed him a piece of grass that I'd braided at least twenty times. "This is fun. It keeps you occupied and doesn't require any sight."

Aragorn made a confused noise in his throat and settled down.

I sneaked back to the campfire so I wouldn't wake my friends. Surprisingly, I heard low voices. Whether my ADDish hearing and concentration evaporated in Middle Earth, or I was intent on being quiet through the sleeping camp, I heard every word they said—no matter how much it hurt.

"…this sucks," James was saying. "I'm a star wars fan, not a middle earth fan. This is not going to work for me."

"Give it a chance," Lindy was saying. "At least your with your best friends."

"Uh huh," James sighed. "At least with one who tells the truth."

Ouch!

"Well, maybe he'll grow out of it," Lindy couldn't come up with anything better.

Double Ouch.

"You're just saying that because you like him," James muttered.

"Take that back, James McRiley …stupid head!" Lindy scrambled for a good insult and failed miserably.

"But you do," James insisted. "I'm not blind."

"I don't like Nate any more than roasted spinach in a pig," Lindy countered. "At least, romantically, I mean."

Ouch…broken heart alert…..

Where was she coming up with these analogies, anyway?

"Well, be in denial all you want," James smiled in the firelight. "Why else couldn't you not sleep while he was on watch……….in danger????" he added the last part in extreme falsetto.

"Because I don't feel well," snapped Lindy.

"Lovesick?" James laughed.

"Sick of you," Lindy replied.

James poked a stick into the fire and sent up a shower of sparks. "I know you are lying, Lindy, but I'll forgive you only because I know I'm right."

"Of all the nerve," Lindy sighed. "You just don't get it."

"Well, if you don't _like him," _James said sensibly, "What do you think of the guy?"

I cringed. I'd heard this speech on several tv shows.

"He's just a friend," Lindy said after a moment's pause.

POING! Like an arrow in my heart! Figuratively, that is….

She used to be 'just a friend' too, but I knew better after a while. She's like…my match. More than my match! She's my role model.

"It's just Nate, you know?" Lindy continued. "Like…a brother. Goofy, funny, klutzy, sings a lot…"

I smiled at her description which was surprisingly accurate.

"No one I'd actually go out with," Lindy continued. "He's not really all romantic at all. He's got a wall, you know? I mean, it's lessened lately, but relationships can't get really deep with him, you know?"

"Can you stop adding 'you know' at the end of every sentence?" asked James.

Lindy harrumphed. "Besides the point James. The point IS, I could _never ever_ love Nathanial more than we both do now. He's not exactly my knight in shining armor."

I pretended to be stabbed in the heart and made choking sounds. This was hurting…a lot…I really felt like whining…..

"Plus," Lindy continued, "Why do you think he brought us here? He certainly didn't think very carefully about it. I have a meeting with my boss tomorrow, which I'll be missing now. We'll both be gone for awhile and get grounded. Nate's just…uh…too immature for me. That's all."

I'm too immature? I've really tried to mature, really…I certainly have here…

"I get it." James sighed. "I understand what you mean. But give the guy a little leeway. He could be different, you know, from shaping up here in this other world. I mean, the elf trusted him with first watch, that certainly tells you something."

Thank-you James!

"Goodnight, I'm sleepy," Lindy snapped.

"Goodnight, your Worshipfulness," James replied, curling up on the opposite side of the fire.

----

I crawled over to my extra blanket and rested my head on my pack. Through a sudden blur in my eyes, (they were NOT TEARS! The sooner you get that idea into thy noble head, the better). I saw Lindy looking at me through the flames. She sat up and peaked over the campfire….and I pretended to be asleep. She sighed and burrowed again.

Oh…..snapsky. Sniff. Life's tough. Eat Wendy's. sniff.

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**Ah, the life of a teenager in Middle Earth. It's not going to get any easier for poor Nate.**

**MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!**


	26. And the Big, Bad Wolf came and blew

**Dear Reviewers: **

**Thankee for all yer kindness dearies! It's such a good feeling knowing people love my work. I am currently working on my own fantasy series (my own, mind you) and it…..I think….will be some of my best work! If it's ever published I'll tell you all where you can find it.**

**Oh, and I am currently making a "commercial" for THIS STORY. It's going to be very cool! Peter Pan, a friend of mine, is going to play "Nate" and my brother, sister, and I will also be in it. When I have it posted on my homepage and/or YouTube, then I will send the link and you can all see it. It's going to be GREAT! **

**Yours in Christ,**

**Pippin **

**PS: Rated T PLUS for the graphic violence. It's battle, you know! Oh…and little bit of…..fluff….. ;-)**

**Chapter 26, And the Big, Bad Wolf came and blew…**

There was a gray cloud cover near to the ground, matching my dismal mood. The fog was thick, and it was chilly, and Lindy and I did not speak for the entirety of the next day. She sensed something was up, and I could get over my own hurt feelings to talk to her. It isn't the fact that she doesn't "like like" me, but with what SHE said, how was she even my best friend?

The cloud cover was low enough, that if ANY of the Rohirrim went over a hill or a rise in the ground, their heads disappeared in the clouds. Then they looked like a fine army of headless horsemen right out of Sleepy Hollow. It almost made me laugh. Almost.

A trumpet blared. Legolas galloped out from behind me, shouting, "Wolves of Isengard!"

I drew my sword, sighed, and prepared to spur my horse on for a fine gallop. A frightened voice shouting my name stopped me.

"Nate, you aren't going to fight, are you?" Lindy came running up.

"Sorry, it's what I do here," I readied to squeeze the horse and get it started.

"I'm coming too," Lindy said determinedly, hoisting herself up.

"You don't even have a sword, and NO, YOU AREN'T COMING!" I shouted at her. The din of "Forth Eorlinglas!" heightened.

Lindy leapt back, never hearing me yell at her so seriously before.

"Eowyn, take her," I shouted, spurring my horse and shooting away like an arrow. I turned and saw that Eowyn took Lindy's arm and pulled her gently into the throng of women and children. James was lost in the crowd.

We came over the crest of a hill, and sped down it into a valley. Just then, a wind blew, and the fog seemed to flee our presence. Hideous shapes that I remembered from our campfire battle leapt over the opposite crest, and sped towards us.

The lines drew closer together. Why didn't I get some good armor? I was just wearing a spare leather jerkin of Legolas', and some arm guards lent by Aragorn. I'm such an idiot. I must be. Otherwise I think Lindy would have had something completely different to say last night!

The lines met with a crash. A wolf charged head on and collided with my horse, sending it reeling to the left. I swung my sword and plunged it deep into the wolves' neck. It choked and collapsed. It's rider, a morgul rat from Isengard, swung it's axe over is head. Instead of waving it in a circle, he flung it at me. It flew from his hand and clipped me in the arm before clambering to the ground. Blood splurted from beneath the thin shirtsleeve.

"SON OF A—GUN!" I exploded.

Something crashed against my horse and sent it plummeting to the ground. I struggled to get my feet from the stirrups. Another wolf crashed from behind, thrusting my horse to it's knees. I reeled in the saddle and swung my sword, missing it by inches. The orc leapt from his own saddle and jumped astride mine, wrapping its filthy arm around my neck and tightening his hold. With the other hand he pulled a knife from his belt and plunged it towards my throat. With the whoosh of air, he crumpled to the ground before he had the chance. A feathered arrow stuck from his skull.

Legolas nodded to me from some twenty feet away.

I recovered from the want to stop and kicked the horse with my heels, urging it into the fray once more. The horse reared and fell.

I rolled off onto the ground. The horse was dead, scarlet blood running from a deep chest wound where an axe found it's home upon his rearing.

I rushed on foot into the confusion, slashing heads off right and left. Black blood sprayed in mists from the stinking orc bodies. Suddenly, the feeling of battle gathered like a cloud and blew away in the wind. It was quiet. The Rohirrim raised their swords in victory. Bodies were strewn through the field. Dead horses and dead Riders. Legolas was discovering Aragorn's absence—I could hear his voice calling him across the moor.

I didn't want to do anything but erase it all. This wasn't like the battle against the Uruk Hai—there were more casualties, more blood, more smell.

I fell into my hands and knees and lost my breakfast (as meager as it was) on the grass. Someone touched my back.

"Better now, laddie?" said Gimli in a kind, tearful voice.

I coughed. "No."

Gimli knelt beside me and tied a rag around my arm. "We'd best be getting to Legolas. Aragorn is--"

"Don't say it," I muttered. I knew the truth, he needn't have the pain of giving the news. "I know. But since when do you believe an orc?"

Gimli nearly smiled.

I eased myself up and sighed. That poor horse. It was a good companion, it was. Now I have to walk all the way to Helm's Deep. The day only went from bad to worse.

----

We reached Helm's Deep within that late afternoon, actually, and entered the gray fortress. Everyone, and everything inside looked gray and sad.

Wait till Lindy and James see me. I'm covered in blood—both mine and orcs—and dirt, and sweat, and ripped clothing, and footsore.

"How do I look?" I asked Legolas, striking a pose.

"You look terrible," he replied.

"You could use a manicure, too, Blondie," I replied.

Legolas peered at his nails. "Whatever it is that means, I'm sure we could all use one after THAT battle."

I laughed. Legolas began to laugh too, and quickly sobered.

"Don't worry about Aragorn," I said.

"Gondor is lost," Legolas muttered something elvish and inaudible.

"Since when do you believe the tale of an Orc?" I repeated my logic. Legolas seemed to take some comfort in it.

"NATE!" cried a frantic voice. Oh, if only Lindy could mean it as I imagine that urgency and care to be _really_ like…

"Hey," I said, turning to the voice, feeling like I hadn't seen her in ages. She ran to me and fairly leaped into my arms, wrapping her arms around my neck, and burying her face in my shoulder.

"Hey, um," I loosed my hug somewhat. I thought I was unlovable.

"Sorry," Lindy said quickly. "I was really worried. You've died here once, maybe you could do it again."

"No such luck," I said softly.

Lindy heard it. "What do you mean?"

"Nothing, I was kidding," I pushed past her and found James munching some lembas. "Hey you."

"Hey YOU," James looked at me carefully. "Um, okay, Gladiator, someone needs a shower."

"Well thank-you for this information, whatever could I do without you?" I said sarcastically.

"Nate, can I talk with you a moment?" Lindy asked.

"Not now," I replied. I had no good reason. Relationships can't go very deep with me, remember?

"Please," she said softly.

"Um. Well. Okay," I said.

She took my hand and led me past throngs of refugees. Frida and her brother ran into the arms of their awaiting mother. Théoden was talking lowly to Gimli and Legolas.

She led me out of the crowds, up gigantic stone steps, and onto the outer wall, overlooking a fantastic view of Rohan. Save a few guards on duty, standing in the wind under the Rohan banners, we were alone.

"What's going on?" she asked.

"I should be asking you this."

"Maybe you should," Lindy said uneasily.

"What was all the junk you were giving James last night? Oh, don't act surprised. I heard every word. And supposing everything you said is true—why are you even still friends with me?"

Lindy suddenly whirled around, marched over the edge, and kicked the wall. "Whew, I feel better!" she declared. She turned back and ignored my bemused look.

"Here it is," she said, drawing herself up to her full (though not so tall) height. "I comepletely, totally, lied. I was sick of James bugging me. It was late at night, and I wasn't feeling well—so I probably went overboard. But James just wasn't letting up and so I blew up, and made up as much as I could as to sound convincing."

"Why go to all the trouble?" I smiled. Things were much brighter now!

"Good question," she replied.

"Why lie to his face if you weren't hiding something?" I took a step closer.

"None of your beeswax," she said hastily.

"I'm your best friend," I argued. "Why not?"

"Because…I've uh…got a secret!" Lindy came up with lamely, taking another step back.

I advanced. "Admit it, Lindy, you like me!"

"Nevah!" Lindy snapped in an accent.

"Why else would you say the complete opposite to James?" I laughed. "Besides—you aren't the only one with a secret."

"What do you mean?" Lindy said in an uninterested voice, turning her back on me and watching the pink and gold sun set. Hmmm. The wind is blowing, we're in a castle, the sun is setting—rather romantic, no?

"I'll tell you my secret," I said.

"Oh…"

"I like you too!"

Lindy whirled around, squealing, "Really?" ever so excitedly. Gotcha.

"Ha, you do like me," I said.

"Nope!" she replied.

"You do."

"I don't."

"You do!"

"I don't, Nathanial--"

"WELL I DO!"

I wrapped her in my arms and sealed it with a kiss.

"OH for Heaven's sake!" shouted James voice. He was just coming up the stairs. "It's about time. I hereby proclaim you to both being rotten friends because both of you are dirty rotten liars! Have a nice life." He turned and vanished.

"Does this mean I'm your girlfriend?" Lindy asked shyly.

"Nah," I replied. "Your turns over. Where's Eowyn?"

"Jerkosaurus," Lindy sighed.

"Perty lady," I replied. Jeez! I'm so sappy I could be syrup!

"Nathanial, I need to speak with you," came Legolas' voice.

"Coming Your Honor," I replied. "That was a once in a long time deal," I said to Lindy. "Sorry. Spur of the moment. Let's not do that again till we've actually established a lasting relationship?"

"Sounds fine," Lindy reached over and took my hand. "I can do this, though, right?"

"If you want," I said nonchalantly.

She pulled back and found her hand was covered in blood and grime. "SICK!" she screeched.

"Farewell, for a moment, milady," I bowed and fled.

As soon I was out of her sight I pumped a fist, shouting, "YES!" and did some sort of jump and landed me on my backside. I went searching for the Elf singing "She loves ya" at the top of my lungs.


	27. Helm's Deep, part one

**Thanks for all the delightful reviews! Homecoming is this week so I will not be updating quite as regularly, so in two weeks or so, things will be back to normal. I got the coolest, most awesome dress in the world. It's gold with sheer black silk over it, so it gives it a very antique look. It's a cocktail length with a handkerchief trim, V-neck, spaghetti straps, and slender waistline with gathered fabric over it. Its so STINKING SUH WEET. Which is a good thing—because I hate dresses. Homecoming, actually, is the only time of the year where I will wear a dress voluntarily instead of wearing them held at gunpoint. Hehe jk. Still, I'm fancy about once a year. Then it's just shirts and jeans for me. **

**Anyways, hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**Pippin

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**PS: Moo!

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**Disclaimer: I do not own anything from Aladdin, The Never Ending Story, or Gladiator.

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**(Well, I disclaimed, they never tell you what you need to disclaim, though! Happy?)

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****Chapter 27, Rain drops keep a fallin! Helm's Deep, pt. 1**

Lindy came loping towards me, looking rather like a pirate. She'd borrowed a over-sized shirt and wore it loose over jeans, and borrowed small boots from a Rider. She pulled her favorite studded belt off and threw it over her shoulder to hold an honorary, short sword that she'd been given for self defense.

"Well, dearie, have we had a wardrobe explosion?" I asked easily, running my sword over the turning stone to sharpen it.

"Very funny," she said. "Nate, please don't tell me I'm going to be sent to the caves."

"Alright, I'll have Legolas do it, then," I shrugged and concentrated on my sword.

"You mean I am?" she hollered.

"Well, yes, all the girls are."

"But Eowyn--"

"Eowyn, too, Lindy. It's for safety. Don't argue with me."

"Nate, I can fight too, really! I've like, memorized all the sword fights in LOTR, Pirates, Star Wars--"

"That doesn't matter. I don't give a darn, Lindy," I sheathed my sword and put both hands on her shoulders. "I don't give a darn about how much you want to be in the romantic adventurous battle of Helm's Deep. We both know they win a glorious victory, but a lot of people are going to die tonight. I don't want one of them to be you. You'll get your chance before the end—trust me."

Lindy turned abruptly and marched away, joining the slow tide of frightened women and children wandering into the cave entrance.

"Not even a goodbye?" I asked sadly. Girls are like hurricanes—they rush in, do their damage, and leave you with a major cleanup job.

Lindy whirled around and ran back, giving me the biggest bear hug I'd ever received in my life, whispered, "Be safe," then retraced her steps to the caves.

I stared after her for a moment.

"Dude, you've got it BAD," James remarked. "Real bad."

I shook it off. "Hmm…"

James pulled out a worn, strong sword and began swinging lazily back and forth.

"You're fighting?" I was somewhat surprised.

"Might as well put fencing lessons to good use," James mumbled.

"You've had FENCING lessons?"

"Well, rich people like us need something to pass the time and spend--"

I waved a hand. I knew the speech. Privileged children like James need something to spend money on and pass the time.

"And I'm not a privileged child," snapped James.

"How did you know I was thinking that?"

"Because you say that every time you find out about my latest hobby, and you didn't this time, but you had a smug look on your face."

There was a short silence.

"Moo," I finally broke it.

"You think we'll make it?" James said with a laugh.

I put an arm around him and gave him a hug. "Jamsie, we've been friends for eight years. We've been in bad scrapes before. We can make it fine."

"Don't call me Jamsie!"

"Jim?"

"No."

"Jimmy?"

"No!"

"You're no fun," I sniffed. The sun shed it's last inch of light on Rohan, then slipped and fell behind the horizon. The purple clouds turned black.

Someone blew the horn to ready for battle.

"And so it begins," said James, giving his sword a couple more swings for good measure.

----

Thunder rumbled.

The army stood braced at the wall and was completely silent. Tiny lights dotted the fields below.

Plink.

The first raindrop clinked against the armor.

Plink plink. A few more raindrops decided to land on my head and slide behind my armor and fall cold against my neck.

Within seconds, the harsh rain clattered against everyone's armor, steam rose from the frightened army. Torches hissed and were put out.

The tiny lights grew larger and came closer. Aragorn broke the surreal silence, shouting directions both in the common speech, and the rohirric.

"Aye, what I would give for some of my own folk, fighting and filthy! Do you not wish for your own kinsfolk, Legolas?" Gimli could never stop grumbling—even on the eve of the bloodiest battle in Middle Earth.

"I do not think they would come," Legolas said sadly, peering into the rain.

A whiny, screaming horn sounded. The Uruk-Hai gathered on the ground below, breathing in hoarse growls and beating their fists upon their shields and chests.

Suddenly there was a cry. A Uruk-Hai fell dead.

"HOLD!" shouted Aragorn.

A timid old man with arthritis looked at him in ultimate fear and apology. His arrow had slipped from his shaking hand.

----

"FIRE!" yelled Aragorn after nearly ten minutes had passed. The Uruk-Hai had begun bringing ladders to the walls. The battle started with not much mayhem. We shot, they fell. Then the first ladder was brought up.

Orcs poured from it, flooding the parapet like stinging ants. James was lost in the crowd. I rushed into the flood and swung my sword this way and that, killing orcs right and left. A nearly dead one reached out and tripped me. I threw up as I fell, already wishing the darkness the wrenching smell of blood to end. I knew that I had the rest of the night to go.

It felt like hours past. We ran. We killed. We shouted. We were hit, beaten, and shoved right and left. There was a pause in the fight, the orcs had drawn back—no more ladders were being risen. What was happening? Where was Legolas and Gimli? Aragorn had disappeared. I couldn't remember what happened next. I racked my brain for their next move.

The most deafening explosion rocked the wall into pieces, throwing the boulders into the air. The wall was gone. The fire from the gunpowder ignited, a second explosion resounded. The wall shook beneath me and was suddenly gone.

Fleeting thoughts rent through my shaken mind as I plummeted to the ground, many, many feet below. Something wrenched against me and I felt cold, hard ground. Something stepped on me. Water washed over me. Was I dying? I couldn't feel anything, I could barely see through the rain and darkness.

I pulled myself on my elbows and tried to comprehend my position. I had fallen into the outlet of water. Orcs were stepping on me in their hurry into the Hornburg, mistaking me for a dead thing. I tried to stand and found I couldn't.

I twisted around onto my back, finding a huge boulder squeezing my left leg between it and what was left of the wall. Crap.

I tried to pull it out. I was stuck. Double crap!

"Nathanial, get out!" cried Legolas, suddenly appearing, grabbing me and trying to hoist me out. "We have to move into the innermost circle. We've overrun. Come on!"

My vision was going dark. When I tried to sit up my head felt so heavy I fell back into the water. It felt very, very cool.

Gimli ran ahead, taking care of the orcs that happened to stray too far left and near to us. Aragorn led another onset to greet the invading Uruks.

"Aragorn!" cried Legolas, "Gimli, he needs you. Go. I'll get Nathanial."

"I can get out myself, Leggy," I snapped. "Go for it. Don't wait for me."

"I'm sorry!" Legolas said shortly, running to Aragorn's aide. He's just going to have to trust me. Heh. I know. It seems a lot to ask.

I tried to pull my leg from between the rock and wall. It was stuck fast. Grimacing and clenching my teeth, I pulled my knife from my belt and began hacking at the gravel and dirt emebedded around my leg. Several times I missed and sliced myself instead.

"Come on," I whispered. "Jesus, move the stone, please," the knife was notched. I tossed it aside and tried to lean forward, digging away beneath my leg to loose it.

An orc took a sidestep, suddenly noticing a poor soul stuck by a rock. He grinned and snickered, rushing to me, and raising his axe above his head. I waited.

Just as he brought it down, I threw myself to the right. It twisted my leg in the most painful shape that it really should never have gone into in the first place.

His axe went right where I hoped it would—between the top of the rock and the wall. When he pulled it out in frustration, the rock was loosed. I grabbed my knife. The rock shifted and started to roll away down the hill. I flipped onto my stomach, sat up, and drive the dull blade into the stomach of the orc. It toppled over, quite dead as any orc should be.

I crawled on my hands and knees down the rise, sticking to the edge of the courtyard to avoid getting into anything….unnecessary.

I used the wall to raise myself to my feet. My leg felt twisted and heated. I staggered as best I could back into battle, drawing my sword. I kept almost falling. I finally braced myself and put weight on it.

And other than the fact it seemed to be bending the wrong direction, or maybe I was just imagining it, I could do without too much difficulty.

How long the fight lasted, I don't know. I fought with all I had—sometimes it felt like with what little was left of me—until something hit me hard in the head and the world flashed black before my eyes. Exhaustion and dizziness took over until I fell and could not get up again.

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**Sorry, kind of a cliffie hanger there. Hope you all liked it! READ AND REVIEW! I WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!**


	28. Helm's Deep, part two

**Dear Reviewers: **

**Oh goodness! I didn't think it was THAT bad of a cliffie, lol. Sorry. Thank-you for all your nice reviews and welcome to those who are new. (round of applause) Anyways, welcome aboard, and here is your well-earned update!**

**Pippin**

**PS: terrenchi, thank-you so much for your VERY kind compliment, but I must ask if you will please not use the D word or other words like that—I have some younger reviewers and I want to keep this as clean as possible. Thank-you so much for reviewing and participation, and consideration of my request.

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**Chapter 28, Nearly Over! **

**Helm's Deep, part two

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"Aye, Snaga, victory is ours! Sound the horn and make preparations to storm the gate."

"They've got the inner door all blocked up!"

"Garn, the cowards are hiding, eh? We'll fish em out, quiet like. Most of em are all dead anyways. The horse rats won't live to see the dawn."

"It is going to be dawn very soon, though, and their still inside--"

"Shut up, you miserable uruk rat. We're on our way. I wouldn't torch them bodies yet. We still may have some sport yet…"

The voices trailed away. I opened my eyes to a dark blue sky—not black, but fading with light touches of daylight. Dawn was almost there and as soon as it was, Rohan would ride out to meet the Uruks, and Eomer would arrive. I wished it had happened before I woke up. For some reason the Mission Impossible theme was running through my head.

I was thoroughly disgusted when I found that I was strewn across an open space near the Deeping Wall with many dead bodies. I struggled to sit up and leaned against the wall, wondering what I should do. Should I pretend to be dead? Would it be cowardice? The orcs were several feet away, and walking further away, and hadn't noticed me yet. My sword lay some six feet away.

I lowered myself onto my belly and crawled forward, inch by inch, till my fingers were lightly touching the swords hilt. I was just pulling it towards me when a large, hairy, armored foot slammed onto my wrist. I shouted something inaudible and tried to pull my hand away. I looked up into the face of a very smelly, green orc.

"Trying to be heroic, aren't we, horse rat?" he laughed evilly.

My mind scrambled for something to say—or anything to think.

He pulled his foot away, grabbed me by the front of my shirt, and lifted me right off the ground and rasped into my face.

"You Rohan beasts think you own the world! We're here to teach you otherwise. We're the fighting Uruk Hai! And your little friends, supposedly loyal, are hiding in their fortress now." He shook his fists and dropped me on the ground. I groaned and felt completely and utterly hopeless. My wrist felt broken, my left felt like fire. My head swam with the smells and dizziness.

"It's in me nature to kill you, and kill you now, with a nice slow insertion of my sword through your chest," laughed the Uruk. "However, seeing you little beasties suffer rather entertains me, I think I'm just going to sit here--" he plopped down on top of a rock. "And watch ye for awhile."

I curled up as best as I could and pressed my face into the grass. My breath felt short and haggard—like my lungs had shrunk. I opened my eyes a moment and noticed the edge of the sun peeking over the hilltop...

---

Gimli blew the horn and it echoed so loudly, the orc forgot me and took off, running for his comrades. The sound of hooves echoed over the stone.

"Finally!" I thought, lifting my head. So far, so good. I began humming "Revelation Song" under my breath, crawled forward, and found my sword. Sheathing it, I used the wall to hoist myself up.

"And the world spins round and round and round," I sang rather off-key, the world tilting from left to right.

I took a few baby steps and reached the edge of the gaping hole in the wall. On the other side, Rohan was obliterating the Uruk Hai.

---

Eomer and Gandalf appeared in the distance—the hill was NOT as steep as I thought it would be—and galloped to meet the enemy. I saw Legolas, near the wall, flying arrows out quicker than a roadrunner on ice. I drew my sword again and limped to his side.

"GOOD MORNING, CAP'N!" I shouted over the din.

"VALAR! You're ALIVE!" Legolas shouted, freezing in shock.

"More or less," I replied. "Disappointed?"

"HARDLY!" cried Legolas, smiling. He shouted towards a silver sword gleaming in the sunlight. "Aragorn, he's alive!"

The silver sword froze. "Who?"

"Nathanial!"

The sword began its work again. A wall of Uruks were cut down and Aragorn stood on the other side, a grin across his face. "Good to see you again!"

"And I you!" My sword was knocked from my hand. "Oops!"

James appeared from nowhere shot my adversary. "Nothing ever really changes, does it?"

"Goodness," I cried, ducking from an axe blow and snatching my sword from the ground. "From my best friend I expected something a little deeper."

Someone shouted "VICTORY!" and everyone cheered loudly.

James slipped my arm around his shoulders and helped me support my weight as we walked in the direction of the main gate. He pushed me down and said sternly, "SIT!"

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I was left alone for while. And then I got bored. Aragorn was scurrying about healing severely injured folks. Women and children were, very slowly, emerging from the caves and looking for their loved ones. Horrid screams and tears rent through the morning as women discovered whom they had lost. Children cried at the sight of people who'd lost legs and arms waiting for treatment. It wasn't at all like the glorious victory of Helm's Deep that I pictured.

"Excuse me," Lindy came up to me, worry written all over her face. "Can you tell me where to find Nathanial? He's a funny redhead, he should be around here somewhere."

"Lindy!" I exclaimed, grabbing her hand and pulling her down so that she sat next to me. "It's me!"

Lindy put a hand on either side of my face and tried to smile. "Uh uh!"

"YES HUH!" I replied.

"ohmigosh," was all she could say.

"What's wrong with me?" I asked sourly.

"Well lessee," James walked over and sat on the other side of me. "Your hair looks brown because it lots of dirt and blood in it. Your face is covered in mud. From the knee down your entire left leg looks like it went through a shredder--"

"JAMES, no details!" I'd avoided looking at it all morning.

"And you've got…well….looks like barf all over your clothes."

"Well let's just say blood doesn't suit me well," I explained.

"Well, then it was brilliant coming back for Helm's Deep, wasn't it?" James said in a Captain Obvious kind of voice.

"I am so, so glad you're alive," Lindy put her hand in mine. "I'd hug you…but…"

I squeezed her hand. "I'm glad YOUR alive too. But…..if I die really soon from blood poisoning, blood loss, severe concussion brain damage, or--"

"Stupidity?" tried James.

"It should be on your conscience that you didn't hug me before I died," I laughed.

Lindy gasped and covered her ears.

For some odd reason, I started singing "DRINK UP ME HEARTIES YO HO!" very loudly.

"You got hit harder than I thought," James offered kindly.

"Don't be worried, James," Lindy said in a sweet voice. "He's odd like this all the time!"

"AND PROUD OF IT," I replied.

"Nathanial," Legolas appeared out of nowhere. "Come with me. I'm going to find you a fresh pair of clothes and have a healer Woman bandage your wounds."

"Take me away, Dracula," I pretended to cry.

"This is not funny," Legolas said seriously. "If those aren't treated now, you could die."

Lindy made a choking sound and gave me a huge hug—blood, dirt, other things, and all, then turned and walked away sadly.

"Really?" I whispered in a slightly worried voice. I didn't really want to die—again.

"No," Legolas smiled almost evilly. "But the lass doesn't know that."

"LEGLESS SPINACH LEAF," shouted Lindy. "I heard that!"

"Compliment?" asked Legolas, confused.

"I think not," I said.

----

As James helped me up a small flight of stairs, I wondered what was next. Would we be whisked away from Middle Earth any time soon? It seemed to happen just before, or right after, battles. Would we get to stay for, well, what we all knew it as, "The Return of the King"? I didn't miss my home one bit. James and Lindy didn't speak of it anymore. I had a horrible, horrible feeling that soon, it would be time to go back…

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**Read and Review or I'll be really sad. You know how WONDERFUL and author feels when he/she gets some reviews? It's the coolest feeling ever. It's one of my favorite things to do right after school. It makes me feel appreciated:-)**

**Please review!**

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	29. We're Off to See the Wizard!

**Hey everybody, thanks for the reviews! Sorry it's taken so long to update. We've had a great snow and we've been playing in it and doing family stuff, so I've been sorta busy. But no worries! I'm baaaack!**

**Pippinator

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Disclaimer: Has anyone else seen War of the Worlds? It's sooooo good...and I don't own it. Okay, okay, fine, I don't own LOTR either. Happy??? Satisfied you broke my heart???

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**Chapter 29, We're Off to See the Wizard!**

"Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaathan…" said a voice. "Hellooooooooo."

"Hi," I replied, stretching.

You know, stone rocks are just fabulous for sleeping on. Forget mattresses, I'm sleeping outdoors from now on.

"Feeling better?"

"As well as can be expected," I couldn't help grinning. Lindy was looking worried, as usual. Dude, that girl is SUCH a worrywart…hehe…

"Can you stand on your leg now?" she asked.

"Yeah, after it got popped back into place, it was fine," I said, enunciating the word "popped".

"Eew!" Lindy cried in a horrified voice.

"And I am NOT going to repeat what 'popped' out of HIS mouth when it did," laughed James nearby.

"Hey, what gets said in the torture chamber, STAYS in the torture chamber," I shot back.

"What'd you say?" giggled Lindy.

"Nothing you need to hear," I laughed.

"You should have seen the look on Legolas' face," added James.

She held out a hand and helped me up.

"Whoo!" the cuts all over my leg stung, but they weren't deep. Suddenly I remembered my perty little horsey died. I stuck out my lip. Now I'd have to walk!

Théoden rode through, summoning the people. "Eorlinglas! People of Rohan! We ride on to Isengard. The women and children are to stay here. We go on to Negotiate with our Enemy."

"I am NOT STAYING THIS TIME!" Lindy planted her tiny hands on her tiny hips and looked equivalent to a four year old demanding a lollipop.

Théoden paused his horse. "It's my orders too--"

"I'm not a person of Rohan," Lindy snapped. "I respect your leadership, but I am not going to be separated from my friends. You…you…" she scrambled for a threat or something. "You'd have to tie me in a sack and throw me in a river to keep me from coming along!"

"Hobbit," muttered Gimli.

Theoden looked annoyed. He turned away as if to ignore her. Then he turned and shook a finger at me, growling, "She is under your care. Your responsibility."

Déjà vu! Elrond said the same thing to me when Pippin insisted joining the fellowship. With a pang, I remembered the old days. Boromir and me hanging out, Frodo and Sam, Gandalf and Gimli bickering, Aragorn and Legolas speaking in elvish together, my little hobbit buddies playin' around…

"Righto," I replied, shooting a glare at Lindy. "We'll ride double."

"On what horse?" James snickered.

"You," Lindy laughed hysterically.

---

_A few days later…_

Ha! I have the power to skip long boring journeys where nothing interesting happens! Woohoo! Behold my freaky author powers! Bow, insolent peasant…okay….I'm done…………………………………………………………………………………

I feel so dumb now…

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Isengard! It was long, black, needlish, like a big long finger, pointing to the sky. It was iron black, or black ebony, or iron ebony, or everything. Did I mention is was really tall, skinny, and black with teeth like objects on top? Look like it could eat just about ANYTHING, like puppies. Aw, I miss puppies. They're cute and play fetch and slobber all over. Darn ADD. What was I talking about? Hmmm…Isengard.

We arrived mid-morning, passed a big finger statue covered with blood, (I can see why they didn't put THAT in the movie, it looked like it had been spit on with blood from the Alien tripods in War of the Worlds.)

Then we went inside, there was nearly two feet of water, and junk floating all over. Aragorn got to lead the bunch, with Gandalf, and Theoden, and Eomer, and Legolas, and Gimli, and well—all the important people, anyways.

We three were banished to the back row. I was beginning to feel more and more like luggage. Ever since the fellowship broke, it seemed I kind of lost my place in Middle Earth—know what I mean? I was just a Mary Sam now who falls in love with my best friend. In doing so, my presence is pointless. I've gone and matured and learned some valuable life lessons, so what's the point of being teleported to a fictional world? I'm just a bucket of confusion. Someone do something, quick! AAAAH!!

We're off to see the Wizard, the grumpy ol' Wizard of Isengard, because because because because of the horrible things he'd done…We're off to see the Wizard, the grumpy Wizard of Isengard, because because because because we're gonna kick his butt…

"Nate," Lindy hissed. "Stop singing, people are looking at you."

"Please don't tell me that was out loud."

"Oh, more than out loud, my friend. Try sounding magnified throughout the valley as if you had an invisible microphone. Could you NOT hear yourself???"

"NO, I thought I was just thinking it."

"What could have you be so deep in thought you can't hear yourself sing? What were you thinking about?"

"Nothing, Lindy, nothing. Stop squeezing my waist, you'll break something."

"I don't want to fall off the darn horse."

"Squeeze harder, I'll push you off!"

"You wouldn't!"

"Yeah, not really. Just easy on my ribs? I'm a little sore."

"Sorry," Lindy loosened her rather panicky hold. "I forgot you're a Middle Earth warrior."

_Try a middle-earth loser.

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**Hey everyone, sorry so short, hope you liked it! Read and Review or I'll be VERY SAD!!!!**


	30. They're taking the Hobbit's to Isengard!

**Hey, I've got a surprise. I'm actually going to respond personally to each and every one of my reviews! (For those of you kind enough to review chapter twenty-nine, rather than read and hit the exit button!)

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**Alenor P: **lol. I know Nate seems to be healing "quicker" than most, but it really isn't as bad as it seems. Each description from Nate's perspective will seem worse and way more painful than it really is because of the panic in the moment and battle adrenaline rush. But just for you, Nate is going to feel a little miserable in this chappie. ;-)

**XtalonX: **Throw me in any river you want! I'm…uh….a mermaid! Yeah, that's it, a mermaid! It won't make no difference! Hehe!

**Spaztic Arwen: **We were separated at birth or something! Lol. I LOVE writing papers about things like that for school. Forget papers about the American Revolution and bring on the movie industry! (I wrote a ten page paper about the original Star Wars, a New Hope)

**Scissorhero: **lol I could tell you were hyper off something! I was a little worried when you said you were high…I was relieved when I realized it was just lack of sleep, cuz its not dangerous to your health—not yet, anyways. Hehe. Thanks for your supporting reviews; yours are the ones I really look forward too!

**Shelly Holmes: **Aw, you're very kind to send in a kind word for Nathan. You're reviews are always the sweetest ones. Thanks for being such a nice person and reviewer!

**Mad Mistress of Death: **Wow, what a compliment! Sacrificed homework for this story! What a thought. I hope you don't get in too much trouble. I admit, I'm intrigued by your penname. Mad Mistress of Death—hmmm. Are you like a ninja warrior? Voodoo doctor? Mafia Ringleader? (lol jk) Happy January!

**Laer: **Aw, you've always left such short and sweet comments. The Oz song is not copyrighted; feel free to sing it wherever and whenever! (lol, like you'd WANT to sing THAT hehe)

**Spellcaster Hikaru**: I admit, I'd never felt so flustered when people actually took the "Mary Sam" literally! Lol. I was like, "Wait, wait, it's a joke! The title is a joke! AAH!" It's pretty crazy, huh? Be sure not to scare anyone with the "Oz Remix!" lol.

**Ki: **ME LOVE COOKIE!!!! MAKE ME MORE!!!!

**Crazyroninchic: **YAY, a new reviewer! Welcome to the story! I hope you enjoy this chapter. Be sure to check in my profile or homepage.

**Matthew Buddy from School: **I know you're out there! MUHAHAHAH! You just haven't reviewed YET! I challenge ye to a duel! En guarde!

**Crecy: **He loves candy and is very happy to oblige you by eating it. I'll eat it for him, actually, because I authored, so, send some more?? ;-)

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**Disclaimer: **

**Tolkien writeth, **

**Tolkien owneth, **

**even tho, **

**Tolkien deadeth. **

**God giveth,**

**God taketh,**

**God giveth LOTR**

**To Peter Jackson. **

**God giveth, **

**God taketh,**

**God taketh 'the Hobbit'**

**Back from Jackson.

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**WOW, chapter THIRTY, everyone! It's suprising the story has made it this far, considering it's bumpy start! And it's all the reviewers, really, cuz I won't write unless I have reviewers support! **

**God bless!

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**Authors note: This chapter title is based on the FUNNIEST SONG IN HISTORY, called, "They're taking the Hobbits to Isengard". Go to YouTube and type in the search engine THEY'RE TAKING THE HOBBITS TO ISENGARD! (just not in Capslock lol)

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**30, They're Taking the Hobbit's to Isengard! **

"_They're taking the hobbits to Isengard! To Isengard! They're taking the hobbits to Isengard! Gard G-G-G-Gard!"_

"Nate," whispered Lindy. "Everyone is--"

"_A balrog of Morgoth! What'd he say? A Balrog of Morgoth! STUPID FAT HOBBIT! They're taking the Hobbit's to Isengard, to Isengard, Isengard, da da daaaa, da na na na na…"_

"Nathan," hissed James. "Stop singing. First the Wizard song, now this. Even Legolas is--"

"Staring at me like I am insane? Guilty as charged!" I was feeling sort of hyper from lack of sleep and whenever me ol' battle wounds become a bother I often sang.

"WELCOME!" said a hobbity sort of voice as we drew near the gate. "Welcome, milords, to Isengard. Treebeard is currently in charge as of this moment and will take your questions."

"YE LITTLE RASCALS!" Gimli hollered up front.

I urged my horse forward and to the right, winding through the crowd to see my friends. "Here, take the reigns," I said to Lindy, dismounting. I hit the ground and fell flat.

"Klutz," Lindy giggled fondly.

I panted for a second. Freaky darn leg! I pushed myself up and managed to limp most of the way up front.

"Hey my little buddies!" I shouted.

Merry's mouth dropped open. "You were dead!!!!"

"Yup, but I'm baaaaack!" I tripped and stumbled up a small incline.

Pippin held out a tiny hand and hoisted me up the small ledge. "You're really alive??? Not a ghost?"

"Yes, I AM a ghost, and I've come back for my revenge!" I lunged at them. They squeaked in surprise but I just gave them a big bear hug. They hugged me back tightly and had smiles stretched across their faces.

"You are NOT, you were joking," Pippin said, startled.

"Thank-you Einstein." I replied. "So, how are you? Better now that you've hung with some trees?"

Treebeard himself was soon leering over the wall and engaging the Important People in a conversation. Huh. Hello to you too.

"Well, if you put it that way," mumbled Merry. "Mostly it feels all like one big dream! But I guess there's no waking up for this one."

"I've missed ya," I said fondly.

"We've missed you too," they said, smiling.

"I don't suppose Boromir..." started Pip sadly.

"No," I finished. "He's gone."

There was a sad silence. I tried to shake it off. "So, what's been going on?"

"We've had a chance to return to the Shire." said Pip.

"But we decided to stay and finish up this war!" cried Merry gallantly.

"Good for you," I said. "Return to the Shire, eh? I've been home once or twice since we all set out from Rivendell together. I've brought some friends."

On cue, Lindy pulled up on my horse and James followed, looking incredulous.

"Merry, Pippin, my most favorite hobbit buddies, these are my dear friends, Lindy and James."

"Hullo!" Lindy said, trying to contain Mary-Sueish laughter. "Gosh, you are so cute," she couldn't contain at least one outburst.

James snorted. "Hobbits. It's great to finally meet some."

"Well," said Pippin loftily, "I'm flattered." Merry nudged him. I sat between them and put an arm around each.

"See these little people, Lindy?" I said proudly. "We've been through many a scrape together. We're the klutzes and village idiots of the group."

"Speak for yourself," said Merry. "Don't believe a thing he says, Milady."

"Did you get hurt, Nate?" asked Pip worriedly.

"Sure," I replied nonchalantly.

"Well…?"

"Okay, so something sort of popped out of joint in my knee, but they fixed that, so it kinda hurts right now. I have some knife wounds up and down the lower leg, but the knife was dull, so they aren't deep at all, but they sting. And I have bruised ribs. But other than that, I'm fine."

"Riiiiiiiiight," Merry said. "And I'm a hobbit lass."

"At last, you've admitted it!" I chortled. He smacked my head.

"Okay, okay," I raised my hands. "It's hard to breath, my leg hurts like he—heck, and I feel like I'm going TO DIE! Satisfied?"

"Have an ale," Pippin replied.

"I don't drink. Remember? I drink Milk from cows? Or Rockstar's? BUT YOU DON'T HAVE ANY? Moo?"

"Is he insane?" Merry asked Lindy. She shrugged uncertainly.

"Hobbits sound much more Twenty-First century than I ever would have expected," informed James, sounding bored.

"Nathan, would you do the honor of translating your acquaintance?" asked Pippin, casting a funny look at James.

"On second thought," James changed his mind.

"I have a feeling we're going to all get along splendidly," Lindy said in a cheesy voice.

_FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER_

"James, please, let me get a word in edgewise! You and Pip are so chattery!" Merry exclaimed.

"I speak when I wanna, hobbit," snapped James.

"And there were Oliphaunts all in one cage?" cried Pippin. "Why can't WE have zoos!"

"Because you wouldn't want to go to a caged place to see orcs, would ya?" offered Lindy, who frankly understood very little of the conversation and just wanted to say something.

"And we've got orcs in our zoos?" I asked, laughing.

"Oh, shutup!" cried Lindy and Pippin at the same time.

_THIRTY MINUTES LATER_

"…and then Treebeard placed us guard at the gate, to greet all of your arrival," Merry concluded, folding his hands placidly on his lap.

"The Pipeweed certainly evens our score," murmered Gimli contentedly. "And now for that blasted Saruman."

"Must we???" I whined, pretending to hide my boredness from sitting and doing nothing but talking for three chapters or so.

"Not you, Little Brother," Aragorn stood and patted my shoulder. "This is adults work today. Gandalf, I, Théoden, and the others will go."

"But, surely we're not getting left behind," hollered Merry and Pippin. "We've just found you again!"

Aragorn stopped, torn.

"I think they will come to no harm," Legolas assured him quietly. "Against Gandalf the White, Saruman will be no match. Let them all come."

"Against my will, you understand," Aragorn said patiently.

"You're not king quite yet, not legally, anyway," Legolas said, a smile straining at his lips. "Until then I may provoke you however I like."

"And then he condemns you to the rack—excellent work, Legolas," hurrumphed Gimli. "And then I go back to my hall. Fine turn out that should be!"

The rest of us were just watching with bemused faces, Lindy burst out laughing hysterically.

"Yes, yes, of course," Aragorn waved a hand. "But we go carefully, and we listen only to Our Wizard. And no funny business." Whether he directed this to me, Pippin, or a flying green monkey licking a lemon lollipop, no one will EVER know.

"We're off to see the Wizard," I started.

"Nathan!" Aragorn whirled around.

"Right. Sorry. Shutting up."

Silence.

"Do you know the Muffin Man, the Muffin Man--"

"NATHANIAL."

"Oh, right, I trying to contemplate every meaning of the term Silent As The Grave," I wanna be a pirate. Really badly. Arg.

"Nathanial, are you well?" asked Legolas, almost wishing to hear that yes, I was deathly ill and would leave for Never Land very quickly.

"Verily I SING TO YOU!" I erupted, pulling Lindy's arm through mine and pretending I was walking down an aisle. "Drink up, me hearties, YO--"

"HO!" finished Lindy, thinking I was still singing. When her little squeak seemed to break a valuable silence, she reddened and looking like turtle recoiling in its shell. Wait, do turtles recoil? What a FUNNY THOUGHT!

"Please," Aragorn said. "You have lost all chances. Utter one more sound of any kind, and you'll stay behind while we negotiate. Savvy?"

I clapped my hands over my mouth to keep myself from retorting about quoting from Pirates of the C directly and not knowing it.

My ADD must really be getting to me today. I hadn't remembered being so random since the day I saw a purple pig…….in a crooked house….with a crooked man and a crooked cat….kind of like Disney. If I were a Disney star I'd sing through my nose. But I don't, because I'm not that bad at singing. Wait…where was I?

Um, if Saruman tried to probe my mind or something and put a spell on me, it CERTAINLY wouldn't work, because my mind was currently full of stuff—thank-you very much. Full of things like applesauce, phone calls, and the Jaws theme song.

And soon, I was once again stuck on that one song…

_They're taking the hobbits to Isengard! Isengard! AAAAH!!!!!

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**Sorry so random everyone! It's one of those ADD days, I guess! God bless and don't forget to watch that YouTube video "They're taking the hobbits to Isengard!"

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**PS: For you younger reviewers, the video isn't bad at all. Its just LOTR scenes set to original music actually sung by the characters from the movie. There is no language, innuendo, violence, etc. ;-)**


	31. Saruman Voiceovers and Mind Thoughts

**Hey Reviewers! Sorry it took me so long to update! I was updating my otra historia (other story) about a Jedi-Superhero mutant! It's pretty darn cool! Go read it if you like. Anyways, how ya'll doing? Doing good? Here's my advice: Watch the movie "Facing the Giants" it was the most refreshing, clean, spiritually non-corny football movie EVER MADE and it was FANTASTIC!**

**Tootles!**

**--Pippinator!

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**PS: hey, this is kind of the point where it merges into "Return of the King". I didn't even really notice it. I like that…..it blends aaaaaaall togeeeeether!!!!

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**Chapter 31, Saruman Voiceovers and Mind Thoughts**

I stood knee-deep in the water, biting my lip to keep a song from bursting out. Gandalf would readily kill me with a whack to the head if I did. Maybe he wouldn't have to…I was feeling weak and sore enough.

"Let me up," I whined silently to Lindy. She grinned evilly and shook her head.

"You're butt is NOT that big," I muttered. "There'd be plenty of room if you'd move over a little."

Lindy looked very offended and scooted forward, giving me enough room to hoist myself up and get settled behind her. You'd think I just paid her a compliment. I guess I'll just never understand girls.

"Show yourself," mumbled Aragorn, staring intently to the doorway of the iron tower, looking bleak and fang-like. A fang with a lot of cavities.

A voice, deep and droning on and on, like Mr. Movie, began speaking in friendly tones throughout the courtyard.

"You have fought many wars and slain many men, Théoden King," a wizardly, white, and wickedly old, old man appeared at the pinnacle of the Orthanc. "…and made peace afterwards. Can we not take counsel together as we once did, my old friend? Can we not have peace, you and I?"

Théoden made a speech about peace. It was rather inspiring. I am too lazy, and too bored to write it, forgive the author. _She won't listen to what I wantssss her to do! Stupid author!_

My attention wandered—not the best thing to do while under the scrutiny of a wizard—but the diplomatic discussion between two grumpy, old men who do good magic and bad magic was thoroughly boring me. I was itching to get on, but I didn't know why. I should be enjoying every step of this journey. I wasn't. I felt like I was losing my place in the book, slowly fading from existence. No one wanted me here, did they?

_So, Nathanial ,a boy far from your true home—in a place you will never understand—you are finally discovering who you are and what your purpose is in this life. That's good, very good. A young lad ought to know these things. But you still have many questions. But you've known—you've always known—from the beginning, I'll help you in any way I can, though I despise you some of the time. _

Well, it HAD to be Gandalf. Who else wants to help me and despises me? Saruman may despise me, but he certainly wouldn't help me.

_I don't know what to do, _I thought. _Everyone seems too busy…I know, I know, we're in war, and all, but I don't seem to make anyone laugh anymore. Boromir laughed and joked with me, and still was serious when he NEEDED to be serious. Now everyone is serious all the time. Am I just depressed or something? I guess this happens sometimes…guys have moody days too…_

_Trust me, _said the voice. _It's time for you to return home. Then, upon you're return, they will realize how important you are to them. How much they've missed you. They will never take you for granted again. They'll all love you more than ever before—even Gandalf the Foolish._

_Whoah! I thought this was Gandalf. Who is this?_

_One who watches you from above… _Saruman's gaze flickered from Gandalf…to me. I shivered under his glare.

_Forget it, Santa. You can't help me. _

_I can, and I will, if you will only let me. Nathanial, I can do so much for you._

I knew I was struggling under his spell. His words were enticing. No, no, no!

"Speak up, Saruman," said Gandalf.

_I can make you so powerful, friends greater than the ones who ignore your presence now will flock to your side, dying for you. You could even challenge the dark lord himself! And then, finally, people will realize who the true hero is. They will regret all along they underestimated your power—who could have saved them all!_

It sounded confusing in my head now. It is SO Count Dooku now, not Saruman.

_Sorry, Saruman, I don't feel like falling to the Dark Side, really! I've never wanted to be a Sith, I was meant to be a Jedi, honestly. You can tell you're evil twin Count Dooku your filthy little plan won't work. _

_You are speaking nonsense, boy, I am not asking you to join a 'dark side' or be a 'sith' so-called, just to be who you were always meant to be!_

_I was meant to be here, against you, with my friends._

_Friends? FRIENDS? Those who ignore unless they need another hand to battle my forces? _

_Battling your forces is what made us friends, really! A common cause against filthy evil oz-lords really brings people together, you know?_

"Nate, you're as white as a ghost. Is you're leg okay? Nate?"

A fire erupted above and drenched Gandalf in fiery light. Gandalf waited calmly till is dissipated—not a scar nor burn was on him.

_Join me, young Nathanial, I can make every wish of yours come true. _

_Saruman, you're wasting your time. I certainly won't join you, and YOU certainly aren't going to buy me an ipal speaker set for my ipod nano! So you've lied again! Just get out of my head! It's my head! You can shut the door behind you. Wipe your feet on the mat, please. And I'm hiding the spare key!!!! _

_You make no sense, vermin. Ah well. You had your choice. You chose death._

_I did NOT, I just didn't choose you. I never mentioned death. Who mentioned death? Who DOES that, anyways? It's not a pretty subject…believe me, I've already died once. It hurt. I don't want to do it again. For the last time, leave my brain alone, Dooku!_

_Stop calling me Dooku!_

_Dooku Dooku Dooku! _

"Nathan," Lindy was twisted halfway in the saddle. "Please. Stop."

Huh?

"Huh?" I said out loud. Saruman's voice had finally left. It's about time. "What was I doing?"

"Falling off the saddle. I can't hold on to you any longer. You're heavy."

"Um," I righted myself. "Sorry."

"SARUMAN!" said Gandalf loudly. "Your STAFF is BROKEN!"

"Staff esta rompió en mucho pedazos!" I laughed evilly.

Théoden began calling to Grima. "Grima! Come down!" he coaxed, like calling a wretched dog to come home. I did feel sorry for him. He needed to go back to Rohan and heal his brain.

"HE WILL NEVER BE FREE!" hollered Saruman, his 'big voice' not as comforting and spellish now that his staff was gone.

"No," cried Grima, as if his heart was breaking.

"Shoot him," said Gimli. Only he wasn't speaking to Legolas. He was astride the horse next to me, and nudged my toe with his boot.

I notched an arrow to my bow. Wait a second. I think we're following the books, right? I can't shoot Grima! It's Grima who kills Saruman in the end, when Saruman takes over Hobbiton. Without Grima, the hobbits would live under the power of a fallen, corrupt wizard.

Gimli reached over and kicked the end of my bow. The arrow was let loose.

"NO!" shouted Gandalf, shooting a glare at me that good have ripped me apart right where I sat.

"I didn't--" I started. There was a howl. Grima received it in the collar bone.

"He'll live," Aragorn said quietly. "Grima isn't dead. He's already plucked the arrow harmlessly from his body."

"You were NOT TO FIRE UNLESS UNDER MY INSTRUCTION," Gandalf thundered.

"Gandalf," I said weakly, "Really. I didn't."

"You purposely disobeyed me, like you do all the time!" Gandalf said angrily.

When was the last time THAT happened?

"Gandalf," Gimli said quickly, looking like he felt terrible for my getting in trouble.

"Not another word!" Gandalf held up a hand.

"Gandalf--"

"No."

Saruman had long since left our eyesight, pleased at the fighting among friends. A house divided among itself cannot stand. And he knew it, too.

Grima disappeared.

Not long afterwards, a clammy looking hand darting out a window, tossing a black, heavy ball straight for Gandalf's head. It missed Gandalf by a few yards and plunked harmlessly in the water.

"A ill-aimed stroke from that dratted wizard," said Legolas.

"Not from Saruman," Gandalf said, staring into the water from which the ripples came. "He'd not part with any of his trinkets. A farewell from Grima, I think."

Pippin had long since run over to it and picked it up, staring eagerly at evil crystal ball.

"Pippin, give it to me," Gandalf held a hand out. "I'll take that, my lad. Quickly now!"

He was so patient with the hobbits. Now he thinks I was mad and decided to kill Grima randomly. He knows me better than that! Or does he?

If he wants to think I'm a complete, utter idiot and mess, let him. I'm not going to play the blame game and tell him it's all Gimli's fault. If Gimli wanted to say something, he would.

That's what this group is turning out to be. They don't trust me. That's the problem—not one of them trust me. It made my heart want to break.

I ought to take James and Lindy and myself back to my Earth right now.

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**Little bits of angst for poor, insecure Nathan. Small sparks (not flames) accepted. READ AND REVIEW, or I shall send evil Saruman voiceovers to…uh…you're brains? Minds? House? **


	32. Here At The End of All Things

**You are all going to hate me. You're all going to hate me. Sniff. I feel sad already. Don't worry, I have plans, and a sequel is in the making! Yay! But you're still going to hate me….I'm sorry…..**

**Read and Review!

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**Chapter 32, Here at the End of All Things**

_That's what this group is turning out to be. They don't trust me. That's the problem—not one of them trust me. It made my heart want to break……………_

_I was meant to be here, against you, with my friends._

_Friends? FRIENDS? Those who ignore unless they need another hand to battle my forces? ……………_

"_Alright Gramps," I said, after me and Gandalf had been seated in a table thing on a balcony thing overlooking a waterfall thing. "I've got this little, hm, dilemma…"_

"_So have I," Gandalf said, his eyebrows wagging up and down. "And I think you're it."……………………_

_I'll never forget her face when she handed to cloth to me. "May it remind you of what you learned," she said, smiling, her eyes lighting up. "And what you will become, and what lies ahead. You cannot guess it's powers, but they will aide you when you least expect it."…………………_

_They don't trust me. That's the problem—not one of them trust me. ……………_

"_I don't like Nate any more than roasted spinach in a pig," Lindy countered. "At least, romantically, I mean."………………_

"_I'm proud of you, Nathanial," Boromir choked out quietly. "No matter how this turns out…………………_

"What's happening?"

I found I was choking up. My head was throbbing. Memories poured out of nowhere and overwhelmed me.

"_I'm Nate," I said, holding out my hand. Aragorn took it and shook it, but it was unenthusiastic. "I'm lost. I stumbled upon ya'll quite on accident. And I'm not a spy, though her highnesses thought I was."…………………………_

"_You come from an ugly, despairing world, do you not?" asked Aragorn curiously._

"_Some of it is," I said. "Other parts of it are like the Shire. Some are like Mordor. We have an entire continent that is like the peak of Caradhras. It's different all over."_

"_Sounds incredible," Boromir said from up ahead. I felt more comfortable talking at ease with him, so I trudged a little faster and was soon walking side by side with him……………………………………_

_He was pulling his sword out of my stomach—the blade was covered in my own blood…………………………………………_

_Nathanial!" Legolas said softly. "He's gone, Aragorn."_

_No, I'm not, I wondered at him for thinking this. He was a smart guy. I wasn't dead yet………………………………_

"No, please!" I cried, burying my face. "I'll do better, I promise, I'll stick it out, I'll fight, don't make me go back!"

_Oh, Nathanial, I've given you an incredible gift! _Galadriel's voice. _You've thrown it to the wolves. Of course they trust you! They trust you with their lives! How could you think differently?_

Because I'm an idiot, Galadriel. A complete idiot. I feel so alone. I know I shouldn't! Sometimes it just feels like the world is turning against me. I don't get it. I'm just feeling emotional. Don't make me go back home.

_Nathanial, Middle-Earth was here to help you. You came as a silly young boy, who did silly things and excused them with ADD, but you learned. You came to Middle Earth to learn. And somewhere, along the way, that changed._

I'm still learning!

_No. You are no longer learning. You've put up shields—because now you are hiding. Middle Earth isn't meant to hide you from you're troubles back at home, it's here to help you face them. Middle Earth has it's own problems. It's time you returned and faced what you've run from._

What I've RUN from? I thought, I mean, but, I…

_You can't be here in Middle Earth. You can't grow up until you stop running away. _

Galadriel, girl, you're breaking my heart. I love Middle Earth. I don't want to leave.

_I know, young one. It's because we care for you that we are doing this._

Will I ever come back? What about James and Lindy?

_James and Lindy were here for you. They came for you. You've overcome your barriers with Lindy, James has learned to believe in the impossible. But now your life is waiting for you at home. It is no longer here._

But, will I ever come back?

Silence.

Galadriel, please…

"Nate!" someone shook me. "Nate," said Lindy's voice—kinder, gentler. "We're…we're back."

I looked up. The schoolyard was the same as before. I was shaking.

"Are you okay?" I asked Lindy. She nodded with some hesitation. "Y-yes. I think so. James?"

"It feels like a dream," James said unsteadily. He glanced at his watch. "Nate, it seems an hour or two has gone by. You're late for like, only the last fifteen minutes of your classes. I think we should go."

I was sitting against the bench, on the ground, in my normal clothes—except for my necklace from Galadriel. I clutched the stone.

"Take me back," I whispered. There was no response.

"It's over, Nate," said Lindy, touching my arm. "I'm sorry. I know there was so much you wanted to do."

I brought my knees up and laid my forehead against them. I messed everything up.

"Want me stay awhile?" asked James kindly, putting a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

"Would you?" I replied, my voice thick. "Thanks. I'm…I'm glad you went with me. I'm glad you two are with me now."

"Here at the end of all things?" offered Lindy with a rueful smile, plopping down beside me.

"Well, some things," James ended, staring absentmindedly into the sky.

That's right. Some things ended, whether I liked them too or not. I resolved to learn. I promised I'd change. I made up my mind, then and there—I would earn the right to return to Middle Earth, and help them battle for their freedom.

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**Wow! I am finally done with this book. The sequel will be posted today too. Go read it! Review, review, review! I know…I know….I'll accept flames this time. Lor' knows I deserve them.

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**Author's Lovely (naughty!) Little Note! (I misunderstood the guidelines and almost got in big trouble for this little fellah! quails)**

**Wow, thirty-two chapters! I'm so excited that this part of the story is over, it was so much fun…it's hard to believe I started this thing thinking it'd really flunk out the first chapter, but I got SO MUCH support from my reviewers! **

**It seriously wasn't possible without you guys, because, as it were, reviews are what inspire me to write up another chapter. Lol. **

**Anyways, now I'm starting a new one, and it will continue the adventures of Nate (and we'll see some of Lindy and maybe James) before the sequel. If you go to my profile page, you'll find the interlude, "Home Again" and it will have three or four, maybe more, chapters before the main sequel. I guess you could call it a trailer for the next one. **

**Anyways, if you liked this story, PLEASE GO READ IT! It clears up, let's say, some of those "things" that Nate was running from that Galadriel said he needed to counter before he could come back. So please, please go read it! I beggeth you! Or chandeliers…or wolves…or 'I doth commandeth'…you know the drill. ;-)**

**Thanks for taking this fabulous journey with me, it was LOADS OF FUN,**

**Pippin **

**(and now you shall all know my secret)**

**aka Lindy (the real one) **

**I think I'll try and post a picture of me and "Nate" (name withheld so that crazy fangirls won't go chase him) on my homepage. We'll see. ;-)**


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